Opening Round – St Kilda v Collingwood: Floreat Pica Society match report

 

Collingwood v St Kilda – MCG

Round Zero, Sunday March 8th, 2026

 

I’ll kick off the first FPS report for 2026 with a brief recollection – it so happens that my last FPS

match report was also a clash v the Saints, from round 15 last year. We won that by 34 points

at Marvel and Nick Daicos pulled in three Horsburgh votes. There was some banter before that

game about the big games between these two sides in the past, and the question needs to be

asked…. Exactly how many teams are we able to call ‘old rivals’? Or even new rivals? I’m sure

the list is a long one.

 

In other news, after tuning in for only a few minutes, we get a snap-shot of life in Australia –

Hungry Jacks have launched the ‘Outback Whopper’, KFC have responded with Zinger Nachos,

and McDonalds are not to be left out of the race, with a 99 cents delivery promo. Surely the Fox

folks could find a spot for Haiku Bob’s Chilli Jams into the mix to add some spice? Fast food

aside, the other big advertisers appear to be Telstra and Super funds. Fast food, communication, retirement. And footy!

 

The Fox footy coverage starts with some analysis into Nick Daicos and also Nasiah Wanganeen-

Milera. Tom de Koning and Liam Ryan are also getting talked up, among the many players that

the Saints have spent up big on, during the off season. For those with an interest in Finance &

Accounting, the big question today is whether the Saints will be getting an early return on their

investments. Let’s see….

 

For the Pies, no Jeremy Howe or Darcy Moore today, so Nick Daicos is our skipper, and the

perennial Pendlebury is playing game no. 426 tonight (incredibly, his 21st season!) and it

appears that he is doing most of the talking in the pre-game huddle.

 

First Quarter

Nick gets the first touch of the game, accompanied by a mighty roar, and his brother Josh gets

the first free, after a sticky front-on blanket tackle on Max Hall at half back. Jamie Elliott loses a

lime green boot on the wing. A magnificent coast to coast play sees slick Nick at the beginning

and the end, however the ball brushes the goal post. While watching some Six Nations rugby

highlights over the weekend, I got thinking – why can’t we also have it, where if the ball hits the

post but goes in on the right side, the score is paid? Seems like a fair idea. Cup half full, surely.

Bruzzer takes a strong mark on 50m, misses – and its two behinds each. IQ is busy intercepting

and delivering cleanly. Saints are next to execute a fast coast to coast play, yet Mitch Owens

also only manages a point from set shot. Sgt Schulz gives away a 50m for standing in the wrong

position and Brad Hill gets a goal from it. Cue the REM song, STAND (one of many classics from

the GREEN album). Billy Frampton gives Sharman way too much space to take a pack mark,

another goal to the Saints. Big Darcy marks a Josh Daicos kick and puts it to the top of the

square, JdG accepts the delicious crumbs and snaps truly. Great to see our newcomers, Steele

and Parker getting amongst the action. Sidey finds Membrey within range. We need a goal. Alas,

not yet. Let’s wait for a chain involving of Naicos, Pendles and de Goey, which was sublime.

Schulz gets almost decapitated within 20m, despite desperate pleas that he has ducked. No

way… goal, and the Pies are in front. The next few minutes are fast & furious, and the crowd are

loving it. Naicos goes for a torpedo at full pace, and eventually Dan McStay takes some crumbs

and kicks truly from 45m out.

 

Qtr time; Pies 27, Saints 16.

 

The Saints start Q2 pressing hard into their 50m arc. Parker chases down NWM who was

drooling, heading straight for a gettable goal. Billy Frampton’s ‘don’t argue’ on Mitch Owens

was too high, with a push straight into the Adam’s Apple, and his free kick is a miss. Jack Buller

is mobbed, and pinged with a tough decision – holding the ball. IQ is taking more intercept

marks. Nasiah eludes the Perryman tag momentarily, gets a chance within 40m, and kicks truly.

Saints are back in front, 30 to 28. Next is a soccer attempt from Wilson, minor score. Billy

Frampton is caught (unfortunately he is doing his best to justify some FPS member choices as

the “whipping boy”) and Sharman gets the goal from 50m. Darcy Cameron is standing tall and

taking fine intercept marks. Nasiah goes for an unrealistic marking attempt, another kick goes

straight to the large frame of DC, deep in defence. Membrey gets a mark within range, but his

lead is way too far into the pocket on a sharp angle and misses. IQ defending again superbly,

smiling and eagerly looking for Horsburgh votes. One minute later, and it’s DC taking yet

another intercept mark! Lachie Schulz receives a centimetre perfect left foot pass from Sidey

and has a kick from the opposite pocket – he chooses the round the corner option – Goal!

