Round 21 – GWS v Adelaide: Junior and the Meat Tray

In this increasingly fractious world of dilemma and doubt, is there anything better for the soul than winning a meat tray?


Of course not.


About a month back some dear friends moved house. They’re in the same suburb but now are but a tranquil walk to the pub so for the previous three Fridays have invested a lazy hour to finish their week.


This experience is augmented by that lustrous concept: The Happy Hour. Their tavern runs a ripper with cheap drinks, free barbeque and a variety of prizes including that most enigmatic of trophies- the meat tray.


Around 7pm for the last three weeks our phones have pinged that they’ve won a meat tray. Last week they won two. They must be the only family in Australia to go to the pub and come home in an improved financial position. Astonishing. They’re butchering the local butcher.


I spoke with Paul last night before they headed off to their beef-themed El Dorado, to offer some pre-emptive support for that inconceivable day, when they promenade homeward, empty-handed. I’m well qualified.


Rushing out his door Paul added, “I saw young Crow Wayne Milera Junior there last week.”




Beyond loin chops, this got me thinking about a team of Juniors. Here we go-



Junior Wells                Clint Eastwood, Jr      Junior Murray[1]


Robert Downey, Jr      Junior Murvin[2]             Marlon Brando, Jr


Robert De Niro, Jr[3]     Martin Luther King, Jr Dale Earnhardt, Jr


Floyd Mayweather, Jr Sammy Davis, Jr[4]       Hayden Button, Jr


Harry Connick, Jr        JR Ewing, Jr               Teddy Whitten, Jr




JFK, Jr                         Mark Waugh[5]              Junior Seau




Ray Parker, Jr[6]           Mickey Rourke, Jr      (only two on the bench, as it should be)




I’m in our meat tray-less home ready for the Crows and Giants. Still, I could be in Canberra, bedecked in singlet and thongs.


Josh Jenkins, the Crow who’s more maligned than a mushroom schnitzel, hoofs one and goals, but the Giants respond immediately. It’s a breeze-less, crisp evening in the capital and with the apparent temperature already at -1 the Crows’ hamstrings are nervous.


Both sides trade majors. There seems to be good crowd in tonight. I guess Lucky Grills isn’t playing Mooseheads Bar this evening. Alliterative forward Harry Himmelberg sets up another score for the locals. So far, the contest is strangely subdued and even hyperventilating commentator Luke Darcy is struggling for hyperbole.


We take the lead but in the shadows of the quarter time post, to mix an arena of sporting metaphors, Tex and Eddie have amassed one possession between them. This is expressive of our season which, somehow, is arithmetically alive.


Having been curiously, if welcomely invisible, Razor Ray moves himself to centre stage and calls a ludicrous score review. His twitter followers count goes from six to four. During the break I let the dogs out and the Siberian blast makes me delighted I’m not at Manuka where I guess Zooper Dooper sales are slow.


The greatest rock ‘n’ roll band in the world dream matchup of Keath on Keeffe is yet to eventuate and the second term coasts on until Betts grabs an errant spoil and doofs it through. Before they call the police, I let the dogs back in who show their appreciation by promptly falling asleep.


As Crow Lachy Murphy glides another home I think of our meat tray friends who, I imagine, are recreating a Mongol victory feast. The Giants are bogged and lacking their brisk movement. The ball seems to be slicing prodigiously through the frosty air but then it pings out and Cameron soccers it to the good and the game remains tight.


At half-time I reflect that the match has been subdued and devoid of spectacle. But it’s close and I expect an animated finish. I wander outside and instantly detect barbecue smoke and aroma. Although half a city away, I know exactly the source of this meat tray indulgence. It’s cruel and I console myself with some more tepid eggplant dip.


Razor opens the action with an unplumbed deliberate call against Brodie Smith. As an Irish nun I once knew said, “He’s difficult to love, that Razor.” The Himmelberg disaster gets one and the Giants reclaim the advantage.


They put on three, briskly and I consider muting the telecast and turning on Sammy Davis, Jr.


In a moment that must’ve been orchestrated by a bug-eyed alien, GWS register a clear behind which is then reviewed despite it being a postcode away from the point post. Brain-freeze, methinks.


