Round 8 – Carlton v Collingwood: Floreat Pica Society match report by Frank Taylor

Round 8, Saturday, 11th May, 2019-05-11

Carlton v’s Collingwood, MCG, 1.45pm


I must admit I have been at a loss to crack on to a theme, if you like, for this match. A prelude, a setting of the scene, a contextual context…..


I mean, in the past, I have written a few reports dealing with the traditional rivals, and those that have read them in the past will acknowledge that I have truly and literally taken full licence from the FPS Trust Deed, Corporate Goals, Organisational Rules or whatever. Namely:


“….. reasonable abuse of opposition teams is OK if you wish to do so, with abuse of Carlton actively encouraged.”


(A Brief History FPS/ Future/Para1. Steve Fahey, 2012).


So, in the past, having rightly, honourably and consistently poured vitriol, vented my spleen so to speak on the cheating silvertails, I have to redirect my annoyance, my anger this time to the AFL and their so-called football socialist “fairness” idea when finalising the yearly draw.


No respect to tradition.


I mean, whose idea was it to only play Carlton once this year? (Let’s face it – Jeez, The Cheats are NOT going to make the finals this year again and get another crack – it’s been nearly 20 years.)


I can remember getting my fixture/fridge magnet 6 months ago, having a quick peruse, then the slow dawning, a creeping realising that: WE ONLY PLAY THE CHEATS ONCE!!!!


Those damn Corporate Types. I mean who in their right mind?????


No respect for tradition………. (or, a silvertail plot?)


For the record, since the beginnings of time, after God created man, woman and Collingwood, when, at the end of the 6th day, the very, very last thing that God created before he rested, were other teams and a competition that Collingwood could play in.


He created the VFL.


In that very competition that God created – which has grown and expanded and is now nationwide and is called the AFL – Collingwood and Carlton have played 256 times.


There has been 4 draws.


The Cheats have cheated their way to 127 wins.


The Pies have won 125 games, a deficit of 3, with 2 to equal.


We HAVE ONLY ONE MATCH this year to address this shocking state of affairs. Like the Murray/Darling situation, this is blatant corruption at the very highest echelons of the governing body!


I’m presuming that a letter of protestation in the strongest terms possible, has been sent from Pie Park to AFL headquarters to protest this state of affairs.


Aaaahhhhhh…… the flawed world of man……….


The game.


We get to the game with a few minutes to spare to be confronted with the concluding seconds of the 1979 Granny with muddy, ecstatic Blues players on the big screen after cheating their way to another flag.


A Carlton home game, of course……. The ’79 players all lining up for their team to come down the race. (The officiating goal umpire, Punt Road end, was probably in there somewhere to…)


Personally, I’m pretty confident and have tipped The Pies by a big margin. Seems that the cheer squad have to, with a fabulous banner that reads:


“Hard Times For Blues

So Pies, Let’s Be Kind

Keep Rows and Aisles Clear

At 3 Quarter Time.”


However, a quick straw poll around us and most are not so confident, Doug included.



First Quarter.


Carlton win the toss and elect to kick to the city end.


At the 5 ½ min mark we aren’t firing and Carlton are travelling better than we are, shall we say…. they hit the post early. It’s early on and Elliot has clear possession near the 50m mark and lazily kicks into the man, forward movement all looking a tad laid back to me so far.


7 ½ mins in and Stepho kicks our 1st after a perfect pass from Pendlebury and a nice mark, directly in front.


12min mark and it’s a bit of an arm wrestle Pies 1.1 and Blues 0.2. Good play mixed with poor play from both sides at the moment.


15 min mark and Jamie Elliot has been a stand-out so far – had 4 or 5 possessions so far all of which have been ineffective or turned over. Very ordinary. 17 min mark, scores still 7 to 2 no side is playing particularly clean – lots of ineffective disposals, poor decision making etc – just watch a lovely passage of play with some individual brilliance followed by a kick out on the full! Weird really.


At the 21 min mark, finally, we kick one out of the pack. Thomas. A minute later and Carlton just bulldozer/bash/paddle it forward and somehow get a boot onto it and someone kicks their first goal.


This is followed by some weird rocket emoji/thingie on the screen which I’m reliably informed is “Captain Carlton” (or Captain Blue?)……. Looks more like Astro Boy from my childhood. I had forgotten this from last year. (Perhaps it’s a blessing we only play them once this year???)


It’s 2.1 to 1.4 – 5 shots to 3. They should be in front.


The siren goes at exactly the 27 min mark, forcing Elliot to have a shot 60ms out. The resultant attempt at a torp was just that: an attempt….. no score.


3 points up, 13 to 10.


