Pies psychology barrier broken by high pitched squealing

When the Pies face the Cats, you always know it’s going to be a ripper.

There are a few similarities between there two great teams.

They both have stripes, they are both playing very well at the moment, they have the superstar ‘untagables’ in Gazza and Swanny and according to Tom Harley; Collingwood is ominously reminiscent of the Geelong team he led to the flag in 2007.’

Then you look at their supporters; take Geelong supporter Susie G and my Black and White self as the example.

We are both born in May.

We have the same star sign, Taurus.

We both have birthmarks.

We both have scars from fruit cutting incidents.

Both our middle names start with ‘J’ hers being Jane and mine being Joanne.

We both have some sort of lovey link to Steele.

We both abuse the use of smiles in comments and on msn.

So there is a lot to love about these teams and the fact that they are ready to rumble.

Another reason why I treasure Collingwood Vs Geelong matches is because it brings back memories of my year seven homeroom teacher, who goes for Geelong and left the school when I was in year eight.

He was one of those teachers who was also a friend and got along with everybody.

Chris (as I have been asked to call him now, still feels weird though) was clued in to my Cameron Cloke obsession in year 7. At the time I was convinced that I was going to marry the blonde, baby faced number 33 and Chris seemed supportive enough, Lol.

Cameron Cloke pictures covered my school diary and the inside of my locker. I even used to write MRS.CLOKE as my name on class worksheets.

Whenever Collingwood lost to Geelong or in general, I knew I was going to cop a bagging in morning homeroom, it was just tradition.

Thinking back I was such a tomboy back then.

After Chris left in year eight, the same year that Chris Tarrant was traded for Medders, I felt like I had lost my footy buddy, it wasn’t until a few years later that I started talking about footy with teachers again.

These days it’s hi-fives with Mr. Hogan, who always stops by to swap opinions on how well our Pies played. More bagging from my homeroom teacher Mr.Rawley, who hasn’t had much to bag lately and quick chats to Mr.Starkie, although I tend not to approach him and stick to a small wave if North get smashed, LOL.

As the Pies v Cats match and graduation approaches, I email Chris an invitation to our graduation mass, all his year 7C girls of 2005 are so excited to have him there to see us graduate, and I also add a small good luck note for the match.

Turns out the Cats actually needed more luck than I thought.

Shazza Wellingham drills the first goal of the match and Stokes replies for Geelong.

The Cats turn the footy over and Beamsy makes them pay.

Travis DOESN’T miss one RIGHT in front after a strong grab.

Cloke Senior doesn’t even slightly wince or flinch when Travis pulls his next shot.

Pods comes in right on time to stroll in for his first.

“AHHHHH DIDAKKKKKKKKKK!!!” gets to his place and runs in for a goal.

Shazza continues his trend to kick the first of the quarter and his second of the night.

Lee-Lee Brown threads one to get a reaction of squeals- “eeeeeeeeppppp LEE-LEEE you’re SOO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MY LEE-LEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I seriously just want to hug Lee-Lee round his middle, he’s such a muffin!

“CAFFER!” finds the middle through all the confusion.

Chapman snaps one, keeping the Cats alive and is followed by Stokes and Varcoe.

Benny J gives Stevie J a piece of playground play as a reaction to the handling of his BFFL Heath. The commentators call him stupid but I think it was sweet.

“I woulda done that for you too Heathy!!!”

Gazza gets the margin down to a point as I start to hyperventilate.

The other star in Swanny replies and the hottest Selwood leaves me cursing but admiring at the same time. (Is that even possible?)

AND Mooney, God’s gift, he’s sooo….amazingly GORGEOUS!

If he looks like that in the hoops, imagine his hotness in our stripes, arrghhhh WOW!

My fantasy is interrupted by… “TOOVEY WHAT THE???!!!!” *bangs head on text book*


Geelong takes the lead on the siren.

Dean Geyer (Caffer) whacks our fifth poster while Stokes scores for the Cats.

The goal umpire makes a HUGE boo-boo and Stevie J puts the Cats up by 12.

“JOHNSON!!!!!!” the vintage Magpie shows he’s still got his touch.

I literally turn my chair and face away from Travis and his set shot.

Once I hear the roar, I know it safe and catch Travis celebrating and join with some squealing of my own.



