The 2020 Viv Albertine Cup – Round 4


Greetings Tipsters

The eyes, they do get tired of screens sometimes, so I spent much of the weekend in bed with a book or six. Books, remember them? A friend of mine said, at least fifteen years ago, that people who read books would one day be like people who brew loose leaf tea in a pot, a rare breed.


Maybe they always have been. I was born an inveterate reader, first read a novel in one day when I was eight years old. It was a boy’s adventure book set in 1947 or so, about searching for a sunken galleon in the Caribbean, featuring a former USN destroyer CO and a runaway kid on an old schooner, a dastardly Nazi on a fancy new boat, it was 280 or so pages, a decent length. The author’s first name was Robb, his surname and the title are unfortunately long forgotten. I do remember from the brief bio that he lived on a private island in the Pacific with his family, which seemed fantastically exotic.


I’m sure that kids like that are still out there, good luck to ‘em. Last weekend, in between stuff like short stories by William Faulkner and Somerset Maugham and essays by Christopher Hitchens and Clive James, I read Viv Albertine’s 2014 bio ‘Clothes Music Boys.’ Viv was at art school in London in the early 70s, met Mick Jones there and was part of the original punk scene long before it was a scene. She played guitar in The Slits, perhaps the most punk of punk bands. Four young women – Ari, the singer, was fourteen when she played her first show – they learned to play onstage and created their sound as they went along. By comparison, members of Sex Pistols and Clash had musical experience long before those bands formed.


Viv has a great writing style, unique unto herself. It’s an interesting, at times harrowing tale that swoops through her life until 2013. Brutally honest, an interesting take on the London punk scene, tho you do have to read between the lines a bit, and what it means to be a woman in a bloke’s world. I recommend it, especially to teenage girls who want to make a go of it in the creative arts. I reckon she wrote it for them.


And so to football…


Some had the odds against the 4&20s at the Gabba, but they gave those upstart Lions a lesson in being a serious team. Two late goals to Brisbane made the result look closer than the match really was. Collingwood 14.12.96, Brisbane 10.13.73


The Dogs can’t catch a trick this season. The Shinboners may be a better team than expected, or Rhyce a better coach, they just muscled all over the oppo. Luke, take the boys down the coast for a surf. North 12.13.85, Footscray 9.9.63


Less a case of Port being bad than the Eagles being too good. Could’ve been better if they’d kicked straight and, strange as it may seem, if their defence hadn’t slacked off at crucial moments. West Coast 13.17.95, Port 12.10.82


Geez, you wouldn’t believe it, but the Crows were lucky. Tigers sprayed a lot of easy kicks, a fair few OOFs. Walker captained by example, stood strong, kicked three. Richmond 17.14.106, Adelaide 6.7.43


The Schoolies had a fair ol’ go, ya gotta give ‘em that. 52000 frustrated Freo fans were not be denied their moment in the sun in what will be a long season for both these teams. Fremantle 11.16.82, Gold Coast 10.11.71


The Monaros have had a cruisy start to the season, seemed to take the foot off the accelerator and stop for a wizz at the side of the road when they could have dropped to third and floored it. Still, you can only beat that you’ve been drawn to play. This correspondent was somewhat frustrated. GWS 13.15.93, Essendon 8.6.48


Twenty-seven years back, Blues put forward a plan to take over Swans. Big Jack must be grinding his teeth in frustration while he sits in the loungeroom of his shared house, drinking Fosters from the can and finishing cigarettes in one long drag. Sydney 13.12.90, Carlton 10.12.72


A better match than expected, Saints were pretty good, had a bit of dash about them. Fuschias displayed some unexpected ticker but never got over that rotten second term. St Kilda 13.10.88, Melbourne 11.11.77


Mayblooms likely played their, ahem, ‘Grand Final’ last week and the famed recycling machine may be grinding to a halt. The Pivotonians were efficient enough in a match that never reached the standards of these teams’ history. Geelong 12.14.86, Hawthorn 8.11.59


Another weekend of ‘AFL’, folks, no real sign of any “bolters from the pack”, thus far seems like regulation football for the most part. Good teams, middling teams, lousy teams, but some high scores and flashy play the like of which we haven’t seen for too long a while. The office here has welcomed renowned tough bastard Sean Kelleher. He has stepped in to pick up some of what we lost when Vanessa Nguyen went to work at the Large Hadron Collider


Cheers Tipsters


P&C, A Stop Privatisation Of Footy Production, a division of Trans-Dementia Inc.
Brought to you with the assistance of The Slits’ ‘Cut.’


Team                         Points                             %

GWS 16 178.79
West Coast 16 147.94
Richmond 16 136.43
Sydney 16 121.45
Hawthorn 12 113.45
North 12 110.36
Port 8 121.40
Collingwood 8 116.98
Brisbane 8 96.35
Fremantle 8 95.27
Geelong 8 94.97
St Kilda 4 86.42
Carlton 4 83.87
Footscray 4 75.68
Essendon 4 74.70
Gold Coast 0 74.28
Melbourne 0 64.67
Adelaide 0 62.02




Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.


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About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. george smith says

    This is Collingwood Davros, this is Collingwood Davros

    (in low metallic growl) Since you know the future, you will tell me the reason for every Collingwood defeat. I will program it into their memory banks and they will become the masters of the Universe. Otherwise I will exterminate everybody.

    (in high pitched metallic screech) You will tell me! You will tell me!

  2. Interesting coincidence (maybe) Earl but this weekend out of the blue, I played the hell out of Buzzcocks. Haven’t played a record of theirs for over ten years. Man, they hold up. So, I made a list of three or four other bands from that era to go back to. The Slits are on my list! And X, Gang of Four and Wire. Then I scroll through FA and can’t believe Viv Albertine’s name as title of an essay. I didn’t know she had a memoir out. Sounds like something else to add to the list! Thanks for the heads up.


  3. John Butler says

    Earl, you touch on an old punk debate.

    A hard core faction of punkists of the day could never come at Joe Strummer as a legit punk, because, horror of horrors, he’d started in a pub rock band. Ideologically unsound, it was deemed.

    No such questions about Viv and co. They were punk to the core.

  4. Earl O'Neill says

    70s London punk details could be debated at great length. I have a copy of Jon Savage’s ‘England’s Dreaming’, purchased some decades back. Maybe it deserves a second reading.
    Most of those bands had one okay single, at best. Sex Pistols had one album, only Clash and Buzzcocks had a decent career. Siouxsie & Banshees did, but it didn’t count for much.
    George, you may have Dalekz but I have Tardis.

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