Round 6 – Carlton v Essendon: At the G

On Sunday without doubt, I witnessed the worst two and a half quarters of football I have ever seen.

 

And I have seen some shockers. Primary school footy matches played on a cold Friday afternoon on some windswept school oval.  A country game played on a mixture of mud and sheep dung covering the entire oval to a depth of a couple of inches at Heyfield some fifty years ago and, and, no, I can’t remember a worse game than this Essendon v Carlton fiasco.

 

It did however have its “highlights”.

 

The Carlton player who tried to hand pass to someone but the ball fell off his palm and his fist made a “fresh air” contact. An Essendon player “air kicked” a shot for goal and another Carlton player having a snap from the goal square managed a point with a miskick, but the footy knocked off the goal umpire’s cap. Both sides thought they were playing for the opposing team and picked them out with pinpoint accuracy time and time again.

 

Supporters from both sides couldn’t stop laughing as we watched this drama unfold. Every now and again the TV camera would focus on the coaches box and I couldn’t work out if they were laughing or crying as they used their hand to cover their mouths.

 

Now I’ve never been much of a footballer, but I reckon even I would have looked OK on the ground.

 

And so when the half time siren sounded, everyone breathed a sigh of relief and the players seemed more than happy to leave the ground and hide in the change rooms.

 

Now every one was sure things would pick up when play re commenced, that is if the players weren’t too embarrassed to come back on the ground. Well they did come back, but the mistakes continued for another fifteen minutes or so before a goal was kicked. I can’t remember who actually kicked the goal, but it was the first since early in the first quarter.

 

This goal seemed to spur both sides, and almost unbelievably, they started to play footy. You know, footy, when your side actually picks out players on your side, when hand passes actually go to a team mate and the footy is correctly kicked and marked cleanly.

 

Supporters stopped laughing and stated barracking and scores were close, at three quarter time the Dons had added three goals four to Carlton’s two goals two, so there was only seven points in the Blues favour.

 

The last quarter opened and the Dons scored twice and hit the front. Are we going the beat the old enemy again?

 

Unfortunately no, the Blues discovered a semblance of team work and sealed the game with late goals.

 

I then had to front up to the Carlton Four who were thirstily waiting for me at the Royal Oak. At least we laughed at both sides performance as we downed a couple of cleansing ales.

 

A truly forgettable game.