Montsalvat Wedding

A mangy dog and feral cat
have tied the knot in Montsalvat.


The celebrant was dressed as Satan
(he’d driven all the way from Clayton).


The groom had partied all night long,
then hitched a ride from Dandenong.


His ex was lurking by the door
(she’d caught the bus from Reservoir).


The bride was born in Taylors Lakes
(she said she’d learnt from her mistakes).


Her hair was braided like Bo Derek.
The groomsmen hired their suits in Berwick.


Their pink cravats were nicked from Target.
Her dress was stitched at Preston Market.


They thanked their guests, then said goodbye…
and now they honeymoon in Rye.



The Chapel at Montsalvat [Source: Wikimedia commons]


Read more from Damian Balassone HERE


To return to our Footy Almanac home page click HERE.



Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.



Do you enjoy the Almanac concept?

And want to ensure it continues in its current form, and better? To help things keep ticking over please consider making your own contribution.



Become an Almanac (annual) member – CLICK HERE.

One-off financial contribution – CLICK HERE.

Regular financial contribution (monthly EFT) – CLICK HERE.


About Damian Balassone

Damian Balassone is a delusional Collingwood supporter who writes poetry and fiction. He is the author of 'Strange Game in a Strange Land'.


  1. Kevin Densley says

    Nice one, DB! Neatly and amusingly done!

  2. I loved the Melbourne references, Damo!!

  3. That’s great. Love it.
    Glad you have etched Preston market in there as I see the signs saying it needs saving.

  4. DBalassone says

    Thanks all. An idyll for idle Melbourne in what is (traditionally!) the wedding season here.
    Preston Market is a beauty Kate, particularly the seafood.

Leave a Comment