After an exuberant tackle that’s likely to allow Tex to get to Kuta early, the Crows peg one back. And then Bryce Gibbs steers it through the frozen poles to make it less than a kick. But, Hopper bursts clear and goals and it’s the locals by a couple.


Bonar grabs yet another but this time converts and there’s a canyon opening up in front of the Crows. Cameron and Keath engage in some Greco-Roman wrestling which naturally is paid against the visitor. Luke Darcy reminds us for the nineteenth time that GWS have won their last eight at this ground.


Northern Adelaide meat tray aficionado Wayne Milera Junior is again lively and evasive and this final quarter’s compelling. In what could be season-concluding Adelaide gets a trio of gettable minor scores and Shaw is taken off in the golf buggy.


Milera is then taken without the ball in a way that’s illegal even in Alabama but Razor’s pea is untroubled. Another Crow behind. The clock and our campaign are ticking away. Hopper’s score confirms what we’ve all known.


Adelaide’s (well) done and GWS are a (prime) cut above most.


GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY      4.4    6.9    11.14    15.16 (106)
ADELAIDE                                       4.3    7.7     10.9      13.14 (92)


Greater Western Sydney:
Bonar 2, Himmelberg 2, Cameron 2, Hopper 2, Coniglio 2, Lobb, Whitfield, Griffen, Shiel, Kelly

Adelaide: Jenkins 3, Murphy 2, Lynch 2, Gibbs 2, Douglas, Mackay, Betts, Walker


Greater Western Sydney:
Whitfield, Ward, Himmelberg, Lobb, Shiel, Davis

Adelaide: Smith, Sloane, Crouch, Lynch, Keath, Gibbs


Greater Western Sydney:
Matt de Boer (hamstring) replaced in selected side by Lachie Keeffe, Sam Reid (hamstring), Josh Kelly (concussion), Heath Shaw (knee)

Adelaide: Nil


Reports: Nil


Our votes– Whitfield, Ward, Smith


[1] Love a Windies ‘keeper

[2] On the strength of “How to Make Gravy”, of course

[3] Could bring some Rhys-Jones unpredictability

[4] I’m assured he could also play tall

[5] sorry

[6] He ain’t afraid of no ghost


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About Mickey Randall

No, instead I get out my Volleys, each with the inescapable hole, just by the little toe. What if someone bought a pair of Volleys and they didn’t develop these holes? The absence of holes would itself make a psychological hole.


  1. Didn’t see any of the Crows game last night. The Avenging Eagle had the last 5 minutes of the Eagles game on continuous loop. Kenny from Camperdown looks dead meat.
    Watts, Motlop, Rockliff?? Their recruiting has been offal. No heart.
    You have cornered the market on juniors. Great list.
    Golf has some great hereditary lines. With Adam Scott in contention at the US PGA Championship in St Louis, its worth honouring the 1997 champ Davis Love III (or Junior Junior as he is better known). Peter Senior?

  2. Thanks PB. I saw the final quarter of the Port and Eagles game at the West Coast’s favourite ground. It’s astonishing that your mob has won their last five against the Power here. There was a seeming inevitability in those last few seconds that reflected what had been building across the match.

    I was dwelling on the use of the suffix ‘Junior” and noted that we don’t tend to use it here too much. It does seem to be a North American practice. I also like the Roman nomenclature like Pliny the Younger which also bobs up in Scottish and English history with monikers such as William Pitt the Younger.

    Here we call folk with red hair, “Blue.”

  3. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Mickey, I’m infamous in my family for winning a meat tray and selling it to my mum. Of course, that meat tray was won at the Ingle Farm footy club, former home of Wayne Milera Jr.

    Keep an eye out for Robert Mueller III and some punk called Donald Trump Jr

    Ray Parker Jr had a bit of a stoush with Hugh Cregg III

  4. IGFC- the mighty Bulldogs. Is there a footy club using the bulldog as a mascot which doesn’t also employ the adjective “mighty’? The timid bulldogs? The mediocre bulldogs?

    Saw Hugh Anthony Cregg III in concert NYE 1991 in San Francisco. Went alright. Can’t recall any cryptic slurs on Ray that night.

