The 2012 ‘Mopsy’ Fraser Cup – Round Eighteen

Greetings Tipsters

I had a peek in my Dictionary of Aphorisms and there, under ‘to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory’ was a picture of a black sleeveless shirt with a yellow sash.

Weren’t the Tiggers suppposed to threaten for The Eight this season? Sure, they’ve gone close a few times and but for a goal here and there could be sixth or so, but the fact is they haven’t kicked those goals, they’ve coughed up leads late in the game, they apparently just don’t know how to win the tight ones and so they won’t even get within cooee of ninth this season.

Given this, it’s a surprise that Hardwick still has a full head of hair, you’d have thought it would have been falling out in huge clumps by now, that he’d look something like Gary Ablett. Perky Girl noticed how unusually shiny young Gaz’ head is and asked if he polished it.

Whenever one watches the Schoolies, you can’t help but notice it as he trots about, collecting is 70 or so touches per match. It’s an enigma that outdoes Eddie Betts’ gigantic shorts.

Meanwhile the Sparkies were getting around in their away strip which, unlike that of many another team, looks okay and makes a nice historical reference. They won without trying too hard, even without playing too well for much of the time. As did the 4&20s.

Stooges Stadium is the best ground in the League and I enjoy watching the young Barbecues having a dip. Buck’s boys were lucky to be playing them, as these alleged premiership contenders miskicked, dropped marks and were generally as sloppy as all hell for the first term and a half.

“They’re not a flag team, Sheeds” said I.

“You’re right. I might mention that at the press conference, see if I can wind up Eddie a bit.”

The Mayblooms, on the other hand, are. Every week they get better, scarily so. The demolition of the Mosquitos was surgically precise, it’s looking more like a case of who can beat them for the flag. Maybe the Sparkies, who can apply pressure around the ball, which is probably the only way to beat them. The winner of the Round Twenty-Two game at the SCG between these two will probably in the Wm McLelland Trophy.

You may have thought the Murder would be a contender, but if they can’t beat the Pivotonians, then they probably aint. Nevertheless, I keep hearing about their easy run home, so they’ll be Top Four, which counts for something.

Their cross-town poor cousins, the sort that no-one wants to speak about, conceded 11 goals and still lost. In a weekend of lopsided results, the Blackouts were beaten by a team who scored no more than four of the losers, while five of the winners kicked at least 16 goals. But that’s life in the lower reaches of the ladder, the unofficial second division of the AFL.

High-scoring games have an unfortunate by-product, that being a lot of ads, especially that super-annoying ad for AAMI featuring Rhonda getting sunburnt. If saving 15% on insurance gets her “somewhere exotic” she must have an awful lot of crap to insure. So can we do something about this, please, before I destroy another remote control.

Cheers, Tipsters

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Brought to you with the assistance of Afghan Whigs bootleg ‘Live In Milan, 1994.’

About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.

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