Red, white and black to the core, but a lusty Dusty I can’t ignore

Red, white and black to the core, but a lusty Dusty I can’t ignore.
By Jennifer Muirden
 

Strip back a couple of layers of my skin and underneath you’ll find a tricolour canvas of Red, White and Black endemic of a Saints-centric. Yet while I am a one-eyed Saints supporter I have always been a keen observer of watching skilled footballers across all the AFL competition, not to mention remote interstate clubs. Indeed, there are a number of footballers playing for opposition clubs who I get a thrill out of watching and make a point of tuning into matches, other than the Saints games, just to ‘get my fix’. Footballers I love to watch include (but are certainly not restricted to) Cyril Rioli, Eddie Betts, Travis Varcoe, Patrick Dangerfield, Adam Goodes, Gary Ablett, Nat Fyfe, Ryan Crowley, Luke Dahlhaus, Jake Stringer, Dyson Heppell, Nic Naitanui, Marc LeCras, Matthew White, Jamie Elliott, Robbie Gray, Travis Boak, Robert Murphy, Nathan Jones, Drew Petrie, Brent Harvey and Majak Daw.

Then, from my second favourite team, Richmond midfielders Steven Morris, Bachar Houli, Brett Deledio and Dustin Martin are such footballers whom I love to watch play – the latter two have the added advantage of being incredibly easy on the eye! In light of the recent Chris Gayle gaffe, I do hope obsessive politically correct readers will not construe this as reverse sexism on my part. I like to admire from afar and do not interfere with them as they engage in their professional field.

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Courtesy The Age

Aside from Dusty’s obvious football prowess, I will admit to being very much attracted to his sharp featured face complete with defined jawline, prominent cheekbones, deeply set eyes and full lips. In fact, even though I am not a fan of tattoos, even his neck tattoos don’t offend me as it is indicative of his commitment to his traditional Maori heritage.

With all this said, I feel Dustin’s alleged ‘threatening with chopstick’ incident at the end of 2015 into which the police elected to dismiss their criminal investigation, warrants a harsher punishment than a $5000 breach of player fine by Richmond Football Club given both his priors and seniority in the team. A few weeks playing ban, along with a more substantial fine would be more than appropriate to indicate that his behaviour was unacceptable and will no longer be tolerated. In other words, I think somewhere along the lines of how St Kilda sanctioned Jake Carlisle would be appropriate.

Regretfully Dustin Martin just seems to keep slipping up and making unwise choices off the field. Perhaps he has adopted the same attitude as British Musician Dusty Springfield whose quote below may provide a suitable explanation for his questionable behaviour.

“A lot of people say I’m bent, and I’ve heard it so many times that I’ve almost learned to accept it.”

    -DUSTY SPRINGFIELD

Watch out Dustin for according to Chinese culture, and for the Tetraphobes out there, you are wearing what may be considered the unlucky death No. 4 guernsey! So young Dusty, you want to make sure that you are not getting rusty for as it turns out the No. 4 guernsey is the only guernsey to be worn in all 10 of Richmond’s premierships and, if you play your cards right, you may just play in their eleventh Premiership.

A final word of warning that I would like to convey is as follows:

Dear Dusty, I adore watching you play footy but if you continue down the same rickety road you will find yourself in the gutter and no longer a part of the esteemed AFL fraternity. You are a wonderful player and all we want to do is see you play great footy. In light of the recent sad passing of David (Jones) Bowie I have written a song for you to express how I, and most diehard Richmond supporters, feel.

 

Let’s Spend The Night Together – David Bowie

(From ‘Aladdin Sane,1973 – originally released by the Rolling Stones in early 1967)

 

Well, we worry about what’s been on your mind
The Tiges are in a hurry
Don’t you think it’s time
You pulled in your head
Instead of acting like a blockhead
Our heads are red
Our tongues are getting tired
Straighten up and stop the behaviour we decry
Time to reach for the sky!

[CHORUS]

Dusty get your act together
Now Tiges need you more than ever
Must get yourself together now

The feeling is strong
That you can’t deny, oh Dusty
You were right to apologise, yes
Tiges won’t hang you up, but don’t let them down
Richmond could be Premiers so stop fooling around, and acting the clown

[CHORUS]

Dusty get your act together
Now Tiges need you more than ever
Must get yourself together now

Oh, you know we’re sighing baby
You need some guiding baby
Want you presiding baby

[CHORUS]

Dusty get your act together
Now Tiges need you more than ever
Must get yourself together now

You do not act up every day
In your Richmond guernsey anyway, hey?
A Premiership could satisfy your every need
I’ll know you playing in one will satisfy me, oh try-try-try try-try

Dusty get your act together
Now Tiges need you more than ever
Your time to grow up is now or never
Now Tiges need you more than ever

Dusty get your act together
No longer that young
To handle with kid glove
You are a gun
But our love
You need to be worthy of
Needs to be earned
Comes from above
Do it!
Make us proud
Go!

[CHORUS]

Dusty get your act together
Now Tiges need you more than ever
Must get yourself together now

If the Rolling Stones and David Bowie classic tune is not enough to get through to you ‘lusty Dusty’ here’s a wee ditty that may be more up your alley.

 

Last Chance Dusty

Sung to the tune of “Last Chance” from Jet’s Get Born album (2003)

You ain’t nothing to Richmond even though you can play
If you don’t know what continues to lead you astray

Last chance Dusty
Last chance Dusty
This is your last chance Dusty
Last chance Dusty
This is your last chance

You ain’t stable as a tree, so keep your behaviour in check
A Tiges Premiership is something that you may never get
So come on!

Last chance Dusty
Last chance Dusty
This is your last chance Dusty
Last chance Dusty
This is your last chance

About Jennifer Muirden

Jennifer Muirden has been a keen St Kilda supporter since 1978 and fondly remembers her childhood Saturdays spent at Linton Street, Moorabbin. In her lifetime she hopes to experience the Saints second Premiership.

Comments

  1. Richard Smith says

    Hi Jennifer, send these in to Greg Champion (Coodabean Champions ABC Local Radio Sat Morning in the footy season) and be might sing it on the radio and post the song on soundcloud.
    champs [at] gregchampion.com.au

  2. It’s never too early – or too late – in the year for footy songs, Jen.

  3. Peter Flynn says

    I love Bowies Cover.

    An interesting read Jen.

    PF

  4. Jennifer Muirden says

    Richard, thank you for your thoughtful advice all the way from Ontario! Champs was a fellow radio colleague of mine and I have already tried going down that track to no avail.

    Hey Smokie, as a fellow music lover pleased to hear that you are always up for a reworked ditty no matter what time of year ; )

    Thanks, Peter glad you enjoyed the Bowie/Dusty tribute!

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