The 2018 No Zones Cup – Round Twenty

Greetings Tipsters


The numbers did the right thing by me again last weekend. Twelve goals each on Frinite, then a feast of 16 goals from each of four teams on Satarvo. What are the odds on that? Five matches decided by a total of 15 points. Four matches decided by a total of 44 goals.


Funnily enough, by Sunday morning I was reading the first of several articles along the lines of ‘just cos we had some close exciting football, doesn’t mean the game don’t need rule changes.’ One writer asserted that a mate was at the VFL rules-trial and said that it was “marginally better.” The extended goal rectangle reminded me of Gene Simmons.


Read an interview with Sylvain Sylvain today, he described Kiss, who took a lot of ideas from the New York Dolls, as “like going out to buy a Cadillac and coming home with a refrigerator.”


If Aragorn wants rule changes, he’ll wave his magic sword around and rule changes we shall have. Kinda makes you miss Zeus, don’t it? For all that I’ve added to the litany of plaint about the state of the game, I haven’t once advocated a change to the rules of play. Zones at centre bounces are pointless, most teams will line up like that anyway and, from the moment the ball hits the turf to when a ruckman gets a hand to it, there’s plenty of time for forwards to run about. So add that to the malarkey about nominated ruckmen and the protected zone, if anything, we should have less rules.


Oh boy, there’s a thesis about sport reflecting society waiting to happen there. Three of four AFL CEOs have posh backgrounds, Aragorn looks like he should be on a horse, larking about in one of those 19th century melodramas that Sigrid Thornton used to star in, but with a lavish costume budget. A scion of the local squattocracy, he’d ride into the village and pin notices to the boards in the church, town hall and general store informing the local women that they’d henceforth have one less day of work per week but he still expected them to perform the musical comedy he’d written for them at the Christmas pageant.


I had my doubts about his motives and the DAFL expansion months ago – – say he has good reason for shrinking the season, why wouldn’t he speak to all the interested parties before saying anything? Daisy’s a sharp one, well connected, keep her in the loop a bit. (She might have his job one day.)


Hamish’ best work on telly is when he’s interviewing a six year old kid. So… holy crap, this is like an episode of the Goon Show. (There’s a brother named Banjo…)


Having talked up the Wiggles and the Monaros last week, they promptly went and screwed themselves. Simpson has been a big part of the Monaros good form, he gave them a bit of the Shane Mumford. He’s almost as important as Toby Greene.


Andrew Gaff suffered the moment from hell. Andrew gets a great war story (I’ve crashed cars and motorcycles, I know how these things work) and will hit Season 2019 in a better frame of mind than his assailant.


Wiggles have lost their best midfielder, Monaros their big bloke. Lobb reminds me of Jeff White.


The beast may yet be slain.


Faith in institutions. We used to have that.


Cheers Tipsters


P&C A Stop Privatisation Of Footy Production
Brought to you with the assistance of The Kingsmen.


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About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. John Butler says

    Some rippers there, Earl.

    Especially the Sylvain Sylvain line. Kinda sums up how I always felt about KISS.


  2. Earl- Like the fine work of Er, I’m sure this could be hand-delivered to AFL House, read aloud to all gathered there, and the collective response would be Easter Island. These weekly posts are always a treat.

    Here’s my list of artists who make me change the car radio like a ninja-
    1. P!nk
    2. KISS

    That’s it.

  3. It all makes sense now Earl. When Simmo told the boys that the Yellow Wiggle had to drop the Purple Wiggle, Gaffy thought it was a game day instruction.
    Thanks for the Louie Louie reminder Earl. Great stuff. Where Roger Daltrey got his snarl from.

  4. Earl O'Neill says

    Maybe ER and I ought collaborate on a screenplay.
    Wednesday was the anniversary of the release of Kingsmen’s ‘Louie Louie’ tho Sonics version is better.
    Link to the Sylvain Sylvain int –

  5. Earl O'Neill says

    Paragraph beginning “Andrew Gaff”, second sentence oughta start with “Angus.”

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