Saturday afternoon before the game
At 5:00 PM on Friday, 23 May I receive a call from a good friend, Michael. Did I want to come and watch his brother Ash play local footy for the Maldon Bombers out in a town called Navarre on Saturday afternoon. Should be a cracking afternoon, he said, the footy out west always being a spectacle – the country boys out there don’t muck around. Would we be back in time for the Pies game on Saturday evening, I asked, this week’s match report and a gnawing desire to claim this week’s four points weighing on my mind. Not only was I on MR duty and planning on watching the game with mum but I was well aware that I had been unable to watch two games thus far this year, being Opening Round and Election Round. Both losses. There could be no missing the Pies on account of a late return. Not to worry, I was assured. I would be whisked back to Melbourne and firmly ensconced at the Railway Hotel South Melbourne in time for the first bounce.
A lovely afternoon in the environs of St. Arnaud ensued. Ash copped a heavy knock to the eye but was playing well despite the Bombers looking to be hard pressed a far superior Navarre side. Harsh words and expletives in the half time huddle. Sausages were munched and beers sipped. Navarre began to kick away in the third. In a Bunnings somewhere in Melbourne, Oleg Markov missed and then returned a call from Fly asking if he could play this afternoon to cover the late withdrawal of Bobby Hill. Navarre’s lead blew out to 41 points and the game was done. Ash was comfortably best on ground for Maldon but his left eye looked like a plum. The sun began to set. The game had started 90 minutes later than Michael had intimated, numerous blood rules had extended the game time and Ash was still in the showers. Still though, with pace and intent and a dash of dare I had little doubt of arriving back in time for the toss of the coin.
I should emphasise at this point that punctuality or indeed a fundamental grasp of the concept of time is not something that has ever been ingrained in the mind of Michael or indeed his older brother Ash. The journey home halted at Avoca for a brief pub pit stop that then led to a desire for dinner. Takeaway meals were obtained and the clock was well and truly ticking. A message to mum was sent – I think quarter time is more realistic. A pledge was made for 774 grandstand AFL in the car at max volume as soon as the game began. Then Ash mentioned that we were almost out of fuel. A frantic 25 kilometres into Ballarat ensued at the optimal fuel efficient speed of 80 km/h with not too many revs. The Subaru SUV continued to guzzle the last drops of petroleum. We spluttered into the first petrol station in Ballarat with nothing left as the ball was bounced at Marvel. I messaged Mum – half time was my best shot.
From the radio broadcast amidst the chaos planning of what to do if the fuel ran out I had gleaned that Pendles and Bobby Hill were both late outs. They joined Darcy Moore, Shooter, Sidey (rested), JDG and McStay on the sidelines. Will Hayes was already set to debut and Markov had been brought in as a late Bunnings call-up alongside Will Parker. My anxiety about the game increased, nervous as I was about North’s form both recent (drawing with the Lions and eking out a win against the Tiges in recent weeks) and historic (they having fought hard against us in recent years, each of the 2022, 2023 and 2024 match ups against them being far from the easy kills that they had offered up to other sides over that time). As the petrol flowed from the bowser like a cooling tonic and I struggled to make sense of what was happening beneath the roof, I remembered with a sinking feeling that we had lost whenever I had been unable to watch us play this year. I knew in my belly that until I reached the television screen things were unlikely to go our way. As we pulled out of the petrol station the commentators declared that Maynard had been subbed out of the game.
First quarter
From the radio call I gathered that the scores were level at this stage at 1.2 apiece (later verified as goals to each of Membrey for the Pies and Xerri for North). Numerous Collingwood behinds ensued as the rest of the quarter descended into a tussle in which we seemed to be struggling to make much headway before McCreery delivered to Elliot on the cusp of quarter time. Jamie lined up and slotted his first after the siren. Collingwood 2.5 (17) led North 1.3 (9).
