Succulents, Bromeliads, Camellias and Old Trinty

I missed the luncheon. First one I have missed for years.  I had a good excuse; I was getting husband brownie points. My dear wife has an encyclopaedic knowledge of botany and spends hours each week either in our garden or at the Botanical Gardens working as a volunteer. They have a plant sale twice a year and I volunteer (I actually get volunteered) to go along and carry people’s plants to their cars.

Now I know bugger all about plants but the punters, with a large trolley of succulents, bromeliads, camellias and goodness knows what else, always start asking me questions. Now I’m good at gilding the lily and I have a few standard lines (lies) that I use to disguise my utter lack of knowledge and make them feel good about what they have just bought. I pick the most expensive plant they have bought (they have the botanical name and price on the pot) and say “Oh that plant is a favourite of mine and that one I was going to buy myself.” I have some even more shamefaced lines/lies but those are for another essay.


On a sideline, thank God for spell checkers; I had no idea how to spell succulents, bromeliads and camellias.


I do not have anything to say that could make a Royboy feel good about the season so far. Two games, two big losses, what is in store for the rest of the season?


The Two’s winning run came to an end. They had far more of the play but poor kicking and a refusal to ever take the long option cost them the match. While sitting down at the garden end I meet, and started chatting to Joey Busa, who played his entire junior footy with Fitzroy. He is a Fitzroy tragic and showed me photos of all his books about the Roys and the ground. He has bought a membership and it’s good to have him on board.


Raca, Polly, Max Allen and Micky Lee were out and Jules, Parko and Sam Bakers younger brother Luke came in.


The first half was a dismal affair. The score was 8 10 to 0 4. We were being murdered. Parko had a dream first quarter at centre half back but let’s face it; he had all the play up his end. Parko then hurt his hand and missed large parts of the game. I want, however, to use the piece of play that started the third quarter to explain what has happened this season.


The ball was bounced, Roscoe got the clearance; Ablett grubbered a kick forward and the ball finished up with Matty Kyroussis who took one step to many. “Ball” was the cry from the Trinity crowd and “yeah” was their acclamation of the umpire doing the holding-the-ball arm wave. Matty was too slow; he has not adjusted to the tempo of the grade. He is not Robinson Crusoe of course, few of our players have the speed required. We are still too small but last year we were quicker hand–to-foot than the C Grade sides we played. Last year we switched the play quicker, and with more precision, than the other C Grade sides. This year we do not have these sorts of advantages and our lack of size in the ruck and around the ground will be telling weaknesses.


The only player, up forward, who looks like getting a kick, is Ablett. Our forward line has been non-existent so far. Pickers is still injured and Speckie is two stone overweight.


So what were the positives of the day? Well, it was a lovely day, and the ground looked a picture. Ablett was a delight to watch in the second half when he kicked all our five goals. No one else looked remotely like kicking one. Parko was a tower of strength, especially before his injury. Tommy Cheshire looked like he belonged at this level. His attack on the contest could only be described as ferocious.


Another home game next week against Old Brighton and Ken Piesse is the guest speaker. I won’t miss this lunch. All the plants have been sold.


Go the Roys.


  1. Stephen Cooke says

    Husband brownie points, worth their weight in gold.

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