Round 6 – Richmond v Melbourne: The Uninvited Escapee

 

 

 

 

By John Green

 

 

Back in 2016 it must have seemed to Damien Hardwick that he was stuck in prison with a life
sentence. After three consecutive elimination final defeats and mounting losses in that season the
screws were gathering around and slapping their batons in their open palms. No new contract, a
long stretch in solitary and no parole, with his name to be inscribed on the extensive list of failed
Richmond coaches.

 

But then something happened. A fellow inmate, a former high-ranking investigator from the taxation
department in his life outside the prison walls, pulled off an audacious escape. Luke Beveridge had
also inherited a chronically under-performing organisation known formerly as Footscray and more
recently as the Western Bulldogs. One solitary flag in 1954 and fourteenth position in 2014, the year
before he took the reins. And yet he declared “Why not us?” and took the Dogs to an astonishing,
unlikely premiership in 2016 that captivated the football world. And just like that, Beveridge was
over the wall and was never recaptured. He re-invented the club.

 

And so prisoner Hardwick reasoned, “If why not them, then why not us? If Bevo can do it then
maybe I can as well.” He started to plot a dramatic escape. Not through a tunnel, not over the razor
wire on top of the wall, but by helicopter. Accomplices hire a Bell Jet Ranger and compel the pilot to
hover over the prison yard. Down drops the rope ladder and Dimma rapidly ascends the lifeline
before the stunned guards have a chance to react. He clambers into the chopper and shouts “Gun
it!”

 

Then the copter lurches as the pilot attempts to rise. Another inmate has followed Dimma up the
ladder. He’s tall, bald and has a fuzzy beard.

 

“Whadda ya think ya doin’? Get out!” screams Dimma.

 

“I’m comin’ with ya!” he grins.

 

Before Dimma can remonstrate further the pilot has taken matters into his own hands and gives the
chopper the full throttle, roaring away from the walls, the electric fences and guard towers.

 

“Max,” smiles the unwanted passenger, thrusting out his hand.

 

It’s not as outlandish as it sounds. There have been a number of successful helicopter escapes from
prisons around the world, the first of them occurring in Mexico in 1971.

 

In 2003 Michel Valero and Eric Alboreo absconded from Luynes Prison in the south of France when
they were picked up by a chopper hovering over the exercise yard. They were joined unexpectantly
by fellow drug trafficker Franck Perletto, also known as ‘Lucky Luke’. He had been playing Scrabble
when he heard the sound of the helicopter and saw the rope ladder descending, so he did the
sensible thing and climbed it. He left prison that day with Valero and Alboreo. Perletto stayed with
the pair and he was still with them when they were recaptured three weeks later at a house where
they were hiding.

 

As escaped prisoners often do, Hardwick went on a spree. Three flags in four years; even better than
Beveridge’s Bulldogs. He’s never going back to gaol and is still at large. But the gang of the convict
who climbed after him has learned from Beveridge and Hardwick. “If why not them, and why not the
other mob, then why not us too?”

 

 

Melbourne hadn’t won a premiership since 1964 when they blitzed the opposition under Big Max to
bring the pennant home in 2021. Their grand final victory was over fellow escapees in the Western
Bulldogs. The Dees even used some of Richmond’s mantras, such as ‘selflessness’, ‘role players’ and
‘team pressure’. Therein lies the problem when you inspire your fellow also-rans. They use your
success as a blueprint, apply your methods with a few tweaks and attack the quest with fanatical
desire. In the meantime your crew suffers the inevitable decline that comes with increasing age and
it’s humanly impossible to sustain the hunger that led you to that elusive pinnacle on three
occasions.

 

In the first quarter Richmond apply significant pressure and take a more measured approach to
moving the ball into scoring positions. They take great care to ensure that Melbourne’s deadly
backline interceptors have no opportunity to stake out their own territory in the absence of Tiger
forwards. No rapid, chaos footy on this particular evening, but ensuring that we have numbers in
attack to make contests and deny the Demons their normal exit strategy. It’s an intense struggle
befitting a battle between the clubs that have won the last three grand finals. Richmond strike first
with goals to Bolton and Lynch. Late replies by Brown and Weideman enable Melbourne to hold a
four-point lead at quarter time.

 

In the second term Melbourne threatens to overwhelm the Tigers. They monopolise the inside 50s
but are chronically inaccurate with five straight behinds. Inaccuracy. Don’t we love it when the boot
is on the other foot? It allows Richmond to survive, and the Tigers put their whiskers in front at the
long interval with late goals to Graham, Riewoldt and Baker. It’s an unlikely three-point lead
achieved with a measure of grit and efficiency from limited forward entries.

 

In the opening minute of the third quarter Lynch seizes an errant handball from Joel Smith and drills
it. Richmond up by nine points! We’ve kicked the last four! Then the Demons make their move. It’s
their brand of suffocating pressure that gradually grinds their opponents down and asphyxiates
them. They force the Tigers into errors, win key contests and move the ball like a rampaging gang
armed with slingshots. Targets pop up everywhere and the Richmond defenders, as brave as they
have been tonight, are wilting under the onslaught. The Demons unleash a five-goal burst with the
previously unsighted Bayley Fritsch slotting two and handing off another to Christian Petracca.
Richmond are down by 21 points at the final break with the game effectively gone and they face the
prospect of a final quarter percentage buster.

 

But there is little scoring in the last stanza and the two exhausted teams go through the motions
with each other. The glory cloud has well and truly drifted across Yarra Park from Punt Road.
Melbourne wins its sixth match of the year and its thirteenth in succession if you include the run to
the premiership in 2021. They’re the pacesetters that the rest of the competition is struggling to
keep up with. Clayton Oliver had 41 touches. The Tigers had a red hot go and were served well by
Vlaustin, Broad, Short, Nankervis, Rioli and the emerging Josh Gibcus. But the truth of the matter is
that they would have lost the match by a lot more than 22 points if Melbourne had taken more of
their opportunities in front of goal. The Demons have caught up with us and left us behind.

 

After the game my son and I trod the well-worn path along with the departing fans through the park
to Jolimont station. We discuss the current state of the Tigers, necessary changes and muse on the
fates of ageing stars and youngsters who may never make the grade. We eagerly await the return of
Dusty, Grimes and Lambert to our starting line-up. It’s painfully obvious that we don’t own the town
anymore. Still, it’s nice to be on the outside and no longer confined to that gaol cell where we
languished for 37 years.

 

 

RICHMOND                             2.2       5.3       7.4       8.6 (54)
MELBOURNE                           2.6       3.12       8.19       9.22 (76)

 

GOALS  
Richmond: Lynch 2, Riewoldt 2, Baker, Bolton, Graham, Rioli
Melbourne: Weideman 3, Fritsch 2, Brown, Langdon, Petracca, Spargo

 

BEST  
Richmond: Vlastuin, Short, Graham, Prestia, Gibcus, Rioli
Melbourne: Oliver, Langdon, Neal-Bullen, Sparrow, Petracca, Weideman

 

INJURIES
Richmond: Dow (leg)
Melbourne: Dunstan (head) 

 

SUBSTITUTES
Richmond: Matthew Parker (replaced Thomson Dow in the third quarter)
Melbourne: Toby Bedford (unused)y

 

 

 

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