Second quarter
As Elliot goaled we left the highway for another detour. Ash had insisted over my protests that we stop in at his favourite pub in the township of Gordon, to which I acceded provided that we were back in the car by the time the ball was bounced to start the second term. Four conversations about Ash’s black eye and a pot of beer consumed, within 3 minutes and 11 seconds later and we were back in the car as the second quarter got underway. 91.7 kilometres to South Melbourne.
Not long after the proceedings resumed, Caleb Daniel delivered to Larkey who duly converted to put North within 2 points. A minute later Sullivan pegged one back for us through a snap from within more traffic than I hoped we were going to encounter coming back into Melbourne (touch Colling-Wood). Almost immediately the football gods decreed that Cam Zurhaar was going to have that sort of a night and directed the football to defy the laws of physics and bounce through half a dozen players for a quick North reply. An arm wrestle of a contest resumed and from the radio broadcast it seemed that North were having more of the run of play, with many more Kangaroo names being called. Despite this, after a few minutes a forward 50 entry set up a passage of play that ended with Elliot drilling his second major from close range to put us 7 points up. Yet again however, North responded immediately with a bouncing dribbler and it was back to the slenderest of margins.
From here things started to get a bit more dicey. A slim lead was maintained for the next 6 – 7 minutes of play but again, it was North getting most of the ball and very few Collingwood names being called. Frampton seemed to be doing very effective work down back but the amount of defending was becoming a concern. As we passed Bacchus Marsh the Kangas scored another goal through Simpkin and (justifiably, it seemed) took the lead. The commentators declared Checkers had gone down to the rooms. North goaled again. Elliot missed everything after the half time siren. I’d be at the pub just after the start of the third term, I told Mum. Collingwood trailed North 4.9 (33) to 6.6. (42) and there were 35 kilometres still to go.
At half time the commentary team were full of praise for North. They had the game on their terms, having taken 39 marks to 9 in the second term and 71 overall (including 27 uncontested) to our 27. We had managed a total of 22 inside 50s for the game, and Naicos had apparently screamed for the ball on numerous occasions in the second term without getting much love from his teammates. Jaicos and Frampton appeared to be our best performers thus far, both in the back half of the ground. Crisp had managed only 3 touches. Bobby Hill’s absence was noted several times. Was that the flicker of a boilover looming in the distance, or was it the West Gate Bridge?
Third quarter
By the start of the third the Subaru was on the home stretch of its odyssey, passing safely beneath the Montague Street overpass and onwards to the waiting television broadcast. Checkers kicked an early goal from a free kick and I farewelled Michael and Ash with a smile, a laugh and a reminder to never trust either of them with anything remotely important in my life ever again (bless them both). Into the pub I walked and Elliot curled through a brilliant goal from the pocket (his third) to give us back the lead. Mum arrived, Elliot roved and weaved and snapped his fourth and it looked like we were finally clicking into gear. But North kicked one back, then another through Zurhaar (after a ripping mark) and suddenly we had surrendered the lead. Mum insisted (rightly) that we move seats so as to not be positioned behind a couple of North fans. Behind the lucky table we sat and Sullivan managed to equalize with a behind, followed by another from a running Howe to give us back the lead. Yet another behind followed from a promising forward 50 entry and I realized we have scored 7.15 – will we come to rue these missed chances?
Two more behinds (through Checkers and Membrey, the latter following a real let off after IQ gets pinged) leave us at 7.17 (59) leading North 8.8 (56) at three quarter time. The game feels more on our terms but a three point buffer seems a scant reward for effort, and North continue to press. I reassure myself with the fact that the car trip is over.
