Round 6 – Brisbane v Sydney: Something Old, Something New.

Brisbane versus Sydney

1.10pm, Sunday May 1st

The Gabba, Brisbane

Jamie Simmons


I have found new love. And, against all the odds, I have done so without the aid of photoshop, fraudulent online profiles or the promise of permanent residency to anyone.


Not only this, the beautiful Mel (oh how the very mention of her name dances around inside my ears like the unwrapping of a Cherry Ripe at Quarter Time) has asked that we be joined in Lions membership, to carry her over the threshold of my single greatest passion, forsaking all other sports, to have and to hold at all Lions home games.


My days appeared destined to remain mired in the heavy gloom of self-pity and solitude but, as it would be on game day itself, brilliant sunshine would eventually appear where none seemed possible.


On the subject of weather, a huge shout out to The Bureau of Meteorology, who I can only assume boast a basement window, obscured largely by thick scrub and children’s play equipment, as the crowning glory of their arsenal of predictive technology. Oh how their nerdish brows must have furrowed when the huge, lumbering monsoon they had dismissed as “scattered showers” descended shortly afterwards outside their viewing portal.


Nevertheless, I took my new love to her first game of AFL undeterred. Entering flanked by a human female briefly stirs the interest of the regulars who quickly sedate, satisfied that this is not a hostage situation and go back to debating what our losing margin might be.


On a day where skill often bows to desire the appalling conditions, pleasingly, have little effect on what evolves quickly into a willing, enthusiastic affair.


Mitch Robinson has a Voss like attack on the football, as though shot from a canon at times, that has officially won me over as a fan. If half the blokes I play Masters level football with attacked a salad with half the enthusiasm Mitch does the football, we wouldn’t need to shorten the quarters…but I digress.


I have very much enjoyed the first, youthful outings of Ben Keays and Aliir Aliir (a name that promises to aggravate spell checks around the nation for many years to come.)


The Swans are organised, regimented, the Lions brave and sometimes daring. The margin rarely nudges double figures and my companion is interested, as much by the weathered moanings of the crowd as the action that plays out before us and even joins in on a few choruses of “Baaalllll!” as her confidence grows. Questions have been encouraged but I receive fewer on the laws governing the game than I do about the colour coding of the officialdom but interest is interest nonetheless.


The multi-million dollar pairing of Buddy and Tippett is an interesting one for me. Franklin kicks five and gives off another. Tippett, though I felt he rucked well when called upon to do so, I can’t help but feel might need to look at doing some odd jobs around the club on weekdays. Especially with spritely young cygnets like George Hewitt, who probably takes public transport to training, starting to make an impact around goal.


A cruel siren bleats and a collective exhale of disappointment engulfs the arena.


The lights of the electronic scoreboard, spruiking the next home game, form an angelic frame around the beautiful smiling visage of Mel as we rise to leave. It occurs to me that if I had waited one more home game I could have called this article Love in the Time of Collingwood but neither this, the final result, the weather or even “Stretchergate” will dampen my spirits today. I have successfully introduced an old love to a new love today and they seem perfectly happy to share me.


Brisbane   3.3    5.7   10.9    14.10 (94)

Sydney      7.1    8.3    12.5    15.7 (97)


Brisbane- Christensen 3, Hanley, Lester, Rich 2 Bastinac, Keays, Mcstay, Walker, Zorko 1

Sydney – Franklin 5 Hewitt, Parker 3 McGlynn 2 Heeney, Tippett 1


Brisbane– Zorko, Robinson, Rockliff, Hanley, Rich, Harwood

Sydney – Hannebery, Parker, Franklin, Kennedy,  Rampe, Mitchell

Umpires: Harris, Stephens, Schmitt                                                                          Crowd: 14, 646

Our Votes: Hannebery (S) 3, Parker (S) 2, Franklin (S) 1


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About Jamie Simmons

Born in Melbourne, a third generation Fitzroy supporter, in 1972 before emigrating to Tasmania during The Great Broccoli Famine of 86. Leaving my island lodgings, largely at the request of locals, to settle once more on the mainland in 1997. These days living out a peaceful existance on the outskirts of Brisbane, where I spend most of my time serving as a fashion warning to others.


  1. Mathilde de Hauteclocque says

    Most enjoyable Jamie.
    I am so glad the old and new loves combined in harmony. It can be precarious.
    As a Swans lover, I did notice that the rows of winter scarf I had knitted in the final quarter of that match did look a fair bit tighter than the rest!

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