The boys keep their noses in front.

I let out a loud curse in frustration as Didak’s shot hits the woodwork.


My heart starts racing faster as Geelong reply, but our pressure and endurance is winning the game for us. The Cats are tired, they want to go home and put their feet up, especially Tom Hawkins who looks about ready for his bubble bath and bed time story.


Song to Beamsy- Lyrics courtesy of Christina Aguilera

-He had tattoos up and down his arm,
there’s nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm.


*long high pitched squealing followed by a run though the house while squealing*

Yeahh….I’m happy!!!

While these teams have similarities it was the differences in play which determined the outcome.

Collingwood by 22 points.

The best part is I have PLENTY of room for my premiership tattoo!

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo


  1. Danni – well done, the Pies were too good. I was at the game and had to endure the Pie army in victory raptures. I think I’d rather spend a month in solitary confinement. But they out ran, out muscled and out played Geelong all night. We were lucky to get within 22 points.

    The Pie fans on the way home on the train were, ummmmmm, feral. Loud swearing from grown men who should have known better (with my young kids next to me this was very disturbing), and the comment “There’s always one fu!*ing idiot in the crowd” when I made my thoughts known, was pretty intimidating.

    I think the Pie army needs to learn how to win, and when thy do they might get due recognition from the rest.

    Anyway, enough of my lecturing – enjoy!

  2. Well done Danni.

    I always have a feeling of flatness when I wake up the morning after we have lost the grand final. I was told on many occasions last night that the flag is now officially in the bag so I guess that means we lost it.

    I was at the Wynyard Football Club (Cats) blue and white ball last night and there were plenty of your mob there; having a ball.

    I wore my scarf all night and was dealt with in a ruthlessly efficient manner after judgement was passed.

    Things were quiet at half time but as the music blared and the supper appeared the Pies chortled.

    I took the full brunt of the attack and didn’t shirk.

    The first firing squad (all volunteers of course) arrived and got right into my space. I just stood there, puffed my chest out and said in Breaker Morant style. ‘I dont want a blind fold – shoot straight you bastards’

    That un-nerved them a bit, but they fired volley after volley. I did not fall. The sound of the old Boer War classic ‘Goodbye Dolly Gray’ rang in my ears.

    After the initial ferocious attack and given time to have a lovely fresh sandwich (or ten) I spent the rest of the night in guerrilla mode singling them out and latching onto their ears in the old Mick McGuane style.

    There is still doubt. My teeth were sharp and some were bleeding as I moved on.

    I left defiantly singing ‘The Matador’ song with people shacking their heads.

    My late footy fanatical father used to say ‘winn’em and wear’em’ so enjoy the moment. In that I am sincere. Some Sundays, for some, can be wonderful while for others they suck.

    Cheers Phantom.

  3. Your clown sounds bad Dips but you should have heard the bloke in the grandstand at the local game I watched yesterday. He was cheering every time some one laid a head high punch on the ball carrier.

    Absolutely amazing. When I mentioned that he belonged in a cage those around him, including mothers with young children, looked at me as if I was Martin Bryant out for the afternoon.

    We must be thankful for the decency of the Knackery rules of engagement. Much more reasonable people no matter how broad the Footy Church.

  4. Great report Danni, good to see you decided to do a report instead of giving in to your sleep deprivation.

    Turns out Cloke snr. needs heart surgery for an irregular heart beat, hope it all goes well or my Mum or you won’t be happy.

  5. Phantom – great to read of your bravery in the verbal confrontation with Pie fans. I felt flat this morning (though still hopeful we can steal the flag) so I plugged in an ipod and listened to Crime Of The Century by Supertramp.

    The Pies looked very sharp. If they play that way in September they’ll deserve the win. The Dogs, Saints and Cats will all make it hard though.

    The idiot on the train was a total half wit (or is that a half half wit?). I had a good mind to ask him to step outside and settle the matter – he was so dumb he would have opened the doors of the moving train to oblige me.

  6. Damian Watson says

    Great read Danni,

    I see you haven’t exactly kept the lid on the excitement and anticipation of the Pies fortunes this year but nevertheless you have a right to be excited as well.

    Did you hear Anthony Hudson’s description of Alan Toovey last night?

