The 2012 ‘Mopsy’ Fraser Cup – Round 23

(Having been sorely afflicted by illness this week, what there is of this column has been written on the few occasions I could drag myself out of bed. It could and should have been posted two days ago but I crawled back under the covers without realising I’d finished it.)

Greetings Tipsters

For you, the war is over. And you and you and the rest of you. It’s time to put on silly outfits have that one big drunk of the year then start thinking about next year. If you’re a player, anyway, coaches have too much to do. Housecleaning, some call it.

I won the war. Well, I won the tipping comp. 151 correct selections from however many games. It seemed pretty easy, every week there was a bunch of super-obvious games. I did make a few blunders, the most obvious being selecting the Barbecues to beat the Fuschias in Melbourne. Hey, I had a vibe and it was more of a Michael Bay “Pearl Harbour’ vibe than a Joss Whedon ‘Avengers’ vibe.

For the Barbecues and the Schoolies, it’s a season that can be summed up with “getting some gametime into the youngsters.” I suspect that over the next three or four years this might work out a bit better for the lads of Breakfast Point.

The Fushcias and the Scray can make the same excuse, except that they aren’t a vital (ie, telecast deal related) component of Zeus’ plans. Going forward, you understand. Novice coaches, young list. Miserably low support base and 94 years combined flag drought means they won’t attract sponsors too readily. You might as well weld up the flag cupboard, fellows, you won’t be needing it again.

Much the same may be said for the Blackouts, except they have a flag and will have a new coach soon. It may be Brett Starr or Rocket, both of whom have done a few blockies and won’t be walking in there with an overload of bright lights in their eyes.

Being a club legend, with a Brownlow and a swag of premiership medals in your kitbag, allows one several extra credits when you take over coaching the club you led to the ulitmate glory. Jim Hird has Mick Voss’ number in his fone and his skinny blonde wife has been hiding it from him, once he gets halfway the bottle of cognac.

Mick’s team had a better season than the last one. He gets another year. Jim hasn’t screwed up too much, yet. He’ll get another year, and if 2013 is even worse, he can sack Markey T, blame it all on him.

Dimma gets another year cos, like Mick, his team was better than last year. Winning a Coleman medal helps but, bloody hell, “powering to 63 goals” don’t mean much to anyone who remembers when a tally double that wouldn’t guarantee the award. The Tigger Army have several months to talk up next season. Good luck to ‘em. No, really! If there’s any of the zero-to-little hopers I’d like to see win a final, it’d be the Richmond Football Club.

The Royals will have a new coach next year. There’s a very good chance it will be Confucian Mick. Maybe this will be good for the Royals. Possibly, it may work out okay for Mick. I don’t think Nanette is looking forward to it in the least. Somewhere around here I have a photograph shot in January 1997 of an outside wall of Princes Park bearing the graffitti ‘Stop Privatisation Of Footy’.

The Party Boys didn’t do too bad at all. Well, except for winning two less matches than the team ahead of them on the ladder. They rank fifth on percentage, but, trouble is, that ol’ premiership window is creaking closed and their best players, who kept them competitive this year, will be gone or tiring pretty soon.

Thus the deadbeats. Now for the rest of the deadbeats, because the Mayblooms are peaking at the right time and I dunno if anyone can beat them. Unless it’s the Pivotonians. They’ve won a lot of matches since blowing that Grand Final, but it wasn’t until the last win over the P&S that the the psychology really kicked in. On any regular take of things, the Mayblooms should’ve won. But they couldn’t. Interesting finals series coming up.

If the Sparkies don’t beat the Murder, they’ll be out in straight sets. Likewise the Murder. The loser of this game will play the Pivoes in Melbourne. That aint anything you’d wanna look forward to.

The 4&20s may get through to the prelim, by default, more or less. The Wiggles may cause some measure of chaos. The Purps and the Shinboners, good luck to ‘em.

The way it stands, the Pivoes may halt the Mayblooms march to the Grand Final. Someone ought to. Consider, this is a team which marched out in late 1970s with yellow piping on the front of the shorts and brown piping on the back

Can any team make such a joke of themselves and still grab a flag? Evidently so.

Cheers Tipsters

P&C, A Stop Privatisation of Footy Production, a division of Trans-Dementia Inc
Brought to you with the assistance of Round Wonders, Volumes 56, 57 and 58.

About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. Andrew Fithall says

    A correction for you Earl – the loser of the Sparkies v the Murder will play at home in week 2. If it is the Pivoes, it will be their first interstate final for many years.

  2. Earl O'Neill says

    Indeed Andrew, I didn’t think that through. I shall be watching a glorious Sparkies win from Hue.

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