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Round 16 – Geelong v Sydney: King Kieren Conquers Kardinia

For what must be centuries now, an impenetrable empire has thrived down south, in the depths of Sleepy Hollow. This empire has entrenched themselves as a most formidable foe, inhabiting the partly refurbished, partly demolished walls of Kardinia Castle. Many a tribe has attempted to breach these walls, and many a tribe has failed. However, this week, a band of brothers have rallied for the cause. This band of brothers from Botany Bay are heading south with one thing on their minds – conquering Kardinia.


These Blood Brothers are lead by the diminutive but determined King Kieren. It’ll be his 200th time joining his fellow crusaders, and messengers travelling the kingdom have ensured that what should’ve been a week of merriment for the King has been somewhat torturous as tales of family follies have reached the populace. As rumors spread from village to village, the King was busily assembling his cast of combatants to join him on this improbable expedition.


Word had travelled to Sleepy Hollow that the northerners were heading to town and reinforcements were called. Their lands have been defended time after time through an efficient and organised system that make intruders retreat at phenomenal speed. As they edged closer, the travelling tribe found themselves caught up in local disputes with a lack of knowledge of foreign tongues leading to problems of interpretation. When they had finally arrived at the gates, the inhabitants had battened down the hatches, and were ready for a battle royale.


King Kieren stormed the gates, oozing inspiration and within seconds had struck the first major blow. Sleepy Hollow had been caught unawares, and before they could suit up, The Emperor of Franklin had struck again. By the time that the Tower of Dean had joined in the carnage, the occupancy of the castle was looking as though it was under severe threat. Some dubious officiating from the local authorities had lead to a fight back from the Kardinians and the battle had now truly begun.


For an eternity, these parts have been presided over by the same feudal lord. Sir Selwood is a highly revered, highly commended figure of great stature, but there have been whisperings of an internal power struggle within the castle. Patrick, hailing from the Fields of Danger, has been leading the charge for a more aggressive approach, and it appears as though he views this battle as his time to shine. His one-man quest for supremacy is admirable, but poses more questions than answers.


The Kardinians repel the early charge, and strike some telling blows of their own. Urged on by their adoring throng, they are swift and stealth-like in their response. The Blood Brothers’ defensive unit stands firm in the face of this challenge, and Sir Dane of Rampe is holding court. Magnificently moustached, this battle-hardened Viking is performing to levels that not many had anticipated. He’s ably assisted in turning defensive prowess into surges of attack by the Balding One and the Young Nobleman wearing number fourteen on his armour. The awe-inspiring Aliir, a warrior from a foreign land, also defends his turf with poise and precision, his movements like silk.


In a somewhat risky strategy from the travellers, the young Knight Naismith has been thrust into the heat of the battle. His level of inexperience had been viewed as a weakness, but as he dominates in the fiercest sections of the castle, this potential weakness has become a soaring strength. His wholeheartedness has paved the way for the heir, Hannebery and Mr. JPK (Esquire) to cause their very own chaos. Once the Grand Prince Parker joins the fold, the first cracks become increasingly apparent in the walls of the local fortress.


As the chinks in the inhabitants’ armours become more and more obvious, the sultans of speed at the front end of the visitors’ charge take control. Swift, rapid strikes from Count Papley and Grand Duke Gazza force the Kardinians into retreat, and as the locals exit their noble abode, the castle is filled with a splash of red and white. Could it be true? Has the fortress been felled?


The Blood Brothers have conquered Kardinia.


A victorious feast ensues, as hords of northeners venture south to experience the famous triumph. An intoxicating mix of pan flutes, violins and organs provide the soundtrack of celebration, as the famed Notre Dame march is accompanied by the Blood Brothers’ very own lyrics, cheer, cheering the win. King Kieren cuts an exultant figure – rejoicing but not boastful. The Enemy are highly respected, and a return bout is certain. As his fellow travellers continue to revel in the jubilation, he embraces with the Baron, B. Jack and sets off into the sunset with his Queen by his side.


Geelong 9.6 (60)

Sydney Swans 15.8 (98)



Geelong: Hawkins 2, Menzel 2, Cockatoo, Smith, Enright, Murdoch, Dangerfield.

Sydney: Jack 3, Towers 2, Papley 2, Franklin, Mills, Jones, Hewett, Lloyd, Richards, Parker, Kennedy.



Geelong: Dangerfield, Mackie, Enright, Duncan, Selwood

Sydney: Rampe, Hannebery, Parker, Kennedy, Jack, Mills, Aliir, Mitchell.



Hosking, Meredith, McInerney.


Crowd: 24,339 at Simonds Stadium.


Our Votes:

3 – Rampe (Sydney), 2 – Jack (Sydney), 1 – Hannebery (Sydney). 

About Joe Moore

Learned the art of the drop-punt from Derek Kickett as Jamie Lawson watched on. And thus, a Swan for life. @joedmoore1979


  1. jan courtin says

    Good one Joe!!

    Now for those Hawks!

    Cheer Cheer

  2. Joe Moore says

    Thanks Jan. Sounds like you had a top weekend too. Bring on the Hawks!

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