    “It took a long while for the Magpie faithful to accept him but he seems to be a pivotal part of the current Collingwood line-up”

  7. Great report Danni, fellow Taurean and President of the WeLoveMooney fanclub :P

    Your boys were on fire last night – I really hope these two teams meet again on the last day in September. I wouldn’t be picking out the spot for your tatt too soon, though :P We still have a few tricks up our sleeve.

    And, I’d just like to put it out there, that Thompson and 95 per cent of Geelong fans are friggin morons. Watching our last two games, how could the importance of Mark Blake to our team be denied? Sure, his disposal is often ill-thought, but his kicking is the most accurate and no-nonsense in our team. His tackling, second efforts and one-percenters are improving every week.

    And he is in the top three tap ruckman in the league.

    We needed him last night. Otto is great for a good mark or tackle, but he can’t jump anymore. The prowess he once possessed in the ruck is all but gone. He couldn’t give our midfielders any supply, and it felt like it took us well into the second quarter to get our first clearance.

    Bring back Blakey, save Geelong!

  8. Steve Healy says

    well done Danni, top stuff as always :)

    I found myself barracking for Collingwood for some reason, they completely outplayed the Cats all night and had 29 more inside 50s and should’ve won by more. The Pies look hard to stop. I really think Macaffer has improved his game tremendously in the past month, he just needs to improve his set shot kicking.


  9. Dave Nadel says

    Dear Danni,

    I found a good picture of a lid to post you but my computer savvy kids tell me that you can’t paste images on a thread like this.

    Nevertheless can I suggest that you acquire a lid and postpone plans for the premiership tattoo until September 26?

    I love your enthusiasm and joy at our boys magnificent performances but premature celebrations can end in tears. I have spent too many years watching August dreams turn into September nightmares.

    I won’t recount the twelve lost and one drawn Grand Finals (seven of which I attended in person) that I have lived through. Back in 1964 when I was doing Matriculation, which was the 60s term for VCE, we lost a GF that I was sure we had won (*&^% Neil Crompton!!). It didn’t make the next ten weeks study any easier!

    Keep the lid on it, enjoy the ride, it will make the celebrations and the bragging all the more enjoyable if we do win on the last Saturday in September.


  10. Danni,

    further to your familiar unbiased and totally objective report I did have a chuckle at your Tom Hawkins bit, but.

    My son who is blokey enough six foot five athletic footy playing sensitive new age guy had a chat to the big Tom Cat at the Tassy Falls Festival last new year’s eve.

    He said Tom is a really big unassuming, pleasant, altogether cool bloke. Some of the other AFL players there apparently strutted around like tossers, but not our Tom.

    So when you see the light and come over to the Cats, which I am sure will eventually happen, we may have to sort out an introduction.

    He is the Grange Hermitage (matures with age) of the young guns in AFL at the moment and probably just got a bit disinterested in the end because he could not see you in the crowd.

    PS. I think his favourite bedtime story is the one about Goldilocks (Lingy) and the three grand finals. It starts off well (2007), gets a bit sad in the middle (2008) but has a happy ending (2009).

    Apparently Bomber and Lingy are busily locked, away at this very moment, working on a sequal.

  11. Dips,

    “right, right your bloody well right” but who are the “Dreamers”?

    I was listening to the very same disc only last week as I drove along the coast.

    Great minds think alike; or fools never differ.

  12. Dips & Phantom – I feel sorry for you since i know it myself, most Collingwood supporters are only nice to other Collingwood supporters. It is the general hate towards us by the other teams which causes the ‘us against the world’ attitude.
    Those men probably over did it with the beers and let the win get to thier heads.
    My dad is the same, he can’t stand anyone swearing or talking inappropriately infront of me or my mum, difference is, being an ex-army man he’s prepared to introduce the offenders to his fist, lol.
    i remember once being at an Ess vs Carl match, there was a pretty girl infront of us a few years younger than i and a group of Carlton teen boys who were saying things that shouldnt be said about her in Arabic.
    My daddy was so angry that he turned around and give them a lecture about respect in Arabic, he scared them so much they hardly spoke for the rest of the game.
    But yes, it is supporters like that which ruin the family fun of the footy.

    -josh, thanks, really? which hospital? me and your mum should go down with some flowers and chocolate!

