Round 3 Stat Declaration

by Andrew Gigacz


The wash-up from round 3 is that we have 3 teams on 3 wins and 3 teams on 3 losses. For a man who was born on 3/3 at 3:33pm weighing 3.3kg (me), that can only be described as a beautiful set of numbers. (You see, I’m not a freak of nature; just a freak of number…) In other big news on the ridiculous stats front:


  • Collingwood went down to Geelong, not only by four and a half goals, but also by four and a half beards. From what I could see on the telly, Geelong’s Max Rooke, Corey Enright, Cam Mooney and Travis Varcoe all had full beards, while Jimmy Bartel’s four-to-five day growth qualified as half a beard. On the other side of the ledger, the best the Magpies could offer was Harry O’Brien’s goatee.

  • St Kilda’s massive defeat of West Coast was brought to us by the number “5”, with the Saints scoring 5 goals in each of the first, third and final quarters, and 2 x 5 goals in the second quarter. Jason Blake took 2 x 5 marks and Lenny Hayes had 5 x 5 disposals. Justin Koschitzke kicked four goals, continuing a great start to the season for the number 23 (2 + 3 = 5). Best on ground was Clinton Jones (number 38 and yes, 8 – 3 = 5) who also had 5 x 5 possessions.

  • Meanwhile at the Gabba, Brisbane got into the round three “3” spirit, beating the Swans by 33 points. This game appears to have been brought to us by the letter “J” as the Sunday Age’s (and Almanacker) Andrew Stafford listed the 5 best players on the ground as J Drummond, J Adcock, J Brown, J Patfull and J Sherman

  • In Saturday night’s MCG blockbuster, the Blues, despite leading Essendon 5-1 in the “number of players born in January” department, fell short of the Bombers by two-thirds of a goal (112-116). Dons coach Matthew Knights must have been particularly pleased with this margin, as it would’ve allowed him to roll out the old coach’s cliché “we’re just happy with the four points” and give it two different meanings at once.

  • Adelaide and Port Adelaide, in winning their second games of the season, both attained the moderately-sought-after Round 3 “Meatloaf” status (two out of three ain’t bad). The results kept Fremantle and Melbourne winless for the season. It’s certainly not looking like a good year for 9-lettered teams ending in the letter “E”.

  • North and Hawthorn joined in the “3” spirit, with both sides scoring 9 (3 x 3) behinds, and Hawthorn winning by an even 9 (3 x 3) goals (even though 9 is not actually even).

  • The Bulldogs rounded out the long, long weekend by comfortably accounting for Richmond. The 47-point win was good but an extra goal would have made it perfect. A margin of 53 would have matched the number of days between this match and the next time these two sides meet.




With pressure building on several coaches, it needs to be pointed out (before it is no longer true) that the only currently active coach to have won more than one flag (as coach) is Mick Malthouse (who has two). The last time we had no coaches with more than two premierships under their belt was in 1973. By the end of that season, “T-shirt” Tommy Hafey had rectified that situation, coaching the Tigers to their 3rd flag under his guidance.




Not much to cheer about for Dockers and Swans fans, but at least their losing scores of 80 and 67 respectively were enough to put those two scores out in front as the most registered so far this year. After going missing for the entire 2008 season, 100, having been scored two weeks in a row, is making a claim for the title of this year’s “Glamour Score”. In both weeks it has been Brisbane achieving the score. For the Lions, this week it was a winning one, ending a run of five consecutive games in which it was a losing total.




St Kilda and the Western Bulldogs/Footscray have never squared off in a Grand Final. Until this week, they had also never managed to both win their first three games of the season in the same year. That has all changed now. For you Saints and Dogs fans out there, you’re in uncharted territory now – anything’s possible!




It’s a three-way tie for the lead in the Marginal Medal, with margins of 4, 15 and 38 all having been achieved twice. Last year’s most popular margin, 30, has not yet made an appearance.




With a 2-1 record after three rounds, Michael Voss is seen by most to be doing a good job as the new Lions leader. For Voss, filling the shoes of quadruple-premiership coach Leigh Matthews was never going to be easy. Incredibly, the letters of Michael Voss’ name actually spell out the two characteristics of “Lethal” Leigh’s that are arguably going to be the hardest to match: “HIS CALVES, MO”…



About Andrew Gigacz

Well, here we are. The Bulldogs have won a flag. What do I do now?

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