Oscar Judd Debacle

Gday, Rob McGere here. I’m a freelance construction worker and poet. But that’s not really important right now. I’m also a Carlton supporter. Have been since I was a pup. Don’t talk to me about Carlton not being working class – we were more working-class than Collingwood way back when, and we’re definitely more blue collar than those wankers now. How about them? Prancing around pretending to be the spanner and parmie bloke’s best mate while their head honcho lives it up in Toorak . . .

Anyway, more important matters: Carlton got knocked out of the finals for one reason and one reason alone. Forget about Walker getting his jumper ripped off, taken to the dry cleaners and put back on him by Darren Glass in the goal square, forget about poor Davies having to throw some useless Weagle on the turf and getting free-kicked for it, the blame lies squarely with one bloke.

Chris Judd. Actually, two blokes: Oscar Judd as well.

It’s been a big joke, hasn’t it? Juddy is buggered for the last few weeks cos he’s been up all night with a screaming nappy-filler. Wallsy gets asked on One Week at a Time, do you think Oscar Judd was to blame for Juddy not getting a kick on Saturday night? Wallsy laughs, ‘I think he might be.’

Wallsy laughs! But I’m asking you, What’s funny about that? Is Juddy paid $900K a year, plus another $200K for putting his plastic milk bottles in the recycling, to twist a rug rat in and out of his nappy in the night, or does he earn his bikkies for twisting in and out of packs?

It’s a bloody joke. What was he thinking? Get the hell off to a hotel for a few weeks. Yep, hang out there during the day with the kid when you’re not training, but get some bloody sleep, you idiot! I did some work at the Sofitel, I could have got you a free pass. Might have been the broom cupboard, but, Jesus, better than staying in your mansion and getting no shuteye.

Do you think Warnie would have been there changing nappies the night before a Test? No, he’d be at a hotel. Texting back home when he needed to. Might not have got too much sleep, he had a busy bed, but he’d kick out any strangers when he needed to and get a rest. You can’t drop kick the bubba out of bed if he wants to get close to Mum.

Wallsy wouldn’t have put up with those shenanigans. Neither would The Dominator. Look what he did to that stripper in the big one in ’82. He would have chucked Oscar Judd out with the cat in September.

For Christ’s sake Juddy, get your priorities straight. And, for next year’s finals, if bubba is still waaing all night, or if you’ve gone back to the plate for another, I can come over and help out. I’ll get up in the night. I’ve had a boy, turned out an idiot, but I’m sure Rebecca wouldn’t mind a bloke handy with his tools around while you get your bluey sleep.

Just drop a line, [email protected], or on that Facebook thingo, Juddy – Rob McGere.


  1. Well Rob, Oscar won’t be troubling you much longer. I know Mum is a Perth girl at heart and Oscar will return to his roots under the father-son rule.
    I notice on Danni’s Brownlow couples thread that she reckons Mum is keen on another one soon. Time to get started now. An October/November conception augurs well for next year’s finals.

  2. Fair points Rob….I remember reading about an Essendon player in either the 84 or 85 g/f. I think it was Paul Weston or one of their other key players and he did exactly that- stayed in a hotel room in the city due to his baby going ballistic during finals time.

    “C Judd- 1 vote”

    Collingwood fans might need to change their mantra from “C.Judd – 3 votes” to “C.Judd – 1 vote” after this year’s Brownlow as well. The umpires might have missed that he was best on ground in the match against Melbourne in round 10 for example.

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