Round 5 Gather Round – Adelaide v Geelong: An open letter to Adelaide.

 

To the good people of South Australia. Or Adelaide in particular.

 

This note comes to you from the heart. My desire is to see you maintain your dignity and not drop to the depths of, say, Hawthorn supporters for example. I know a few people in Adelaide. And I love both of them, including you, Aunty Marie.

 

I watched the footy on Thursday night and suffered a momentary (very momentary) despair. The despair wasn’t because Geelong came back from 30 points down (full disclosure, I’m a Cats supporter) and won by 19 points – a 49 point turnaround, which is eight goals plus VAT in the old. Impressive – but the despair was watching the faces in the crowd. Nearly all of them.

 

Fair dinkum, I thought I was watching a football game in a zoo. Row upon row of Crows supporters, mouths open in the shape of a capital “O”, like a gathering of baboons around a carcass, hooting into the night.

 

They booed Dangerfield even when he was on the bench, but Danger has played more games at Geelong than he has at Adelaide. Poor old Citrus Bob Utber, grandfather of Lethal Paddy Dangerfield, had to wear a disguise when he went to the loo. And Paddy was never your boy anyway. He’s a Victorian western districts boy who went home. Claiming him as your own is like Carlton claiming Kernahan as a Lygon Street local. (Though Carlton has a long history of delusion).

 

You hooted at Dempsey when the umpire paid him a mark in the forward pocket. A very sound decision in my view. But he was booed because a Crows defender might possibly, allowing for the light and the earth’s tilt, might possibly have nicked the ball with the fingernail on his pinky.

 

You booed and howled at Jeremy when he blasted a goal through with his right foot, which is his wrong foot, over his shoulder from 40 metres out. It was a wonderful goal. Balletic, balanced, and significant in the context of the game. Why boo?

 

You didn’t shape your mouths like an ‘O’ and blast out any noise when two Crows got paid marks that hit the grass. Is it one hand off the ground over there? No booing when young Hinge became completely unhinged a few times across the evening. More clangers than the stock market. If there was a Harvey Wallbanger clanger award (there’s an idea?) he’d be unbackable.

 

I like Adelaide. I like South Australia. You have your wine, your beaches, and other stuff I’m sure. It would be devastating to see you end up like Richmond or Essendon or Carlton supporters! They boo the tram driver if he stops too quickly. And need I mention Collingwood? They catch the 11.54am from Montmorency for a 2.10pm game at the MCG (they don’t play anywhere else) and put their feet up on the opposite seat because it stops grandmas on their way home with the shopping from taking their space. And whilst on the train they undertake practice booing. I’ve seen hundreds of Collingwood supporters booing the train driver as they scattered for the exits at Dennis station (about 7 stops before Jolimont) like ants on cracker night. It wasn’t the driver’s fault that ticket inspectors got on!

 

Please stay nice Adelaide. Though, I gave up on Port supporters after their second game, there’s no need for you to be like them. They’ll never tear us apart? Yeah right. They might tear Kenny apart soon. Imagine being faux Collingwood? Crikey. Shoot me now.

 

Go to your churches (your city is full of them apparently) and ask that niceness be bestowed upon you. And next time Paddy is there cheer him for his magnificence. Leave the baboon routine for Port games. You can go for your life there. That is your reward on this earth.

 

 

 

 

ADELAIDE     5.3     11.6    14.10    15.10 (100)
GEELONG      4.4     9.6      13.8      18.11 (119)

 

GOALS
Adelaide: Fogarty 4, Keays 3, Walker 2, Rankine 2, Curtin, Taylor, Draper, Thilthorpe
Geelong: Dangerfield 4, Cameron 4, Close 2, Dempsey 2, Guthrie, Henry, Neale, Bowes, Holmes, Smith

 

BEST
Adelaide: Keays, Fogarty, Peatling, Rankine, Crouch, Laird
Geelong: Dangerfield, Smith, Holmes, Cameron, Atkins, O’Sullivan

 

INJURIES
Adelaide: Nil
Geelong: Nil

 

LATE CHANGES
Adelaide: Nil
Geelong: Tom Stewart (illness), replaced in selected side by Ted Clohesy

 

SUBSTITUTES
Adelaide: Zac Taylor (replaced Lachlan Sholl in the third quarter)
Geelong: Ted Clohesy (replaced Oisin Mullin in the fourth quarter)

 

Crowd: 50,073 at the Adelaide Oval

 

 

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