    -Damo, LOL it was all good UNTIL Toovs gave them that 50! Stupid, stupid boy! lol

    -Susie, thanks for the comment, i hope my report didnt cause any pain, i tried to be gentle. :P
    ps- <3 MOONEY!!!

    -Stevey, thanks :)

    Dave- i really dont want a lid, unless its a pink one, i do like pink lol
    i know what you mean about the celebrations turning to tears :(
    my business teacher during parent interviews said;
    "well lets hope Collingwood don't lose the GF so that Danni will be able to be her best during exams"
    i think i have been excited but still not as much as i am capable of, you aint seen nothing yet :P
    so for me i guess my lid is on, well as much of it as i will allow to be on anyway :)

    Phantom- SHAME ON YOU! trying to tempt me over to Geelong using Tom Hawkins as bait! LOL
    While i do like Geelong VERY MUCH these are the reasons i wont cross over.
    1. it would break my Dad's heart
    2. Dad would disown me
    3. the hoops on the jumper would make me look fat.
    4.Last time i went to Geelong, i was confronted in the powder room buy some public school girls who asked me if i wanted any "lollies" i declined nicely and ran for my life.
    5. Your mascot doesnt look as cuddley as ours.
    if i think of any more reasons ill let you know.

  13. Phantom, Don’t try to make Ling out all sweet. He is obviously a nice bloke but an absolute disgrace on the field. He is bad for footy and the only thing that stops my admiration of Geelong (maybe ablett also!).

  14. Suzie #7,

    keep the faith. There is a lot of ‘ducks and drakes’ going on at the moment. Nobody has said Blake will miss out yet. He has just been challenged. The ball is in his court.

    The only team that fully opened the Kimono at the weekend was Collingwood. Everyone had a very very very close look at what they’ve got. They played their best game last night.

    For any of the top four teams to win the flag they will have to beat at least two, if not all three, of the others or one of the next tier to make it to the prelim or GF.

    There is a long way to go and there is a really hard finals nut in the mix.

    I still believe.


  15. Oops! Sorry Crio.

    But surely he couldn’t be as bad as the Staker jaw breaker.

  16. Rather have Mumford?

  17. I disagree Crio, respectfully of course. How is Ling bad for football? Unlike other taggers, he doesn’t get in cheap shots. He backs himself to win the ball, and doesn’t just hang off his opponent. If anything, I feel he’s play the role of a classy tagger.

    Just my humble opinion, though.

    And even Geelong fans get frustrated with Gary at times, so I see where you’re coming from there.

  18. Phantom, you’re completely right.

    That was Collingwood’s A game, they really have little more to give. There was so much Geelong didn’t deliver on last night, if we can get things into place in the next three weeks, we’ll still have some tricks up our sleeves come September.

    As the radio ads incessantly remind us, no one likes a premature performer ;-)

    And who knows which St Kilda team will turn up on any given day? The ruthless outfit? Or the apathetic we’re-just-here-because-we-have-to-be squad. And WB are always a mystery. Scary one week, middle-of-the-range the next.

    And Carlton has pulled upset wins over at least two of the top teams (can’t remember their performances against WB and Pies), so you can never count them out. And Freo? Who even knows what they’re capable of?

    This is truly the most even finals campaign in living memory.

  19. Libber the skin scratching lip lacerator?

  20. Crio – crickey!! If Ablett and Lingy offend you so would Mother Mary MacKillop!! OK that might be going to far, but fair suck of the sauce bottle.

  21. It is good to see that the business end of the season has woken some of the Knackers from the winter slumber.

    As the stakes get higher the competition gets fiercer. It is all in good spirit.

    Dips maybe we should get a group of Knackers on your train after debating issues after a game to show the morons how it should be done.

    Mary MacKillop; now she was a good outspoken radical. And soon to be a Saint. Could this be a ‘Devine Sign”

  22. Andrew Fithall says

    “Devine sign” Phantom? Given the spelling, you must be referring to that former Geelong player and coach… and Tasmanian publican John Devine. And if that is the sign, then it is portentous.

    I was busy on the weekend. Anyone know the footy results?

  23. Well spotted Andrew.

    Footy results. Ah yes.

