Stripes of survival

It was THE DAY, we the Sport Reporting students were going to temporarily take the place of journalists in a presser. The coach in question was Michael Malthouse.

The room was set up so well you’d think it was the real deal, from the microphones on the table, to the glass of water. My mission was this time to actually ask Mick a question.

The first time I had that chance I was way too overwhelmed and…terrified to open my mouth and I was kicking myself for it afterwards, but not this time.

So basically my job was to ask Mick a good question and hope he doesn’t eat me.

With that in mind I decided it would be a safe option to wear my Collingwood jumper. Think of it as a life jacket while trying to stay afloat in the shark infested current.

We took our seats with the knowledge that we were to ask questions on the Anzac match as if it had just finished. Mick would first role-play as the winning Collingwood coach and then the losing Essendon coach.

As the winning Collingwood coach he strolled in with a massive grin on his face. How Un-Malthouse of him! Haha.

He then took his seat at the table and sat open for questioning. The funny thing about it was that it didn’t even seem like Mick was acting…in fact I really don’t believe he was. Students, mainly the guys, starting asking questions and he didn’t give them a hard time…not at the start anyway.

It was a little hard to know when to ask a question as some students spoke over each other once or twice. Eventually I slowly but subtly half raised my hand. I was sitting in the second row but it was bang directly in front of Mick who quickly looked my way and I asked my question.

“Chris Dawes hasn’t been performing well so far in the season, and …”

– Mick cuts me off smiling and replies “Where are you from?”

…What does that mean?! OMG WHAT DO I SAY…Melbourne? Is he trying to make me forget my question… !!!!

Better be safe and get a clarification. – “Sorry?”

“Which newspaper are you from?”

“Herald Sun.” I replied (can you imagine I said Melbourne… *facepalm*)

“Well in those colors I can say that’s my favorite paper” – he said smiling as everyone had a chuckle.

Thank God for my footy jumper! Back to my question.

“Chris Dawes hasn’t been performing well so far in the season, and he didn’t seem to have much impact in the match today. Is there a chance he may be dropped next week?”

Mick answered my question as he would typically, looking straight ahead shifting a few papers, trying not to give too much away. Basically he said that although Dawes isn’t at the point he wants to be he is still important because he can be used to take pressure off Cloke. – Interesting.

He then again managed to mention my jumper, seriously best piece of clothing ever!

Throughout the lecture I scribbled down some interesting quotes, points Mick made.

On Harry O’Brien- “One of my favorite players, I’d never drop Harry.”

On team selection- “If they can’t perform on the big stage I don’t really want the players in the side.”

– hmmmm Leon Davis anyone?

On Dane Swan’s Anzac Medal performance, Mick basically said that it was Swan’s best game for the year but not the best he’s played.

This is where I wriggled in my seat…42 possessions, 8 tackles and 3 goals; surely he wasn’t still waiting for Swanny to part the Red Sea! :s

Then after Mick started to give a little attitude to a student inquiring about the Dane Swan tummy rub, and managed to eat another two guys who took it well, it was time to face Mick as the losing coach.

This time he walked in and flung his jacket on the table, lips pressed and brow furrowed.

Automatically that song ‘Uh-Oh we’re in trouble, something’s come along and its burst our bubble…’ started playing in my head.

But the class did really well and a lot of the guys asked some really good questions.

Soon it was team photo time, Mick sat in the middle first row chair and everyone else around him as the players do every year. I was directly standing behind Mick and realized just how funny it was that we were taking a team photo and I was wearing my jumper. Mick even turned around to make sure some of the girls and I were all good with a “You girls alright?” to which I replied “Sure, I’m even dressed for the occasion!” And with that I managed to get another laugh out of him  :)

Overall I have to say that my opinion of Mick has changed for the better. He loves Collingwood and wouldn’t have reacted the way he did with everything that’s happened if he didn’t- and for that I can’t blame him.

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo


  1. Well done, Danni! You nailed it. The tactic of wearing the jumper was obviously a winner.

    Did you ask a question (from the Herald-Sun) in his Essendon role?

  2. Great job Maria! Sounds like you handled yourself impeccably.

    I’m so jealous – the only mock press conference we did was in third year, and it was with the head parking officer bloke at my uni. And it wasn’t anywhere near as professional – it was kinda just sprung on us, so we wandered over to one of the media rooms, set up our recorders on a table, and just chilled around.

    You’re getting a great education – make the most of it! I want to see your name and picture in the Herald Sun in a few years!!! (but as a reporter, you know – not for all the wrong reasons :P )

  3. Nice one Danni. What a hoot.

    Next time wear an Eddie mask and a Cats top.

  4. Very cute Danni, how long did it take to get the grin off your face afterwards. The jumper was inspired, but you’d stand out in the crowd anyway. And it’s good to give Mick a laugh, he’s had a rough year. Going along with Phantoms ideas, you could have put a Buckley mask.

    Be well


  5. Who’s Mick Malthouse?

  6. Danielle says

    Glad everyone is enjoying reading about my experience! :)

    Alovesupreme- No i didn’t ask him a question as a loosing coach, most who did got ‘eaten’ haha.

    MARIA!!!! :p Yeah LaTrobe is deffers leading the other universities when it comes to its sports sector.

    Phantom- lol and nooooo :P

    Yvette- Haha i was pretty happy with myself. My uni friend in the Psych faculty were not surprised that i didnt get eaten simply because:
    1- im wearing colours he loves
    2-im too cute to be eaten haha

    Dips, REALLY? lol

  7. Phantom says

    Cute has nothing to do with eating Danni. It is all to do with taste. And all I can gleen from the imformation thus far is that a Collingwood top shows no taste at all and subsequently you were spared from any sort of a chewing from Mick.

  8. Danielle says

    Phantom is a meanie! :( lol

  9. Phantom says

    Great band The Meanies.

    Did a fine version of Acca Dacca’s Long Way Top The Top with a kalamazoo instead of bag pipes.

    Having cuteness is one thing Danni, but taste is another,generally associated with blue and white horizontal stripes (and red jocks).

  10. Andrew Fithall says

    I see Latrobe University has just been named as one of the payers in the forthcoming carbon tax on 1 July. Danni – can this be in any way attributed to the amount of hot air coming out of some of your classes? I don’t know that any other Victorian universities have been named.

  11. Richard Naco says

    Mick Malthouse?

    He’s SO 2011!

  12. Skip of Skipton says

    Risk and reward there Dannielle. The Collingwood jumper could have been like a red rag to a bull. Maybe it was, going on his response that had you in a tizzy? Next time you have to confront Malthouse (controlled environment or not) try an old Richmond jumper with a 7 on the back.

  13. Richard Naco says

    A _lace up_ Richmond jumper with a number 7 on it – an dmake sure you lace it up properly or your mum won’t be happy.


  14. Danielle says

    i didnt know Richmond made corsets lol

  15. Dave Nadel says

    Just read about your interview, Danni. Congratulations. I thought that you would like Mick more now that he isn’t our coach.

  16. Danielle says

    Thanks Dave :) and yes it seems that i do like him now that he’s not coaching.

Leave a Comment