The 2012 ‘Mopsy’ Fraser Cup – Round Seventeen

Greetings Tipsters

And then there were three. No, there are still four but the 4&20s are looking a bit wobbly. The Buck blames Trav for denaturing the brand but it runs a bit deeper than that. For the shiniest exemplar of the brand, beyond all the T-shirts and stickers and kids in schoolyards, is the team that takes the field on the weekend and that does appear to be fading at the wrong time.

The Inkpot twins were everywhere, grabbing the ball out of packs, setting up goals, kicking goals. Scott and Steele, young and handsome and surely never alone in the early hours of Sunday, did their fair share and then some. We expected more. In the second, the 4&20s tried to take it up to the Mayblooms and were three goals down when the siren rang, signalling half time. Signalling your correspondent falling asleep on the couch.

I’d been awake since midnight, started work at 3AM. I awoke halfway through the fourth to discover the Mayblooms up by ten goals. It wasn’t a surprise. The monochrome midfield lacks for nothing, but the backline is sloppy and the forwards take setshots like they’re wearing backpacker sandals with Thai bells on.

So I missed seeing the Mayblooms in their full flowering, but I saw them in those few minutes in the second when the 4&20s applied a bit of pressure. Deserving of premiership favouritism ($2.75) they are, but the high possession chipping game can come unstuck. They were damn keen to move the ball on and a lot of handpasses bounced on the way to the (presumably) intended target. Maybe they just had a collective flashback to schoolyard cricket games, when everyone wanted to be Shane Warne. They weren’t being pressured all that much, it just looked a bit too cutesy. Cute don’t win flags, but with Hodge and Franklin and maybe Bateman to return, Bundy Clarkson should be sleeping well this week.

Satnite, Mojo’s Pet Sounds tribute CD got a spin. It is terrible, which made a perfect soundtrack for the first term of the Royals/Scray match.

Mayhap one is being a tad harsh. There were some great marks taken in that first term and The Flaming Lips’ take on ‘God Only Knows’ is a rare example of a Brian Wilson cover that works. Naught, if anything, on Satnite matched the skilllessness of Sunarvo at the SCG.

Numerophiles would be fascinated to hear that the Sparkies had, late in the second, kicked 4.11 and kicked 11.4 thereafter, that the Party Boys kicked 5.1 in the first and 5.15 for the rest of the game. Stats-nuts might consider 20 inside-50s for a return of 2 goals in the third a very decimal set of numbers, but nothing that reflects well upon Scotters’ troops, who tripped over each other more often than usual.

Weird game, I should’ve spun ‘Forever Changes’ while I watched it. Graphics spun up, telling us that the Party Boys had 83% of the term thus far in their forward half; for a return of 5 behinds. Sparkies kicked two goals in their 17%. Kicks went out on the full far too often.

Bad kicking is bad football, this match was beyond a tense contest, it was just frustrating. There was one scant kick in it, late in the fourth, and then the Sparkies woke up – the rohypnol they ate at hafltime must’ve worn off a bit – and kicked four goals as if to say “We’re contenders and you’re NOT!”

Cluelessness of the week must go to the Schoolies, two goals down when the fourth bounced off, nine scoring shots to three thereafter and they lost by eleven points. Disappointment of the week is the Purps, who might as well have lost for not winning by twenty goals against the Barbecues, who were giving the kids a run.

When the Barbecues give the kids a run, you know they’ve had to get permission slips from the parents for young Ambrose to stay out overnight and write the Fourth Form Head Prefect to excuse the li’l tacker from 0500 Cadets training on Monday.

The Eight may not change from now, North are playing some decent football, Drew Petrie aint no Wayne Carey, but he’s doing more than okay. Vagaries of the draw must be accounted for though, but the staff here at Stop Privatisation Of Football spun ‘Screamadelica’, got Loaded (just what is it that you want to do?) and yelling at each other over the stereo, we came to a conclusion that no-one could remember at our next staff meeting. So we decided that ‘The Run To The Finals’ should not be analysed until five weeks in the minor rounds remained. Or maybe four weeks.

So we reclined on the couches and beanbags, on piles of cushions and pillows in the Trans-Dementia Inc offices and laughed ourselves stupid watching ‘Flying High’ on Suneve. Yes, we all chuckled knowingly at ‘Give one for the Zipper’ and the Notre Dame theme played over the credits, seeming much prescient. We sank into a quietish moment, until the work experience girl said “What happened to your surf guitar take on that, boss?”

She learnt a lot about public transport Sun-nite.

Cheers, Tipsters

P&C, A Stop Privatisation Of Football Production

Brought to you with the assistance of ‘Buffalo Bop – Rhythm And Booze’, a collection of obscure C&W tracks from the 1940s.

About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. You got through that one Mopsy without once mentioning the Endangered Species. probably their fair whack. They don’t deserve a mention.

  2. Extinct now Wrapster. Me bruv said so.

  3. Worth mentioning that there is a great gaping hole at the Paddington end of the SCG where a thing known locally as the Noble Stand once stood. While you’re floundering in stats: 73% of goals at the SCG this season have been kicked at the Randwick end.
    The flukey winds – not even the flags atop the members pavilion stand in a uniform direction – may explain the Saints wayward foot delivery towards those goals.
    The meteorological conundrum thrown up by the theft of the Noble may not be as apparent to those who view the great game on the box – and certain television commentators deign not to explain what is actually happening upon the ground and its surrounds.
    There are rumours that the “Trust” are considering filling the aforementioned gape with a new stand.

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