    Thanks Swish. As I’m sure you’ve noted both the SANFL Dogs and Tigers are likely to have September off. As will Kapunda, having made last year’s GF. At least Kimba will play finals, but theirs is a four team competition. Bit grim all round.

  5. Luke Reynolds says

    Nice Junior team Mickey. If only J.Murray was better with the bat, had magnificent hands behind the stumps.

    All this reminds me of when Homer Simpson started his own company. “I’ll make myself Vice-President. No, wait, I’ll make myself Junior Vice-President”.

  6. Thanks Luke. There unsurpassed joy in the names of many West Indies cricketers. I imagine there’s a few folk named Junior who’ve also called their offspring Junior. I’ll have a squizz!

  7. Dave Brown says

    Superb Mickey. I must be one of the few that buys a meat tray raffle ticket at the footy club every Sunday evening in the sincere hope that I don’t win it. Thus far I am at 100% or 0% depending on how you look at it, long may it continue.

    Tom Warhurst is sort of a junior (in that his father was also Tom Warhurst (SANFL footballer and Australian Open singles quarter finalist) but his real first name was Hubert) so worthy of consideration.

  8. Thanks Dave.

    Home games at Glenelg include a 50/50 raffle with the proceeds shared by the winner and the club. Most weeks it’s around $1500 and I buy a few tickets. One of the points of engagement for our boys is me checking the total pool on the live website across the afternoon. We try to guess the current amount. And, yes, I’m also 100% or 0% in this!

  9. Mickey I wil think of you selling meat trays in the future enjoyable read

  10. Thanks for the comments Rulebook. Are you selling meat trays at the Parade? It’s been a while since I had a meat tray selling local. The first week I was in Kimba I won the pub meat tray and then four years later the now wife had the same experience!

  11. I could not believe how quickly post-match this was up on the site.

    Mickey, our cricket club runs a meat tray raffle in the Stags Head Hotel Williamstown every Friday night.
    It just so happens that I am rostered to run the raffle this week.
    “Toss the boss” is from 5pm til 6pm, a wonderful institution whereby if the punter wins the toss his drink(s) are free. In summer, when the shouts are larger, the result of that toss can mean the difference between your wallet being $40 – $50 lighter. Or not.

  12. Trucker Slim says

    Oh Mickey you’re so fine. Fantastic. Damn the game, I just wanted to keep reading your one liners. Terrific stuff, as usual. Laugh a line.

    I cannot recall ever taking the meat tray home. I can recall many times as a junior, walking through the Belmont hotel (and then the Belmont Sports and Recreation Club, when the old man went upmarket) selling tickets and luring the unsuspecting into buying five for rather than one ticket. Doing the old man proud.

    As for Juniors, where is Hank Williams Jnr (and Hank Williams the Third)? Does Justin Townes Earle get a not, him being the son of Steve?


  13. Thanks Smokie. I declared an interest in penning a report on Thursday and struggled with some context until Saturday afternoon when the meat tray thought presented itself. I was away!

    My old Kapunda haunt, the Prince of Wales used to run Toss the Boss on a Friday too, and I recall it being riotous on occasion. Good luck with the raffle this week. Hope it’s a nice earner for your club.

    Trucker- thanks. A couple years’ back we were in the Glenelg Footy Club on a Thursday and jagged a meat tray, but prior to this, it had been a long time indeed!

  14. Sorry Trucker- inadvertent hit of enter key! Agree that Hank Williams Jr is an oversight and should at least be the travelling emegency.

  15. What about Dinasour Jnr?

    And captain, Old Cody Jnr!

  16. Dinosaur Jr at Thebby in January 2017 one of my favourite gigs, Trucker. 80 minutes of incendiary guitar. J.Mascus said two words for the night and these were “Hello” and “Thanks”. Brilliant.

    In my revised team he’s on a wing: free-flowing and getting plenty of the fig.

  17. For those playing along at home: We received word Friday evening that our friends’ winning trot is now four. I asked the obvious question: are you the only ones in the pub? No, was the reply. It was a full house. And it’s one of those big, Aussie beer barns.

    With Winx extending her streak to twenty-six, I wonder what the consecutive meat tray record is?

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