The 2020 Rabbit Hole Cup – Round 13

 

Greetings Tipsters,

 

What’s with this ‘other’ ‘AFL’? Round Two in June, sixteen minute quarters, empty stands. What next, a Sunday night Grand Final in summer? What sort of alternate universe do you have to be living in to fall for that? I’ve been warning about the Illuminati influence on our great game for a while now, maybe you will now heed my prophecy. That AAMI ad with the twins is creepy, even if it is, allegedly, CGI.

 

Anyway, back to football and a quick review of the season of those with the bye this week.

 

Carlton, sixteenth. There’s been a few of the dreaded ‘honourable losses’ for the Blues this season, three in the last four matches. And there’s the rub. They can’t string four good terms together consistently or regularly kick fourteen goals a match. Can’t expect Harry Mackay to carry the forward line.
931 – 1054 – 88.33 – 12
L L W L W W L L L L L L

 

Collingwood, fourth. Last weeks loss showed a team in need of the break. They play a tough, pulverising style of football, the moreso the last month as the scoring has dropped off. Allasame, short odds on a Top Four berth and that style looks built for September.
1072 – 934 – 114.78 – 32
W L L W W W W L W W W L

 

Fremantle, seventeenth. The Purps weren’t looking too bad for awhile… Well, the defence wasn’t, but that has withered under the strain this last month. Goalkicking has been atrocious, only exceeding eleven once. When they kicked twelve.
828 – 971 – 85.27 – 12
L L W W L W L L L L L L

 

Melbourne, eleventh. Now, how’s that for a formline? Buncha Ells, buncha Double-Yoos. Fuschias’ best is damn good, whether they can keep it up is the big question.
979 – 934 – 104.82 – 24
L L L L L L W W W W W W

 

Richmond, third. Tigers have won two of the last three flags and are doing all the right things to win another.
1130 – 980 – 115.31 – 38
W W W W L W D W L W W W

 

Sydney, tenth. Swans made a bright start, thanks to a favourable draw. Five of the six losses were against top six teams and they haven’t conceded more than thirteen goals, so it hasn’t been as bad as it looks. Competitive rebuilding.
1004 – 950 – 105.68 – 24
W W W W L L W L L L L W

 

If we must have byes, then this is the way to do it. I dig these six match rounds, reminds me of a simpler time, when there were five auto-manufacturers in the country, a rock and roll band in every pub and no-one questioned a fifteen year old when he got a beer.

 

Much as we expected, and not unlike the Battle Of Britain when the Eagle Squadron took to the skies over Kent to teach the Boche a lesson, the Bombers lost. Surprisingly competitive and leading at halftime, nonetheless Worsfold is at a press conference as we write, announcing his retirement from coaching. He has purchased two Chemist Warehouse franchises in Gosnells and Midland. West Coast 14.16.100, Essendon 11.13.79

 

Cats are on a roll lately, leapt onto the sidetable and smartly knocked the vase of Mayblooms to the floor. Clinical efficiency. Rumours that Clarko was seen at The Cigar Club bemoaning his rejection of the Schoolies job have not been confirmed. Geelong 16.13.109, Hawthorn 8.8.56

 

Shinboners, just when you’re about to write them off, they play their best match of the season. Lions tease, too many goal shots were panicky kicks as the oppo just kept on bashing and barging and rattling them. I might buy shares in the Shinboners preferred surgery, it’ll be busy in October. North Melbourne 13.15.93, Brisbane 10.17.77

 

Schoolies at home, told you it’d be a tough gig. They took the lead six minutes in and didn’t relinquish it, tho it came mighty close a few times. Saints couldn’t respond to the pace and ball use quick enough. Gold Xoast 14.12.96, St Kilda 12.11.83

 

Yeah, should’ve seen this one coming. Monaros have, aside from the win at Eagles, been sorely off the pace the last few weeks. Beveridge pulled moves like a surfie on the pinball machine at a beachside bowling alley and the Dogs ran around like a bunch of kids who all drank giant cups of cola. Footscray 14.8.92, GWS 11.8.74

 

Given the general crappiness of these two this year, the Showdown was a surprisingly good contest, Port kicking the last goal of the match with 70 seconds on the clock. Like all the best Showdowns, it was not without controversy. Local gambling identity, Russ Wright, using infra-red video binoculars that were, for reasons yet to be established, taken to the ground by his good mate, legendary musical identity Ed Kuepper, was the first to call out Port for excessive numbers on the paddock late in the third when Crows were entrenched in their forward line for little effect. Squire MacLachlan has stated that official footage is inconclusive and that evidence of three Port players on the bench is due to one player having ducked down to the rooms for a quick chat with his missus. Port Adelaide 12.13.85, Adelaide 11.9.75.

 

Cheers Tipsters

 

P&C, A Stop Privatisation Of Football Production, a division of Trans-Dementia Inc
Brought to you with the assistance of New Order live in New York, 1981.

 

(* – extra game)
GW * – 1237 – 982 – 125.97 – 42
WC – 1119 – 916 – 122.16 – 40
Ri – 1130 – 980 – 115.31 – 38
Co – 1072 – 934 – 114.78 – 32
Ge – 1080 – 945 – 114.29 – 32
Br – 1068 – 981 – 108.87 – 28
SK – 1017 – 960 – 105.94 – 28
NM * – 997 – 1008 – 98.91 – 28
Fo * – 1004 – 1038 – 96.72 – 28
Sy – 1004 – 950 – 105.68 – 24
Me – 979 – 934 – 104.82 – 24
GC * – 980 – 1135 – 86.34 – 20
Ha * – 948 – 1135 – 83.52 – 20
PA – 945 – 986 – 95.84 – 16
Ad * – 981 – 1128 – 86.97 – 16
Ca – 931 – 1054 – 88.33 – 12
Fr – 828 – 971 – 85.27 – 12
Es – 758 – 1084 – 69.93 – 4

 

 

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About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.

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