Round 22 – Hawthorn v Collingwood: (Floreat Pica Society) Stone Cold Pies Ignominiously Crushed By Hawks

Hawthorn v Collingwood

7:30pm, Thursday August 7th 2025

MCG

 

Pre-game

I left Melbourne with my partner Sandra on July 11 for an extended period in the warmth and beauty of northern Australia.  All was good in my football world when we left – the Pies sat 10 points clear on top of the ladder with many of the pundits declaring that the flag is ours to lose – do they not remember that after Round 15 last year a rampant Sydney were 12 points clear on top, Brisbane were 13th and, even more bemusingly, Essendon were fourth? It’s a long season.

Four weeks later we take on the Hawks and many of the same pundits are now claiming that Henny Penny, the sky is falling down for the Pies. Three losses out of four games certainly mean that the sky contains increasingly dark and disturbing clouds.  Notwithstanding that we are still in second place and on equal points with the Crows, there is a strong sense that this game will largely determine whether the sky is actually falling down on our top two (and possibly top four) hopes or whether the cold front is clearing and blue skies are again on the horizon.

Our 5 day break is at least partly counterbalanced by Hawthorn coming off a 6 day break and travel after a very exacting game against the Crows.  The absence of Will Day and the return of Howe and Frampton are favourable events, although I am surprised by Ed Allan’s non-inclusion, an old side on a 5 day break needs some injection of run. And of course it’s Sidey’s 350th, what a legend of the club he is and has been.

The game

I watch from my couch in Darwin in warm conditions and it looks cold on the telly ! Leading into the game, I decided I would try to focus on the positives in my report, so here goes……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

 

Yes, there was nothing.

It couldn’t have started any worse, with Howe knocked out in the first 90 seconds.  In addition to concerns for his health and future, it left us short down back, meant that JDG had to play a full game and placed Long and Mitchell in the same 22. Nick started on the bench.

Errors by the skipper and the returning Frampton gave the Hawks the first two goals to Watson and they had their tails up. The game was being played on their terms, with their quick ball movement, space left out the back of their forwards, our defenders generously assisting the Hawks’ attempts to get the ball there and our forward line again being congested and ball movement slow. Houston had a lot of it in the first quarter and JDG had some bright moments, as did Sidey.

While we hung in there until ¼ time, at the break we were minus 12 in contested possession, minus 3 in clearance and minus 34 in possessions, similar to where we were at the same time against the Lions last week.  We had been outplayed, outrun, outfought and outcoached. The fact that the first quarter was our best, at least by the scoreboard, tells you everything.

The second quarter was a debacle, to which you could add outmarked to the above list, with the multiple marks conceded on the goal line both uncharacteristic of this team and symbolic of the low in confidence and disorganised defence of recent weeks, not helped by the opposition dominating clearance. Billy (Elliott) missed a couple of shots to keep us in touch and missed and then the dam wall broke.  His drop off in form (4 goals in his last 5 games after 44 in his first 17) has been a significant factor in our decline.

The less said about the second half the better, we were humiliated by the Hawks for the third year running, after having embarrassed them ten weeks earlier. Our lack of speed around the contest in the absence of McCreery and with a half-fit JDG, was apparent and we desperately need McCreery and Hill back for their speed and forward 50 pressure. We wilted under the considerable pressure applied by the Hawks, making skill and decision-making error after error.

It was a shocking performance and a poor celebration of Sidey’s 350th – he tried hard as always and had his moments.

Reflections

Where to from here ?

The optimists will tell you that we were beaten by the Hawks in the second half of the season in our premiership years of 1990, 2010 and 2023, and the first and last of that trio of years were thrashings.  They might also add that (thanks to my brother Kevin) that with the Weagles having clenched the wooden spoon, they were also wooden spooners in 2010 and 2023.  Desperate times, desperate omens.

The pessimists will note that our recent form suggests that Henny Penny, the sky is actually falling down for the Pies.

While I’m a big believer that things are rarely as good as they seem, things are rarely as bad as they seem, things seem very bad, and the coaching staff will need to pull off a miracle to right this ship and prove the second half of this maxim. You don’t lose your talent and ability overnight, and we have plenty of that, but speed of mind and body, confidence and a return to system need to be injected.

The absence of Howe for at least next week isn’t going to help, the defence looks all at sea without him, and it would help considerably if we won more midfield ball and applied more pressure when we didn’t.

To follow on from Guy’s song choices from an earlier report, while I hope that All I Need is a Miracle, I fear Don’t Dream It’s Over because after the game I felt a lot like Bob Dylan’s lament that Today has been a sad and lonesome day.

Votes for the time-honoured Horsburgh medal  

Will be revealed at the end-of-season function.   I can’t remember a game in which it has been so hard to award best player votes, at least in the McRae era.

The Tom Phillips medal goes to the player who got the three votes.

Floreat Pica

Steve

 

HAWTHORN                3.3     10.3     14.5     17.8 (110)
COLLINGWOOD          2.3      3.6       4.9       6.10 (46)

GOALS
Hawthorn: Gunston 4, Meek 3, Chol 3, Watson 2, Worpel, Newcombe, Moore, Lewis, Dear
Collingwood: Mihocek 2, Schultz, Membrey, Lipinski, De Goey

BEST
Hawthorn: Newcombe, D’Ambrosio, Sicily, Impey, Amon
Collingwood: Pendlebury, N.Daicos, De Goey, Sidebottom, Mihocek

INJURIES
Hawthorn: Nil
Collingwood: Howe (concussion)

SUBSTITUTES
Hawthorn: Luke Breust (replaced Calsher Dear in the third quarter)
Collingwood: Ned Long (replaced Jeremy Howe in the first quarter) 

Crowd: 68,515 at the MCG

 

 

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