Round 8 – GWS v Collingwood: Pacify all the Piessimists (For the Floreat Pica Society by Paul McKay)


Giants v Pies

May 13th, 2017.

Spotless Stadium… The football ground that desperately needs a new name.


Going into this game I dug deep in an attempt to pacify all the Piessimists out there, and at least in my own mind, brought up all those famous interstate wins from recent memory. Our many years of bringing the local faithful to a complete & stunned silence at Football Park in Adelaide. Our string of wins at ANZ stadium. And more recently our record of never having lost to the lads in orange with the awful club song. Despite our lean year this far, surely we could find something special to leave this record intact? Yes?


It certainly started it off with the right ingredients. After two early goals to the Giants, the Pies turned it on, to slam home six unanswered goals, going into the first break with a handy lead of 26 points. Heath Shaw was being given lots of grief by our forwards. Grundy had arguably his best quarter of footy for the year and was giving big Mumford a bath. Moore was showing much more aggression at the ball and the two smalls, Elliott & Blair, both helped themselves to two goals each. The quarter finished perfectly with Sidey putting on a Daicos-like performance – a classic off-cutter, dribbling around the near goal post, to top off a very positive quarter of football.


Unfortunately the second quarter saw a gradual unravelling of our hard won gains, partly due to the efforts of the most unlikely looking footballer, the mild-mannered Clark Kent of the game, Jeremy Cameron. The Giants game plan gradually started coming together, our good disposal started coming apart, and gettable goals were being missed. Hence we went into the main break with a slender lead of one point. The inside 50s had reversed, but in our favour was two Giants down the race with concussion. As the sun set, surely the western Sydney stars would align in our favour again?


The 3rd qtr was a shootout, goal for goal for the entire quarter. The trading of goals ended in our favour with successive goals, first to Elliot at the end of Q3 and Maynard at the beginning of Q4. Surely we are going to pull this off? Clark Kent goals again and then there is a 15 minute arm wrestle until Ben Reid steps up with a long bomb, 50m goal. General Patton then copies Travis Cloke by missing a sitter earlier on and then making amends by kicking a much more difficult one from the boundary line, late in the quarter to put the Giants ahead by two points. A quick answer from our trusted perennial goal kicker (!) Brayden Maynard again and we find ourselves up by four points with five minutes on the clock. Surely we can finish the job from here? Somehow the remaining unconcussed midfielders left in the Giants battalion push the ball forward… the ball falls off the pack and into the waiting hands of the seasoned Stevie J, showing that a hint of late career spare tyre is no liability, roves it to perfection, goals, gives an extended Nordic war cry and puts the game beyond doubt with 30 seconds on the clock.



1. Not sure whether this goes against FPS protocol or not but Lynden Dunn gets my one vote. Although he had some good forwards to handle, I thought his kicking out from fullback was very good, very rarely going for the risky short pass to someone under pressure, and always going long and deep to the point of the square.

2. Alex Fasolo; got a lot of the ball, all over the ground, and ran superbly well for most of the game. If he only got on the score board as much as he did last year in around 20 we would’ve won the game.

3. Brodie Grundy; both in the air and on the ground, it was an impressive performance from our Ruckman. Normally that kind of dominance from the ruckman would mean four points in the bag but unfortunately we managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.


Some good points in the game, as pointed out by Steve, but the key thing to learn is… when you have the foot on their neck at crunch time, you cannot let it off. And how desperately did we need those four points.


Another week, another loss. But if it is any consolation… Tigers fans will have that same bitter taste in their mouth after today.


Until next week, Go Pies.


The despondent Bangkok Correspondent.

Leave a Comment