 

Half Time; Pies 35, Saints 37.

 

The Pies appear to be trying Pendles as a secret weapon, bringing him on late in the quarter,

and it’s working nicely – he goes straight onto the ball and makes an immediate impact. Naicos

is subject to some deep analysis again at half time, and the two ruckmen, Cameron and de

Koning are next under the microscope. Our Charlie Gardner is reported as saying that both

Darcy Moore and Jeremy Howe are still 2-3 weeks away.

 

Second half;

 

So Pendles starts on the field, so the above strategy is quickly scrapped – good – keeping the

opposition guessing. And he is in the action immediately with a goal assist – a basketball style

flick over the head, to McCreery and we have a goal within the first minute. Pies back in front.

Both McCreery and Pendles are involved again and Pendles gets a set shot after getting

thumped in the back. He gives it straight back to Beau, who goals from a standing start. It could

have been a third quick goal, with Pendles involved again, but Naicos misses to the left. And we

could have made it four, yet Membrey finds the timber from 15m out! Neither Membrey or Dan

McStay are doing much as key forwards. IQ makes his only slip up for the game so far, allowing

Owens an easy mark and goal. Despite a lot of possession in Q3 so far, we hold a slender five

point lead. Cooper Sharman misses a sitter – we are very lucky. Dan Houston misses a set shot.

Fast forward movement, clean hands, de Goey finds space, and goal. Next is a comedy of errors

and boos from the crowd as the ump gives a free kick clearly the wrong way! Steele Sidey makes

an audible protest, yet we soon regain possession, move the ball forward where our other

Steele – Roan finds space (after receiving a LOOONG handball from Ned Long), all alone at half

forward, trots in and kicks truly. There is some biffo after the goal, involving de Goey. Next is a

long shot from Membrey and he still cannot find the goals. Jack Crisp is getting into the game.

DC got a bit lucky, a free after a light touch from De Koning (Saints fans groan in unison after

seeing the replay) and he goals from 50m. We are back to an 18 point lead. Biffo is on again, and

the wide grin of de Goey is seen right in the middle of it all again. The Saint, Hugh Boxshall hits

the post from a sharp angle, and the rebound provide another smooth coast to coast play

involving both Daicos brothers and at the end of the chain is Billy Elliott, so far very quiet,

kicking from 60m into a vacant forward line, and it bounces through on the wrong side of the

post for a point. A goal would have been nice, and there’s the bell.

 

3 QT ; Pies 70, Saints 52.

 

Some banter during the break about Perryman’s impressive job on NWM. Harry has kept him to

14 touches. On our side of the ledger, it’s 56 possessions for our two Macedonian marvels.Maynard gives just a bit too much space to Liam Ryan who coolly threads a set shot from the

boundary line and Bruzz is seen nodding a grudging acceptance. Billy F gets caught yet again

and Higgins goals after earning the free kick. Our lead is quickly whittled down to 6 points.

Should we be worried? Of course not… a desperate tackle from hard working Schulz, then TS

Elliot marks and goals. Back to a 13 point lead. Lippa is seen limping, and the COLLINGWOOD

chant starts up. 2 minutes remaining. Pendles showing some cunning & experience – he is

tackled twice in a minute, yet he does not give away the free. The possession game is on – too

early? Apparently not, we grind down the clock and take a 12 point win.

 

The Daicos brothers end up with 77 possessions and a crowd of 82,528 sees a good win for the

Pies. Leigh Matthews comments that our experienced players make the right decisions at the

right time. Fly is grinning from ear to ear, and signing autographs, we can sense a certain relief

at winning the first game of the year.

 

FINAL SCORES;

Collingwood 11.12.78

St Kilda 9.12.66

 

HORSBURGH VOTES:

3; Nick Daicos – 41 possessions, some magic getting out of heavy traffic (he would go well,

even in Bangkok), all the while under intense pressure, although the Windhager tag idea was

abandoned this time around,

2. Scott Pendlebury – our secret weapon, a 38yo fine vintage, reads the play so well, finds the

ball, finds a teammate, 5 goal assists from 58% game time.

1. Josh Daicos – 36 touches, including 13 marks, super sharp disposal and totally in charge of

our half back line.

 

Apologies to IQ, DC, Perryman, who all made solid contributions.

 

Overall, a good start to the year, and I look forward to notching up four more points against the

Crows next week. Nice to see our other old rivals Carlton getting walloped by the rampaging

Swans (an avalanche of 12 goals in Q3) and also the Dogs beating the Lions would surely be

appreciated by this audience.

 

Cheers to you all from the Bangkok Correspondent.

 

GO PIES!

 

Paul McKay.

 

 

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