The 2016 Peter Knights Cup – Round Six

Greetings Tipsters


Sateve, Tom Hawkins was interviewed after the match and said “It’s such an even competition.”  Did he look at the scoreboard?  Has he checked the ladder?  Did he read my column last week?


Why should he?  His job is to kick goals, not to provide incisive analysis – which makes the post-match player interviews moot.  It didn’t seem like such an even competition Saturday but we got a hint Sunday, Brisbane nearly took out Sydney.  Leppa’s Lions are starting to look like a proper football team and if not for conceding five goals in ten minutes in the first would have earned themselves a meritorious win.  Their tropical counterparts, tho…


Freak of draw, the two expansion teams playing the two dominant teams of the last decade same night.  Geelong and Hawthorn have won seven of the last nine flags, Monaros and Schoolies haven’t won anything.  Yet here we are, The Monaros are charting at #5 with a bullet.


The HFC have been troubled by pace the last few years, they’re a team of aging warriors, I expected a Monaros win of three or four goals, no reasoned observer would have predicted that rattling smack in the chops.  The Orange Tide was fast and hard and sharp, delivering a smashing such as the Golden Brown haven’t known for a decade.  Random stat, three Sparrows had over 20 touches, eleven Monaros did so, three had at least 30.


Is it a defining moment?  Hawthorn have sneaked out of gaol three weeks running, there’d be a mental and physical toll from those games, sure, but they looked flat and slow and almost disinterested.  I expected their aging list to fall short this year, but the way they’re travelling they may not even make the finals.  Yeah, they’re 4 & 2 but a percentage of 91.8 is barely mediocre and a more accurate reflection of where they stand.


That glorious exhibition done with, the Gary Ablett Jr Cup was screening.  It seemed close for a bit. Then Geelong decided they might play some football, as is their wont.  The most interesting thing about the Schoolies thereafter was the near perfect contrast between their strip and the lawn.


Here’s something for fans of the navy and white hoops to dwell upon – Geelong’s percentage is near double Hawthorn’s, cos they’ve conceded less than two-thirds the points.


Fffllsshhhiin[aioe5u79u8q2-452)&%^&@#+)_(*&T.  Excuse me, I drifted away on numbers, patterns catch my attention.  The Wiggles exactly doubled the 4&20s score on Sunday.  I was talking to one of my many sisters a few days back, we’re going to the SCG to see Sydney v Melbourne for Dad’s 81st birthday and I thought, wouldn’t it be neat if the score was 20.16 to 19.6?


Hawthorn, after some extraordinary years, are fading, Geelong, after a few average okay years, might be on the way back.  You’d expect it, these are super-professional clubs riding the waves of smart planning.  The Cats may have stolen a march by moving out older players who weren’t gonna be in the next GF photo.


Their Saturday oppo are another study altogether.  The Schoolies started out almost okay and have more or less stayed there.  The Monaros started like a burning paper bag fulla dogcrap and have gotten better.  They’ve no cocaine freaks on the list, no Bible study groups.


Nous.  Practicality.  Almost common sense.  Club culture, list management, all those little details the Monaros have done well, the Schoolies haven’t.  So much so that they’re all but starting over.


Let’s swing our gaze to the once upon a time Big Four.  Collingwood can at least point to a flag in the last decade, but humiliated the coach who won it.  I’d get some figures out on the collective finals results in the Twenty First Century but I haven’t seen the work experience kid since I gave him $70 and sent him down the road for a bottle of vodka and two packs of cigarettes.  Note that, folks, girls are always better for work experience than boys.


Carlton, Essendon, Richmond have dicked around with finals, hasn’t amounted to anything.  The Tigers (they’re from Tigerland, the fighting fury, some say) have 70,000 members and drew 27,000 last weekend.  How’s the latest five year plan working out?


Quick study:  Carlton are starting from a long way back but may have finally figured it and may crack the finals this decade; Collingwood, hubristic as always, will sack Nat, then sack his replacement;  Essendon, should they listen to the coach, may learn something and make the Eight in the next few years; Richmond will eat ‘emselves alive, as they do.


And the little Melbourne teams?  Footscray and North are leading the pack, St Kilda and Melbourne are getting it together, ahead of the biggish four, free of the trappings of aristocracy, carving out their own niche and why not?  It worked for H&G.


Cheers Tipsters


P&C, a Stop Privatisation Of Footy Production, a division of Trans-Dementia Inc.

Brought to you with the assistance of Sonic Youth ‘Dirty’






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About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. E.regnans says

    A lot to like here, E O’Neill.
    Of Schoolies; the “near perfect contrast between their strip and the lawn” a highlight for me.

    All of these guys are gun footballers.
    So why the discrepancy in match performances?

  2. Enjoyed this Earl. Lots of nice observations.

    Thanks to Sonic Youth for their help. Diamond Sea from Washing Machine a favourite. Exquisite guitar noise.


  3. Earl O'Neill says

    ER – if we knew the answer to that question, football could be a lot less interesting. Club culture has a lot to do with it. F’rinstance, Richmond took Tambling ahead of Franklin, but would Lance have become the superstar if he had started in the yellow and black? He might have gone home within four years.

    Mickey, I hadn’t listened to SY for years before Monday eve. It seemed a bit flat, but I rarely listen to anything later than 1966 these days. 30s Swing is fantastic! They were a great live band, I’ve a bunch of photos from 1988 tour around here somewhere.

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