Naughty Poems

 

Pompeii Discovery

 

The recent Pompeii excavation
unearthed a stunning revelation:

 

A corpse with hand on crotch
was found beneath the rubble.
While others ran like hell
he didn’t take the trouble

 

to move his fingers from his private plumbing.
It’s fair to say he didn’t see it coming.

 

 

The Bobbitt Question

 

After his wife
wielded the knife
was John Wayne Bobbitt
hung like a hobbit?

 

 

 

The Matador

 

The bishop called the nun a whore
for sleeping with the matador.
The feisty nun replied with malice:
‘Perhaps the issue is you’re jealous.’

 

 

 

The Sandra Bullock Film Festival

 

At the Sandra Bullock festival
the plots are quite accessible,
and sheilas force their blokes to come
to watch Miss Bullock playing dumb,
but blokes prepared to watch this shit
are half a chance to get a bit

 

 


Defrocked

 

I once abstained from sin,
but now I’ve had my fill.
I once was Benny Hinn,
but now I’m Benny Hill.

 

 

 

Acknowledgments: Defrocked’ in Light Poetry Magazine, ‘Pompeii Discovery’ in Horror Sleaze Trash and Quadrant and ‘The Matador’ in The Asses of Parnassus.

 

 

More from Damian can be read Here.

 

More poetry from Almanac Poetry can be read HERE

 

If you would like to receive the Almanac Music and Poetry newsletter we will add you to the list. Please email us: [email protected]

 

To return to the www.footyalmanac.com.au  home page click HERE

 

Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.

 

Do you enjoy the Almanac concept?
And want to ensure it continues in its current form, and better? To help keep things ticking over please consider making your own contribution.

 

Become an Almanac (annual) member – CLICK HERE
One-off financial contribution – CLICK HERE
Regular financial contribution (monthly EFT) – CLICK HERE

 

 

 

About Damian Balassone

Damian Balassone is a delusional Collingwood supporter who writes poetry and fiction. He is the author of 'Strange Game in a Strange Land'.

Comments

  1. Kevin Densley says

    Fun stuff – all of it – DB!

    That said, I particularly enjoyed “Pompeii Discovery”, which has a cracker of a last line!

  2. Daryl Schramm says

    A very clever collection of words and pictures on a theme that will never be erradicated..

  3. DBalassone says

    Thanks for the kind feedback Kevin and Daryl. An ancient theme indeed Daryl.

  4. Luke Reynolds says

    Brilliant and very funny DB!

  5. Matt Zurbo says

    Haha, you’re the best!

Leave a Comment

*