Round 15 – Brisbane v Collingwood: Magpies and Lions and Dogs, oh my!


Ugh man, what the hell Collingwood? We started off so well. We were bursting with attacking energy and fast flowing footy – we had them chasing our dust. For a good ten minutes I was thinking, ‘WOW WHERE DID THIS COME FROM’ and, ‘I NEED MORE OF THIS FOOTY’. Where has this Collingwood been hiding?


Out of nervousness (and group disagreement over the lighting situation in the lounge room) my father-in-law sat watching the game with his sunglasses on and a pillow balancing on his head. Once Brisbane’s fifth shot at goal went awry, I turned to inform him that due to my superstition he would have to stay that way until the end of the game. Then the tide turned.


Collingwood, we went back into hiding and Brisbane took control. My father-in-law took this a as a signal to remove the sunnies and ditch the pillow which had been balancing on his head for the entire first quarter. The only other successful superstitious act for the evening was my trade-mark blanket over the head during Coxy’s set shot.


Having suffered a corky about a minute into the game, I kept one eye on my favourite player in Brayden Maynard, trying to suss out the extent of the damage. It was then, after frustration had reached its peak, when an off-camera incident between Noble and Robinson caused the inner bull in Brayden to unleash. One minute I’m looking down at my Twitter feed and the next I see an angry blur charge into Robinson knocking him down into ground and then happily taking on a group of about 6 on-comers as a result.


Look, basically Maynard gives no effs and I LOVE him for it. I want to be like Brayden when I grow up. He does not care who you are, how many of you there are, if you piss him off just be prepared to get bulldozed. Watching him stand up for his team-mate like that – I just want to put his face on a t-shirt and wear it everywhere. Every week I think that I can’t love the kid any more than I do, and then he proves me wrong and I’m like just ‘OH MY GOSH – I LOVE THIS KID!’


I took this love to Twitter, naturally tweeting:

“I FKN LOVE YOU @brayden_maynard”, with the video I’d caught on my phone of the bulldoze. A few hours after the game I received a reply to the above from a random nobody sad excuse for a company in Brisbane account saying:

“Suppose dogs do love other dogs.”

Um excuse me, oh hell no. Not only did this person try to come for me but worse they try and come for one of my boys, specifically Maynard – yeah, I’m not letting this slide, this is unacceptable, you’ve crossed a line.


Who even tweets like that from a company account?


I wait a few minutes to process how to best reply, because as the Duchess I like to stay sassy, classy and a little bad assy. I don’t want to overreact and look like an idiot like this person did so I simply reply to them with:

“Woof Woof (smirking emoji) (tongue out emoji)”


This person clearly doesn’t know how much Maynard LOVES dogs, it’s a bit ironic that something sent to me as an insult technically isn’t. Makes you wonder, getting such a reply from a random (after the game, which your team won, stupid!) what type of reply I would have gotten if I had said something even slightly negative about a Brisbane player. (Which I know better than to do – as you would have seen in one of my previous pieces about social media and its effect on AFL players) but its okay for this person to call Maynard (and then me) a dog.


Scrolling down their profile (I couldn’t help myself and had to do some digging) I notice this person, though giving off a man vibe, has ‘Karen’ like tendencies, one tweet regarding the Maynard bulldoze reading:

“AFL need to ask Director of Umpiring why there was no action. Will be calling them on Monday. Umpires have a duty of care under the Queensland work-place laws that was not provided. We know how incompetent Dean Margetts is, but Brett is a surprise. #brownpaperbags again????”


UMM… you’ll be calling the Director of Umpiring on Monday? Nice to know you’ve got that much spare time and such important contact numbers on your hands. *rolls eyes*


Most players (including Maynard) don’t act like that unprovoked – he was defending a team-mate or even himself from Robinson, who is a specialist at chit-chat. He’ll shake hands after the game like a gent but still he knows what to say and do to push buttons out there – everybody knows that. He is just as tough and has probably gotten into/started a lot more fights than Maynard; Robinson is no teddy bear!


I guess logic really isn’t some peoples strong suit, I’ll just woof my way outta this one. In the end our come back was left too late and we lost the game by 8 points. There were definitely a few tipping points where we just couldn’t take back control and the lead.


We’re not completely done yet.



BRISBANE                   0.2      5.3      6.5      6.6 (42)
COLLINGWOOD        1.1      2.3      3.3      5.4 (34)


Hipwood 2, Berry, Lyons, McCluggage, Rayner

Collingwood: Cox 2, Brown, Elliott, Mihocek


Lyons, Berry, McInerney, McCluggage, Gardiner, Neale

Collingwood: Pendlebury, Noble, Maynard, Crisp, Adams, Daicos



Brisbane: Fullarton (quad), Andrews (hamstring)

Collingwood: Phillips (hamstring)



3 – J. Berry (Brisbane)

2 – S. Pendlebury (Collingwood)

1 – B. Maynard (Collingwood)



To read more from Danielle, click HERE


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About Danielle Hakim

A passionate 28 year old Collingwood supporter who fangirls like a 16 year old at heart. Chased down and yelled "I love you" at a startled Brodie Grundy in 2018 after the Semi-final loss. Danced down the stairs with a Collingwood scarf one time to a De Goey song and the video went viral.


  1. Luke Reynolds says

    We’re not completely done yet, but badly missing the polish of Sidebottom, Howe and De Goey and the midfield grunt of Treloar.

    Well played with the troll Danni, stay sassy, classy and a little bad assy!

  2. Danielle Hakim says

    Thanks Luke!
    Haha yes, in the cyber world not everyone is as nice as us hey?

    I can’t wait to get Jordy back. I miss the fangirling!

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