The 2014 ‘Mopsy’ Fraser Cup – Round One

Greetings Tipsters


Bloody hell, that took a while, didn’t it?  Worlds have risen and fallen, empires have collapsed, pink cheeked toddlers have grown up, married, divorced, cuddled their great-grandchildren and gone to their graves still not knowing who would be top of the ladder after Round One.


Now it can be revealed.  Freo are king of the heap and Buckley’s boys are, consequently, eating mud.  Giants and Saints are in the eight, oh boy, won’t that be a showdown next week!


On the evidence, unlikely.  The Saints win was as dismal a match as I’ve seen.  Six goals to halftime, sixteen for the match.  Melbourne’s away strip was most un-Melbourne-like.  There was a lot of white, some red, a dash of blue.  At a distance, it looked a little like the GWS away strip.  Remove the blue and you’ve just about got a Swans strip, which may’ve brang a pang to Roos’ heart.


‘Cos there’s nothing quite like going back home.  Just ask Bomber of the Bombers.  He was having himself a whale of a time Frinite.  Stretched out in the box, getting himself comfy.  I didn’t see one of those little travel pillows you put around the back of your neck, but I’m sure it was there, that and a longneck of Coopers Pale.  Tommy Hafey wouldn’t have been so relaxed.  449 touches, that’s over-finessin’ if ever there was!


O’ course, it didn’t hurt that North showed up without a forward line, Lindsay Thomas aside.  They must’ve missed the bus.  Long kicks to the goalsquare and the only tension was whether the red and black-clad backmen would finish their debate about who was to take the mark before the ball arrived.


The Shinboners did have Dal Santo’s boots.  Lordy!  Were they bright or was it an acid flashback?  A screaming shade of coral pink and hi-vis yellow, every time the camera went in close to the pack, there they were, looking all the more vivid against the white and royal blue socks.  Like a distant set of headlights on a back-coutnry highway at dusk, they caught the eye.


Then I’m enjoying the live press conference.  Thommo looked and sounded like a bloke talking over the game in a suburban pub, only healthier.  The press contingent were better dressed, they seemed to be a different bunch to last week.  Maybe the homeless-bum-lookalikes were all from Westralia.


“Only here for one season” he told the journos.  “Not here for a long time” said Thommo to Timbo in the rooms, with a big grin.


Really?  Not if Tania Hird has anything to do with it.  She’s been taking notes, you know, which is not surprising, she has a law degree, taking notes is part of the training.  She must’ve been straining at the leash and when Jim let go of it at Tullo, she took off like a hungry greyhound.


Tammy would be proud – – and they could swap hair tips.


It’s weird.  The EFC are still paying him, they’ve shouted him this trip to France, many tens of thousands of dollars for him to study business for a few months while the family get to live in a chateau outside of Paris.  T-shirt Tom would just go and do 1000 pushups a day and run to Ballarat and back.


There were other matches on this latest weekend, but I don’t know much about them cos they were on cable.  Here in Sydney, the Seven network have better things to do with their three channels than show football.  I don’t what they are, I ignore the teev most days, but alligators may have been involved.


If that wasn’t bad enough, the Ten network have sold their rights to telecast Moto 2 and Moto 3, the Reserves and U/19s of the premier class of motorcycle racing, to cable and that really pisses me off.  They were often a lot more fun to watch than Moto GP – but, hey, weren’t those laps with Rossi and Marquez racing for first a blast?


Round One of the 2014 AFL season wasn’t much of a Round One.  It was drawn out too long, it was anti-climactic.  There’s big games on this week, tho, thank the gods for that.  The afore-mentioned GWS/StK Clash Of The Titans, the Richmond “We’re Top Four Quality” vs Carlton “The Premiership Window Is Still Open” battle for the Misty Nostalgia Cup, the “No, Neville Is Loved By Everybody” Serepax Swans vs the “It’s Not Rebuilding, It’s Re-Adjusting, Just Wait Til You See Our New Game Plan” 4&20s, but mostly I’m looking forward to the press conference after Frinite’s Red And Black vs Brown And Yellow.  Will Dermie sneak into the rooms at halftime to give the Mayblooms a bit of the ol’ bifferola stim?  Will Paul Van De Haar show up with a six-pack and clout Dermie with an empty before they settle down on the dodgy Terrordome turf to polish off the rest of the Grolsch?


As Big Kev used to say, I’m excited!  And I bet you are too.  All this, and Gary Ablett’s Paleolithic diet.


Cheers Tipsters


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About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. Thank Christ the video was Tammy Wynette. I thought it may have been Tammy Faye Bakker.
    Great stuff as always Earl.

  2. daniel flesch says

    Earl , PLEASE , it’s brown and gold , not yellow. Yellow is but one step from those highly unoriginal and equally unamusing , immature poo and pee allusions. Great write-up otherwise though .

  3. Earl O'Neill says

    New Orleans Saints wear gold, Dan. Lotta teams claim to wear gold when it’s really orange or yellow.
    And you gotta admit, the poo and pee jokes, however dull, are not unwarranted, esp w the piping on the 70s shorts.
    Allasame, point taken, that boat has sailed.

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