Round 8 – GWS v Adelaide: Monaros v Camrys

Earl and Ben at the '05 GF

Earl and Ben at the ’05 GF

GWS Monaros v Adelaide Crows

Sydney Showground

1410, Saturday 23 May, 2015

Camperdown to the Showground, I gotta time it properly one day, but it’s under 25 minutes by motorcycle.  Drive and you’ll spend that long getting out of the carpark.

On a motorcycle or scooter, you can flick through the traffic, dive into gaps, filter ‘tween rows of twenty cars at a red light and with a twist of the wrist, get out way ahead of the goldurned traffic.  The Monaros play football like that.

I’m not about to dub them ‘The Ducatis’ but the first twenty minutes was not unlike watching taxi-pack Camrys chasing Ducati Panigales.

The Panigale looks like the 200mph machine that it is.


The Camry looks like a taxi.


The Camrys barely got forward of the centre bounce before The Monaros kicked five goals.  Indeed, I’d barely got the fountain pen out before we’d kicked four. The pressure was astounding, Adelaide didn’t know where to look, let alone kick.  They did manage three straight in six minutes, restoring some credibility, but six goals to three at the first break aint a good look.

Ben got there before us and took a seat behind the goals at the north end, we joined him there.  A different view, last time I sat behind the goals was at the SCG in ’95 when Tony Lockett kicked his 100 th for the season, or maybe his 1000 th career goal.  I ran onto the field barefoot when he kicked the goal and got close enough to see that the last thing he wanted was a crowd.  I returned to my seat.

Will I get to run onto the field when JC kicks his 100 th for a season?

Ben made a good point, that Monaros Saturday games should start around 1630.  Sydney’s legendary traffic snarls are never worse than on Saturday, when folks who drive once a week load up the Audi/Benz/whatever 4WD and cart the kids to sport and the supermarket and womble around while looking at the back seat and yelling something like “Tarquin, don’t hit your sister!  Emily, quit sobbing!”

A 1630 start beats the worst of the traffic, the kids are done with their sport, everyone still gets home at a reasonable time.  Take note, Gillo, it’s families you want to attract to the Showground.

Second term and the Camrys kicked a couple more.  The Monaros faded a little, not running the ball as they had in the first.  They looked a little rattled, until Callan Ward kicked a captain’s goal that righted the ship.  JC kicked his first and we were three goals up at halftime.  Could’ve been four but for a bad miss right on the siren.

First blood to Eddie Betts in the second minute of the third term, then two goals to us in the next few minutes.  McCarthy took a classic mark – a quick lead, a jump, arms outstretched, hands spread, the kind of mark that is near impossible for a backman to counter.  He kicked straight.  Another to JC, a couple to the Camrys, then a brilliant low-trajectory pass to McCarthy for our eleventh.  My notes read ‘JC missed his boot’, yes, he dropped the ball and swung his leg with co-ordination not unlike mine.  Granted, it was a quick snap kinda thing and there were a lot of oppo players around him at the time.

Rose O’Dea, my favourite goal umpire, was down our end for the second half.  I tried to come up with a few chants, like “Rose O’Dea, she’s our girl, her goal line signals are a pearl.”  Pretty rough, and Perky Girl told me so.  She thought better of “Rose O’Dea, she’s no dag, you should see her wave a flag!”  Rose stands to attention most of the time, straight back, heels together, while Brodie, at the other end, tends to slouch a little.

Goal umpires have fitness tests, did you know that?  Skinfolds and everything.  Sure, they need a bit of agility, but skinfold tests would rule out Derek Kickett and Michael Long – who wouldn’t want to see those two at either end?

Adelaide threatened but we kicked three or four and pulled away.  Eight goals for the quarter.  McCarthy’s marking was excellent and Shane Mumford extraordinary all round.

Last break and the cheer squad did a lap of the ground waving big cutout ‘G’ (Gs?  Gees?) that don’t need much of a tilt to look like ‘U’, which I thought a nice, if unintentional, reference to University’s brief time in the VFL.

The last term was a bit of a fizzer, the Monaros thinking of those post-game energy drinks and the Camrys managing a few goals almost by accident.  There were at least five uncontested marks taken in our backline in the last term.  Some Camrys must have forgotten that Davis no longer plays for Adelaide.  It was sloppy play, appropriately enough.

A decent win, allasame, built on the necessary hard work that complements the natural pace and talent of the team.  During the match I told Perky Girl that I oughta give Shane Mumford votes every week.  He’s that good and that important to the team.

The Monaros aimed for 8-10 wins this season.  We’ve got six from the first eight games, we’re fourth on the ladder with a reasonable percentage of 118.7.  If, like some forms of motorsports, we were able to drop our worst result, we’d have a percentage of 139.3.

I’ve enough confidence in this season to ask Perky Girl if she wants to take a long weekend in September and ride to Melbourne if we play our first final there.

“Yeah, for sure!” she replied, with a big smile.


MONAROS   6.4   8.7  16.10  16.12 (108)
CAMRYS      3.3   5.5   9.6     12.12 (84)

Monaros: McCarthy 4, Greene 3, Cameron 2, Ward, Stewart, Smith, Shiel, Kelly, Buntine, Bugg
Camrys: Walker 4, Betts 3, Jenkins 2, Lynch, Dangerfield, Jacobs

Monaros: Mumford, Shiel, Griffen, McCarthy, Scully, Ward
Camrys: Betts, Dangerfield, Laird, Crouch, Walker

Attendance: 9,481


3 – Mumford, 2 – McCarthy, 1 – Betts


About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. Earl O'Neill says

    PS – motorcycle parking is free and as close to the gates as you can get.

Leave a Comment