NFL Week 5 – The Kerby Joseph Cup

 

 

 

Greetings Tipsters

Breaking news! Aaron Rodgers sacks the head coach!

NY Jets coach Robert Saleh showed up for work early Tuesday morning and was ushered into an office where Woody Johnson, team owner, told him his services were no longer required. The Jets have been a perennial underachiever ever since the most storied Superbowl of all time, Superbowl III, when they beat the heavily favoured Baltimore Colts. ‘Broadway Joe’ Namath predicted the win, a pivotal moment when the upstart AFL beat an NFL team in the Big Game.

Since then, almost nothing. Three divisional championships. Last playoff game was 2010. Saleh was the well-respected Defensive Coordinator for the 49ers when he was got the job in New York – the training facility and stadium are in New Jersey – for the 2021 season. He put together a very good D but the O wasn’t up to speed. 2021 #2 draft pick Zachary Kapono Wilson was supposed to be the new franchise quarterback but he’s now a backup in Denver and is still best known for having an affair with his mate’s mum.

So, figuring that the only thing needed was a true legend behind centre, they chased Aaron Rodgers, multiple MVP, one of the greatest quarterbacks of the last 50 years, a product of the Quarterback Factory otherwise known as Green Bay Packers. Surely this would get the team over the hump.

September ’23, 39-year-old Aaron popped his Achilles tendon on the fourth snap of the first game. Never mind, Aaron’s a legend! Just ask him. He does darkness retreats and eats ayahuasca for breakfast when he’s on holidays. He initially claimed that he would return in a few weeks – then for the playoffs – then he reluctantly conceded to reality and said he may have to wait out the season. Zach played several games, was benched in favour of hack Tommy De Vito who lived with his parents down the road from the stadium and had a slight hint of a Donnie Brasco extra about him, which enlivened the national media for a few weeks until everyone realised he couldn’t play.

Still, the Defense was good. Saleh’s a D coach, it’s to be expected. Meanwhile, Aaron was exercising his ego. He showed up at Pat McAfee’s studio every week. He went on holiday instead of showing up to training camp. He said he was considering running for VP on the RFK Jr ticket. He got some of his old mates onto the Jets roster and staff, including the appropriately named Nathaniel Hackett as OC, to hold his hand and tell him that he really is the GOAT and that Brady, Manning and Mahomes are all pretenders.

The Jets are 2-3. The Vikings beat them in London – was that a step too far? Woody was the US ambassador to UK for a while, his brother was running the team then and hired Saleh, maybe Woody was embarrassed that his team was beat in front of his hi-falutin’ Pommy bros. So, sack the coach.

Except that the D wasn’t a problem, it was the O; it was Aaron playing worse than Zach, insisting on a game style that is out of date yet might have worked if he was the footballer of three years ago. Now there’s a lot of noise about the Jets trading for Davante Adams, another of Aaron’s old mates, yet, truth is, the team has dug itself into a hole and the best they can hope for is another high draft pick, grab a potential franchise QB and then screw the poor bastard into the turf.

Aaron is mad, so mad that I like him; he was a fantastic quarterback for a long time, won a Superbowl early on and never got back there, mostly ‘cos the 49ers kept whupping Packers in playoffs; he played for an obscure college, was a relatively late draft pick and has carried a log-sized chip on his shoulder ever since. Now he’s in New York, the biggest, most intense market in the country, and his ego has swollen to a size that Superman would struggle to contain.

By the gods, I love American Football. You wouldn’t get this kind of story anywhere else.

I was hit by technical difficulties which delayed my first draft so I got to write this Jets tale instead, which is way more fun.

 

Cheers Tipsters

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