Round 8 – Richmond v West Coast: On selling the family farm

 

 

 

 

West Coast might be the world’s most endangered eagle. Until now ornithologists have awarded that status to the Philippines eagle, a species found on only four of the 7,000 islands making up the archipelago. Hard times have come upon a once formidable organisation. They’ve been assailed by a combination of an ageing list, a plethora of injuries and a loss of form for key players. Like Richmond, they’ve been accused of ‘selling off the family farm’ for short-term gain. In the Eagles’ case it was the decision to pay plenty in terms of draft picks to entice Tim Kelly to return home from Geelong and concerning the Tigers, the acquisition of Taranto and Hopper from Greater Western Sydney.

 

Richmond supporters, unfortunately, have no right to be disdainful of the Eagles, who find themselves anchored to the bottom of the ladder with only one win for the season. The Tigers are in sixteenth spot with a win and a draw. Both teams have lost five in a row. In the previous round the Eagles were destroyed by Carlton by a margin of 108 points at Optus Stadium. Such are the ravages of their injury list that they have only 26 players available for selection. They should never have delisted ex-Tiger Patrick Naish, now plying his trade at the Box Hill Hawks. A renowned comedian, he would have at least kept them laughing despite their misfortunes. As for the Tigers, they went down to the visiting Suns at Marvel Stadium and suffered the indignity of having their tiny, if brave, cheer squad launch into a Gold Coast, Gold Coast drone chant near the end of the match.

 

Many Richmond fans are so stricken by their team’s dismal showing that they suspect they’re victims of an AFL conspiracy. It’s all a part of the plan to bring premiership dynasties to an end to ensure that everybody gets a go. It’s certainly conceivable that a Russian-made nerve agent has been concealed in the 50-metre arc paint and that it only effects players in yellow and black. The toxin disrupts the flow of neurons, preventing rational thought and leading to outbreaks of atrocious passes, outlandish decision-making and shots at goal that veer toward pie sellers on either side of the behind posts.

 

Here’s the narrative. Two former high flyers have squandered their family fortunes and been cast out of respectable society. They now find homeless on this bitterly cold Melbourne afternoon. Both teams are desperate for the four points. Richmond are lying in wait and intending to rob fellow unfortunates of their wallets, phones and unused McDonalds vouchers.

 

The hard men of the 1973 premiership team that steamrolled Carlton fifty years ago are guests at today’s match. May today’s Tigers provide a spectacle that’s worthy of them.

 

While I have little confidence in Richmond at the present time, I gratefully acknowledge that West Coast’s problems are far worse than ours. I predict a four-goal win for the Tigers with a score card of eleven goals to seven. But the Eagles outplay the Tigers in a scrappy opening quarter, transitioning the ball from defence to attack with just enough efficiency to keep their noses in front. Petruccelle and Allen boot the first two majors of the game before Pickett replies. In a continuation of West Coast’s appalling run, Rising Star nominee Jai Culley goes down with what looks like a serious knee injury. In the second quarter the Tigers wrestle the game back to more agreeable terms, but fail to capitalise as a result of their wayward shots at goal. Bolton puts them in front for the first time and Taranto scores late to hand the Tigers a slender nine-point lead at half-time.

 

With two more to Oscar Allen and another after a free kick to Jack Darling, the Tigers relinquish their lead at the 19-minutre mark. Richmond supporters are becoming testier by the minute and contemplate the unthinkable indignity of falling to the bottom team and comprehensively trashing the season.

 

Then Bolton scores and Prestia strikes with an MCG hat trick that’s every bit as spectacular as Shane Warne’s three-wicket blitz against England in 1994. Playing a hybrid forward/midfield role, he accepts handballs from Martin, Taranto and Graham before expertly finishing with three running goals in rapid succession. Dion has flicked the switch! Richmond’s turnover game is re-activated. Their forward-half efficiency is revived. They win the contested ball with a vengeance. Bolton, Martin, Taranto, Hopper and Baker engineer some Tigerish precision and the Eagles seek vainly for updrafts to stay aloft. Samson Ryan is opposed to the similarly inexperienced Bailey Williams in the ruck. Ryan provides first use for the Tiger midfielders at the stoppages and the home team is 24 points clear at the final break.

 

Taranto grubbers his second five minutes into the last quarter to take the lead out to 31 points and I allow myself to relax, convinced that the day’s job is complete.

 

After half-time a young Indian boy sits himself in front of us. His father displays little interest in the game, but has obviously ventured out to the MCG in the freezing, sub-antarctic conditions for the sake of his son, who celebrates every Richmond goal by excitedly standing and holding his outstretched yellow-and-black scarf on high. I’m glad he’s seeing the Tigers get up today and hope his father develops an interest in Aussie Rules, something they can share through the years as I have with my own son. Richmond win by 46 points.y

 

We make our way up the steps amidst the happy throng. “We’re back!” exclaims one old fan to his mate, who chuckles quietly. We all know there’s a long way back from our present position.

 

As for Taranto, Hopper and West Coast’s Tim Kelly, all three feature in their team’s best players. Selling off the farm on the basis of foolish speculation? Sometimes you need to take bold risks if you want to be successful. Whilst both Richmond and West Coast have their issues at the present time, I certainly wouldn’t blame this trio.

 

 

 

RICHMOND            1.2     5.8     10.12     15.14 (104)
WEST COAST         2.3     4.5       7.6         8.10 (58)

 

GOALS 
Richmond: Prestia 3, Bolton 3, Taranto 2, Ryan, Pickett, Miller, Martin, Hopper, Graham, Clarke
West Coast: Allen 4, Williams, West, Petruccelle, Darling

 

BEST 
Richmond: Bolton, Taranto, Martin, Hopper, Prestia, Baker
West Coast: Sheed, Kelly, Allen, Duggan, Jones

 

INJURIES 
Richmond: Nil
West Coast: Culley (knee), Allen (knee)

 

SUBSTITUTES 
Richmond: Rhyan Mansell (replaced Noah Cumberland in third quarter)
West Coast: Zane Trew (replaced Jai Culley in first quarter)

 

Crowd: 28,293 at the MCG

 

 

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