At the ¼ time break the screen is all about The Blue Store flogging 1979 retro jumpers.


Living in the past this mob.



Second Quarter.


1 ½ mins in and Grundy kicks a very nice goal, 45ms out on a 45 degree angle after an excellent pass from Mihocek on the wing.


After a nice centre clearance from De Goey, and an excellent lead and mark from Stephenson the resultant (difficult set shot) kick is rushed through for a behind. 3 mins in, 3.2 to 1.4


Set shot from De Goalie – 1 point. Running shot from Philips, another behind.10 min and Carlton gets quite a good goal after a couple of lovely passes into their forward line and a scramble in the goal square. 13 min mark and after another bit of good work, Carlton kicks another and it’s 4.3 apiece….


De Goalie kicks another point. At the 19 min and 45 sec mark, the Blues kick another, Aspro Boy does another wiz around and they are in front, 3.5 to 4.4.


10 seconds from the resulting centre bounce and Mitch McGovern is having a shot from 50 which he duly converts. While Grundy is getting the taps, they are noticeably winning the clearances. Again.


22 mins we finally win a centre clearance and Callum Brown misses a shot on goal. The resultant kick in is rebounded back to Reid who handballs over the top to a running Philips. Lovely goal.


Personally, I’m rapt that Reid can come and hit the tempo of the game with so much time out. A fair dinkum All-Australian. Thought that his game last week and continuing so far this week, was excellent, even though he missed the scoreboard. Just knows what to do and where to be. 4 points in it.


After the resulting centre bounce which Carlton cleared, we get it back and Grundy kicks his 2nd for the quarter after good vision and a lovely pass from Callum Brown.


29 min mark The Scum  have a shot on goal which hits the post as the siren goes, scores are level, 5.6 apiece.


Looking around, it’s a grey, overcast day with the football feeling the same way really, with no team getting any clear ascendancy although at times Collingwood would string a couple of goals together and look good, then it all goes pear-shaped and then it’s Carlton turn.


The ½ time stats, and, aside from the frees with Collingwood well in front (what’s that????) and the Grundy hit-outs, they are remarkably close by any other stat. 205 disposals apiece, inside 50’s, 7 and 8, tackles 24 to 28, contested possessions 78 apiece, uncontested 127 to 126, etc….. it’s even stevens.



Third Quarter.


One minute in and it’s the one-on-one clash of the 41’s with Checkers coming out on top of Casboult and kicks a beautiful goal from a set shot. Resulted from a De Goey clearance. He’s the fixer  – when we are being beaten in the centre, they put him in the middle.


He’s our go-to man.


6 mins in and McGoven kicks the answer and they are 1 point up. Two mins later and a really hard-fought passage of play transferring play from one side to another results in a classy goal to Callum Brown. Hard fought but slick all the way.


12 ½ min mark and Callum has another shot from a free but misses. 1 goal up.


Next it’s the clash of the 30’s with Curnow winning the one-on-one on Moore this time and kicking the goal.


7.7, 49 points apiece.


They kick the next to be one up – they are winning the clearances AGAIN.


They kick another after another centre clearance, fine marking and good accurate kicks on goal from 50 out. After yet another clearance and mark they look up to it so far, certainly beating us in most aspects of general play, all driven from the clearances. We’d better watch out this could get ugly.


De Goalie saves the day and after a beautiful pass and really good mark in front he converts.


WHE gets in the act – been mostly unsighted all day – kicks a lovely goal after good transitional footy up the wing and Reid, an absolutely beautiful pass with Hoskin-Elliot thumping it through from 5ms out.


9.8 apiece.


27 min mark and Mark Murphy kicks them into the lead with a nice goal. Game on.


33 mins and 44 secs and the siren goes and same amount of shots, 18 apiece, but they are 5 up – 9.9 to 10.8.


Stats are pretty much the same as ½ time – very, very even – tackles 50 each now, disposals 303 to 311, etc, with only the frees to us (?????) and ruck taps (35 to 17) ridiculously our way.


Centre clearances tell the story though 13 to 7 their way and hit outs to advantage, 17 to 11 again, their way……


So far we reckon there are a few looking down the barrel of receiving DR votes with Jamie Elliot, Josh Thomas and Will Hoskin-Elliot putting a solid claim in. I gotta say that a personal favourite, Tommy Landon, has been unsighted as well.



Last Quarter


3 1/2mins in after a lot of scrambling and good football by both sides, we set up a nice centering kick, De Goealie presents, Treloar crumbs, bang, straight through, lovely….. back in front.


A nice bit of chaos football , smashed it out of the centre, nothing really clean, on to Mihocekers, pass to Stepho in the goal square, goal. Pies back on song.