    Apparently there was an AFL episode akin to the Dunkirk retreat at the G on Saturday night. Worn out beaten bodies took to the floatilla of small craft to slip home under heavy enemy fire. (Refer to Dips train episode)

    History repeated as the enemy failed to continue on with the rout. Get the point(s)

    The enemy leader was seen with a crumpled plan and the ‘long eyes’ surveying the battle field from a perched spot looking across into the distance where the real prize stood after the conflict as happened in 1940, but he failed to give the order to continue on while he had the momentum.

    Rookeinforcements have been delivered from the United States and a bipartisan (Cats, Dogs and Saints) strike is imminent as Operation Overlord is being planned.

    Winston Costa gave a ‘we will never surrender speech’ and loosely alligned allies (refer to Russia) Dogs and Saints (apparently led by Mary MacKillop recently rotated into the game) put in ominous solid performances the next day.

    With several fronts now opened (refer to Bonaparte and Shickelgruber) and a stoic foe licking it’s wounds the tide is ebbing.

    A contemporary history of impressive periodical blitzkrieg interventions culminating in final defeat would worry enemy strategists.

    Glad you raised the issue Andrew. And if you don’t believe that I can always bite you on the knee caps.

  24. Dave Latham says

    It’s a good thing too that the Pies had ‘little more to give’ on the weekend, given it should have been a 10 goal pantsing.

    Playing without Reid for 3/4 and with that many forward entries, contested possessions was an exceptional effort.

    Now that the Pies know we can take care of business I expect the yips to ease off as well.

    Medhurst still lurks as a dangeours prospect if Leon can’t get it together, and we have Nathan Brown or Jack Anthony to step in for Reid. And that’s only the top of the depth.

  25. Dave Nadel says

    You tell ’em, Dave!

  26. Dave Latham says

    The players can keep the lid on it, I’ll throw a few.

  27. Dave,

    I look more like the Invisible Man than the Phantom after Saturday night. All covered up in bandages.

    By the way, these yips you were referring to. More information required.

    I haven’t been exposed to them and subsequently don’t know what they are. You seem to be familiar with them.

    Also I have a good hint for the Grand Final Parade.

    There are a couple of little cafe type spots near Kurrajong House at 175 Collins Street. You can have a latte and a profiterole while waiting. There aren’t as many common people. Not like lower Swanson; hungry Jacks and hawkers.

    Good establishment stock. Not your ‘football liberals riff raff’. More of your old money from that by gone era when the Pies ruled Melbourne. Bring it back.

    Exciting, isn’t it.

    Phantom (Licking wounds at the cave)

  28. Dave Latham says

    We must have really knocked the stuffing out of you if you can’t remember yips Phantom. See Cameron Mooney.

    I informed my wooz last night that I’m taking a week off from 24th September.

    Seeing as though I haven’t seen my way clear to organising a family holiday for some time, this did not go down well.

    If things go according to plan, that will be part of a whistle-stop tour.

    It will start at Lulie St, up Johnson, down Smith, down Collins St (maybe a stop off at Liberal HQ), down Royal Pde where there will set up for a long lunch…the next few days get a little hazy.

  29. I asked about the yips Dave, but all you want to do is yap.

    Have you got tickets to the GF yet? Do Collingwood have the usual preferential treatment for tickets as with rosters etc or is that what Eddie is working on today?

    When I took my son in 2007 the GF morning wasn’t hazy but it was very squirmy till early into the 2nd quarter then it got hazy.

    Its a big day. I bet you can’t wait.

  30. David Latham says

    For some reason I’m very chatty this Monday.

    No I haven’t got GF tix Phantom. I think the major problem is having 1/2 of the crowd filled with blow-ins.

    Was in Sydney for the 2007 GF, at the Coogee Hotel (and no I didn’t order their world-famous tiramisu). A warm day and several beverages, but by half-time I thought the game was over, literally.

    The torture was so bad that it felt like I had watched the whole game by half-time.

  31. It’s a fine line between pleasuer and pain.

  32. #22. Andrew, your final sentence sums up the smugness of the Collingwood supporter !

  33. Comment number- steele sidebottom :)
    Sure Mr.Fithall i think i can recall the score being;

    COLL- 107 to GEEL- 85

    Oh by the way everyone, mum bought some new tupperware, guess who was walking around with the lid? :p

  34. Hi guys,

    Anyone know where Harms has gone?

  35. 34- (toovey eww) lol

    Simon, yeah, i don’t know.

Leave a Comment