Planning and process: a short reflection on the Dudley Street Footy Trip 2014 example

Controversy has erupted in the normal quiet Brisbane suburb of Bardon over the selection of seeing a local footy game on Saturday afternoon as opposed to the match of the round between Hawthorn and Collingwood at the MCG on the annual Dudley Street  footy trip.


Football Attorney General, Bill “Scott Cam” Ellis has come under fire over the decision from all sides, with the Mayor of Dudley Street, Adrian Bell describing the decision as “fucked”.


Mayor Bell Stated that “Besides the USA for Christmas, Italy in May, regular overseas trips for work and weekends at Noosa, I rarely have the chance to relax, and when I do, Bill goes and ruins it for me! We need to understand that this is a footy trip, and we need to respect that, as well as the drinking, eating, punting, shopping and just general lounging about”


Ellis denies that he didn’t consult widely when making the call. He said ” I found out what Adrian wanted to do and did the opposite. It makes the weekend more fun that way”


President of the Standing at the Bar Association, Jeff “Bean Counter” Sims has resigned over the process of the selection. He said “I told Bill I didn’t care what we did on Saturday. That was a confidential conversation which he relayed to Adrian. Now I have to hear Belly aching about it for the next 20 years!”

He went on to say that “As a CFO, I always respect the process. When the Operations guys give me a capex request in the wrong font or on incorrect paper size I reject it out of hand! They need to respect the process and so does Bill!” He went on to say that “Seeing a club game will give me a chance to show off my encyclopaedic knowledge of irrelevant sporting facts. By Saturday I will know all players from both sides, average tackles, possessions and so on” No one else from the trip is aware of which teams are playing at this stage.


Peter ” Arthur Scargill” Lewindon offered a terse “no comment” prior to being asked about the decision. Understandably reluctant to enter the fray after his time in the industrial trenches against Queensland Health, Lewindon has volunteered to work over the weekend to try and remove the big, black marks on his employee folder with the State Government. When prodded he advised “I think the game of footy on Saturday will be wonderful, and Bill has my complete support” although he denies he was forced to say this by Ellis.

Lewindon also denied that he was avoiding controversy to preserve tax payer funded jaunts such as his recent convention in Israel. “Yes it is taxpayer funded and yes it is a jaunt but it isn’t a taxpayer funded jaunt per se”. He also denied that the trip was a way to get closer to the Mayor Adrian Bell. “Adrian is Jewish?” he said incredulously. “I know he likes Larry David but I have never seen him near a synagogue, he eats shellfish and his lycra bike shorts don’t leave much to the imagination – I don’t even think he is circumcised!”

Lewindon plans to spend Saturday afternoon at the Pineapple Hotel with his comrades listening to Billy Bragg songs.


Chris “Aged Carer” Jury weighed into the debate with “I would rather take my mother in law to Maleficient for a third time than stand around drinking beer on a Saturday afternoon in Melbourne watching club footy with my mates” although as he was weeping uncontrollably at the time. The veracity of his claim may be disputed.


Last word on the controversy goes to Mayor Bell ” I cannot believe how fucking fucked this is. You can all get fucked. Fuck Bill and fuck his Koalas. I am going to ask him about his renovations all weekend now”.


Final last word went to Bell ” Fuck everybody. I am going to organise my own footy trip next year and none of you fuckers are coming. Get fucked”


Bell then promptly fell asleep.



Source AAPT (C. Jury)


  1. This is actually a comment intercepted by the Almanac from Jeff Sims:

    Here goes.

    Great work from the Aged Carer but in my role as the Statler to his Waldorf I feel I should reply and an upfront apology to all – I was working yesterday.

    My role as CFO essentially has 2 key areas. Firstly, to constantly remind Operations people that Capex is a privilege, not a right, and that font and paper sizes are important. Secondly, it’s also about trying to keep EVERYBODY happy in any situation. This also guarantees my own personal misery in most cases.

    Having said that, I have come up with the following proposal to keep everybody happy during the upcoming footy weekend.

    To keep the Mayor in good spirits I have arranged for the Collingwood vs Hawthorn game to be transferred from the MCG to the inside of Flemington racetrack on Saturday afternoon. The surface inside the track needs some work but we have time. Eddie Maguire was most helpful “I hear Mayor Bell runs Dudley St much the same way as I run Collingwood. Any idiot who has a valid point of difference with me and I will simply ignore the argument and attack them personally. Demetriou thinks he started it but check out my record. I like Adrian’s work and will be happy to help. We will even wear our away strip.”

    The Attorney General Ellis will be placated by Uni Blues playing the curtain raiser against Fitzroy at the Flemington track. Their gun midfielder Peter Summers (Best on Ground in their last start 34 point win over Ajax) was equally enthusiastic. “My uncle was recently in Brisbane and did a bit of work on the renovation of an old Queenslander. He reckoned the owner had more money than sense and was married to a Lawyer. My uncle has since retired from the proceeds of that job and feels that our family should give something back to the Ellis family – so count the top of the table Uni Blues in !!”

    Don’t think the Aged Carer has been forgotten. The VRC have kindly offered to violate all existing copyrights laws and play Maleficient on the big screen in a continuous loop in a last ditch effort to get Jury along. Understandably, no VRC official was available for comment. It is considered best that, as with all attendees, the leave pass in negotiate privately.

    To matters of Arthur Scargill. I have spoken, albeit reluctantly, to the Deputy DG of Qld Health. The reluctance was mine not his. “I haven’t seen Lewindon in ages. Did he sign on ?? I just hope his placard waving days are behind him. It may not be of interest to him but Qld Health have a corporate marquee at Flemington and this weekend we were hoping to launch the details of our 2015 Paediatric Medicine Conference to all staff. We are off to the Maldives next year, as it has proven to be a world centre for development of this cutting edge technology and research. See if that gets him along, although we are not calling it a junket per se”

    As a final incentive for the Dictator of Dudley St, Billy Bragg was very hard to track down last night but I got him. He has kindly offered to do the half time entertainment at Flemington during the main game. He does have some concerns though. “Look don’t get me wrong. If it helps get Comrade Bell along, I’m in. However, I did do a gig earlier this year at The Tivoli in Brisbane which still has me worried. The whole crowd were over 50 and either teachers or worked in Human Resources and spent their time between sets ordering 5/8th full triple strength ristrettos and talking about the Noosa property market. I feel like I am losing touch with my core fan base so the Flemington gig should be a positive. Handyman Blues will bring the house down. The Cayman Island account is still active.”

    For your consideration.

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