Stop all the clocks, where is Mr Wrap?

(With apologies to) W. H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the Internet,
Prevent the Dogs from barking with an Eagles get,
Silence the Dockers with reminders of Drum
Bring out the Hawks flag to show Purple Scum.

Let Bombers circle bleating overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message Hird Is Dead,
Put Black and Gold bows round the white necks of the Sydney Swan,
Let the traffic policemen ask “where has Mr Wrap gone?”

He was my North (Melbourne), my South (Fremantle), my East (Perth) and West (Adelaide),
My Friday advisor and my Monday made,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that Wrap would return: was I wrong?

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the Giants and dismantle the Sun;
Put down the Cats and sweep up (Colling) wood’s.
For none matched his wit and his praise of the Goodes.


  1. And where did Mark Doyle go?

  2. I fear I may have to put my hand up in at least part responsibility here Sean. Having been vitriolic at times in ridiculing Mark’s contrary views (and the autocratic way in which he asserted them – I recall a David Flint comparison of mine.)
    Please come back Mark. We need cantankerous and contrary voices in an age of political correctness, harm minimisation and risk management from both Left and Right. I now sit in the mediocre middle trying to decide whether I detest arrogant Abbott or mealy mouthed Bill more.
    Mark – in future I promise to snort derisively but privately – and cherish your truly original voice.
    We all need to learn to live with the things we cannot bear to live without.

  3. Couldn’t agree more Peter B. Mark Doyle was the best thing about this website. It ain’t the same without him. COME BACK MARK! WE’VE FATTENED A CALF.

  4. Peter Schumacher says

    I really liked this piece, I have always enjoyed the original but as a “satire” this was pretty good.

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