Melbourne Test – Day 2: In Twitter We Trust (?)

I’m spending far too much time on Twitter.

I’m spending far too much time taking heed of the opinions of others on twitter who have neither heard, nor care for, it would seem, the maxim; “tis better to be silent and be thought of as a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

My Twitter timeline for day one is best summarised thus:

  • Michael Clarke is an idiot for sending England in. (10:20am)
  • Shane Watson is the most selfish number three this country has produced, and can’t bowl for crackers (ad infinitum).
  • Shane Watson has – with no hyperbole whatsoever – just bowled the ball of the decade to dismiss Carberry.
  • Shane Watson is a star.
  • Shane Watson’s body has all the durability and resilience of rice paper.
  • Test Cricket is, like, sooooooooooo totes boring.
  • Myer’s website did what on Boxing Day?
  • Who’s that tool fielding on the fence?
  • Mitchell Johnson should never shave again.
  • George Bailey has quite the mouth on him for a bloke with three tests to his name and isn’t worth Boonie’s arse as a silly mid-on.
  • The Poms are hopeless
  • Michael Clarke is a tactical genius for sending England in. (5:55pm).


  • This pitch is a driveway; There’s at least 400 on offer here.
  • Michael Clarke is a genius for putting the Poms in to bat.
  • The Johnson/Harris combination is every bit as lethal as Lillee/Thommo circa 1975.
  • Kevin Pietersen just does not have the temperament for the long-form game anymore.
  • The Barmy Army are awful quiet, aren’t they? (10.55am).
  • David Warner just does not have the temperament for the long-form game.
  • Shane Watson is the epitome of the selfish number three. No doubt he was carrying an injury into this game.
  • That ball was unplayable, Not even Viv would have got that, let alone Michael Clarke #LuckySwing
  • Love how Smith and Rogers are building an innings here
  • #ValuableRuns
  • Stuart Broad is a wanker.
  • A well deserved #Fiddy to Buck Rogers #NeverDoubtedHe’dComeGood
  • Smith just doesn’t have the temperament for the long-form game…
  • Rogers just can’t go on after getting a start…
  • Jimmy Anderson can’t catch.
  • George Bailey’s a dud.
  • What an arsey catch for Anderson
  • Wishing the #BarmyArmy would #STFU
  • This pitch is a bowler’s pitch.
  • Clarke’s decision to bowl would have to be one of the worst calls EVER! #SackPup

So, for day three, I’m doing a twitter cull and leaving the Percy Beames bar to actually watch some cricket.

Sorry, what’s that?

38 degrees forecast?

On second thoughts…

About Steve Baker

Weapons-grade grump. Currently in an "it's complicated" relationship with Essendon.


  1. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Entertaining Steve and yes you reflect the games twists and turns surely , Bailey is playing for his career in the , 2nd Inn . Unfortunately scheduling of games make it hard for players on the fringe like , Ferguson are you back in the bar ? Thanks Steve

  2. Peter Schumacher says

    The twist and turns that you describe in your ongoing take as to developments as they occur would be mirrored in the minds of a lot of people. As for me, I stuck up for Watto a few days ago. Why?

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