Fourth quarter
North do the early attacking in the last term, but our first real foray forwards results in Elliot kicking his fifth goal. What a contributor he has been tonight when we have needed a spark up forward, particularly given Hill’s absence. Debutant Will Hayes wins a free kick for holding the ball for not the first time this evening and delivers a pass to Naicos, who hits up Crisp inside 50. These two are starting to warm up in a big way this quarter and Crisp registers another major. Membrey then takes a great mark from a centre clearance (courtesy of Long and Crisp) and executes a brilliant set shot from the pocket to extend the lead to 21 points. Another clearance from the middle delivers to Crisp who again delivers the ball inside 50, this time to Markov. Cue the running man/baby celebration from the Bunnings Belorussian as he kicks what must be his first goal in the black and white from the left pocket and the lead is up to 28 points. Perryman nails another major (dished to him by Long) and the scoreboard is ticking over beautifully now with the Pies up to a 34 point lead. A strong mark from Cox sends it our way again and Lipinski finds Checkers inside 50, who almost overcomplicates things with a wayward kick to WHE who pokes it through for another.
Suddenly down by 40 points, North manage a behind and then a goal through Zurhaar to peg things back somewhat before Membrey responds with another set shot conversion. Checkers then gives us the cherry on top as he makes up for an earlier missed opportunity at ground level and the Pies are runaway 45 point winners. I finish my Pinot, give Mum a hug and thank the gods that I was able to get in front of a television screen not too long into the third quarter.
Final thoughts
There are lots of positives to take from this game, despite North’s lowly ladder position. They have brought real fight and endeavour in their recent clashes against us and the first half of this game in particular was no exception. They dominated the possession count and much of the play and we had to dig deep, find some energy and show some dare in the absence of numerous marquee players (including the loss of Maynard in the first term). It was more than pleasing to see the likes of Hayes, Allen, Parker and Long contribute to varying degrees. North clearly fell away in the final term but to our credit, we hung in there in the first half when the game wasn’t on our terms and began to grind things our way in the second half. The fourth term blitz was really reward from effort after a wasteful (3.8) third term.
Some other observations:
- Ned Long continued what I’ve seen described as his AFL ‘renaissance’ with 29 disposals, 14 tackles and a mammoth 15 score involvements. In reality however, with hardly a look in during his Hawthorn days Long is more reflective of the youthful exuberance of Classical Greece in its early golden years, with the pluck and the dare that comes with the first flush of civilizational greatness. If anyone is enjoying a football renaissance I would say it is Sidey, who hopefully returns for us next week.
- Acting captain Naicos came out of the main break on an absolute mission after only 10 touches in the first half to finish with 38 disposals (17 of which came in the final term). He combined with an excellent Jaicos who stood up in particular in the first half when we needed some poise off half back. The Daicii brothers combined for 69 touches in another phenomenal dual outing.
- Elliot’s purple patch of form continues after another 5 majors, with his current goal tally sitting at 28 as we approach the midway point of the season. He is one of my absolute favourite players and I’ve had so much joy seeing the way he’s played and quietly enjoyed his football these last few years.
- Also a shout out to Membrey who nailed some great goals, along with Markov’s incredible effort after a late call up.
- Was really impressed with Frampton’s game – only the 8 touches but 5 crucial intercept possessions, numerous spoils and contributed to a team defence that held Larkey to only the single goal.
- Let’s hope Maynard’s plantar fascia issue isn’t too glaring. He will be sorely missed if he can’t pull up over the next few weeks.
- This was Collingwood’s first win without both Pendles and Sidey playing in the team since Round 13, 2009. Demonstrative of the incredible durability and contribution of both players over almost an exactly 16 year period. As good as it was to blood some youth tonight, let’s hope we don’t have to win without either of the champs again this year.
- Perhaps Carlton should be the curtain raiser for Collingwood matches more often? The Blues losing in a matinee performance before the main event of a Collingwood victory has more than the right sort of feeling about it.
Next up, we face the Bogey team for the first time this season. Hawthorn are coming off a comprehensive loss against Brisbane and will no doubt be hungry to rebound against us. We will need to be at the absolute top of our game to beat them. I’ll be interstate for the match but don’t worry, I’ll be firmly planted in front of a TV and won’t be driving anywhere.
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Cracking “road trip” report. Loved it.