9 mins 40 and Checkers having a shot on goal which comes up short…..


121/2 min and Cripps for The Cheats kicks a ripper goal, I gotta say, a really good goal from 48ms out, running right foot kick, beautiful.11.10 Pies, 11.8 Poos.


2 mins later and it’s an umpire’s goal to the Cheats. Two 50m penalties and it’s a shot from the goal square. The 1st 50 was dodgy to say the least and the 2nd……. pulled out of nowhere! Completely and utterly sucked in….. No wonder umpires aren’t popular.


16 min in and they kick another goal simply because Collingwood aren’t concentrating at the moment. Blues 10 points up.


They kick another point and it’s 11 up.


After a bit of smart play – Crisp gets a very soft 50 (the umpires “evening” things up after their last 50m shocker) who literally runs full pelt down to the mark and keeps going, kicking it over the top of everyone where it bounces through. Smart, very smart. Beautiful goal – perfect opportunist. 5 points in it.


Another good scramble forward and Callum Brown kicks a beauty and we are back in front by 1 point. 88 to 87


29 min and de Goalie in the square kicks it out of the air on the full, through for a major!


90 seconds later, Tom Philips kicks the sealer – 3 goals reqd. for the Blues now.


At the 33min and 43 sec WHE takes a cracker in the goal square and kicks it through as the siren sounds.


Pies win – 16.10 to 13.9 – you bloody beauty!!!




The wash-up.


Well, not the result I was hoping for but a win is a win is a win…. especially, and most importantly, against The Blues.


Reminded me a bit of the 1988 match where Stephen Silvani took that hanger and everyone, EVERYONE stood and clapped. An arm wrestle all day, scores goal for goal until the last 6 or 7 mins and we kicked the last four to win, I think, by 24.





A few players mentioned earlier, although WHE did come good (a bit) and Thomas went off early in the last with a leg injury.


Also – and this would have to be front and centre for the coaching staff – how can we have the dominant ruckman by a long shot in most games and yet still get beaten in the clearances? Huh?


Looking quickly through last year’s equivalent match, Round 14, 2018, we had the same problem. Although we beat them at the end they were in it for most of the day because they roved to Grundy and beat us in the clearances.


Every game that we have lost or have been under the pump with – Geelong, The Dunnies, The Doggies, Carlton – we have at various times, sometimes all match, been flogged in the clearances. The other sides have mostly worked us out and are roving successfully to Grundy. Gotta get a better set-up somehow. And it seems to me that we really only have one certain fixer – De Goey. I’m sure that Sier is the one player that we are missing currently that might fix that, but gee it’s a worry.





Philips was mighty all day with a fair dinkum 4 quarter game.


Sidebottom was sublime with every possession, tap on, kick or handball effective and creative.


Grundy just didn’t stop and his two goals in the second quarter so important in the context of the match.


Callum Brown is getting better and better and did lots of good things.


Mr Silky just keeps on quietly being brilliant.


I thought that Brody Mihocek’s second half was just fabulous. Contested marks, good disposal and presenting at the contest was more that you could ask for and certainly factored in our eventual win.


Stephenson’s position is just where he’s playing now – as a forward. A natural.


De Goey. De Go–to man. Although he might miss out on votes, gee, where would we be without him? He is Collingwood’s Dusty. Awesome. Just needs to convert from set shots to start winning Brownlow’s.



The Peter McKenna, Mick McGuane, Mick Malthouse Medal voting (pity that Peter McKenna’s Christian name isn’t Mick…):



3votes                 Tom Philips


1vote                   Steele Sidebottom


1vote                   Brodie Grundy


1vote                   Jordan De Goey (just couldn’t leave him out)



Special mentions to Pendlebury and Brown as above.



Floreat Pica



Frank Taylor



CARLTON     1.4     5.6     10.8     13.9 (87)
COLLINGWOOD     2.1     5.6     9.9     16.10 (106)


McGovern 3, Cuningham 2, McKay 2, C.Curnow 2, Cripps, Murphy, Silvagni, Gibbons 
Collingwood: Hoskin-Elliott 2Phillips 2, De Goey 2, Brown 2, Stephenson 2, Grundy 2, Crisp, Treloar, Mihocek, Thomas


Cripps, McGovern, Murphy, Cuningham, E.Curnow,
Collingwood: Phillips, Grundy, De Goey, Brown, Sidebottom, Pendlebury, Treloar


C.Curnow (ankle)
Mayne (concussion), Thomas (ankle)


Reports: Nil


Umpires: Dalgleish, Howorth, Fleer


Official crowd: 69,289 at the MCG



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