Naughty Poems


Pompeii Discovery


The recent Pompeii excavation
unearthed a stunning revelation:


A corpse with hand on crotch
was found beneath the rubble.
While others ran like hell
he didn’t take the trouble


to move his fingers from his private plumbing.
It’s fair to say he didn’t see it coming.



The Bobbitt Question


After his wife
wielded the knife
was John Wayne Bobbitt
hung like a hobbit?




The Matador


The bishop called the nun a whore
for sleeping with the matador.
The feisty nun replied with malice:
‘Perhaps the issue is you’re jealous.’




The Sandra Bullock Film Festival


At the Sandra Bullock festival
the plots are quite accessible,
and sheilas force their blokes to come
to watch Miss Bullock playing dumb,
but blokes prepared to watch this shit
are half a chance to get a bit





I once abstained from sin,
but now I’ve had my fill.
I once was Benny Hinn,
but now I’m Benny Hill.




Acknowledgments: Defrocked’ in Light Poetry Magazine, ‘Pompeii Discovery’ in Horror Sleaze Trash and Quadrant and ‘The Matador’ in The Asses of Parnassus.



More from Damian can be read Here.


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About Damian Balassone

Damian Balassone is a failed half-forward flanker who writes poetry. He is the author of 'Strange Game in a Strange Land'.


  1. Kevin Densley says

    Fun stuff – all of it – DB!

    That said, I particularly enjoyed “Pompeii Discovery”, which has a cracker of a last line!

  2. Daryl Schramm says

    A very clever collection of words and pictures on a theme that will never be erradicated..

  3. DBalassone says

    Thanks for the kind feedback Kevin and Daryl. An ancient theme indeed Daryl.

  4. Luke Reynolds says

    Brilliant and very funny DB!

  5. Matt Zurbo says

    Haha, you’re the best!

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