MCG Test, Australia v India – Day One: Ode to an enigma

This kind of just came to me on Boxing Day. I imagined it as a conversation between the Selectors and wider members of the Australian cricketing public.

(With apologies to Johnny and June Cash and the writers of that wonderful song ‘Jackson’, messrs. Wheeler and Leiber)

 

 

Well, you got selected in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout,
Seems we’ve been talkin’ ’bout Watson, ever since that Flintoff rout. (circa Ashes 2005)
We’re gonna pick Watson, not gonna mess around,
Yeah, It’s gotta be Watson
There’s a new all-rounder in town.

Well, go on ahead and pick Watson; go ahead and wreck your health.
Watch him plant that pad, judge reviews so bad, make a big fool of yourself,
See here comes Watson; see him comb his hair!
But there’s huge potential in Watson.
See if I care.

Look, when he breezes to another fifty, people gonna stoop and bow. (Hah!)                                                                    He’s got a safe pair of hands, can hit them into the stands, and his bowling’s tight as you know how.
It’s gotta be Watson, He’s always got our vote
‘Cos we believe in Watson.
“Goodbye,” that’s all she wrote.

They’ll rail at your man Watson, and I’ll be dancin’ on a VB Keg.
Watch him play so bold, look in complete control                                                                                                                Before he dollies to the man they put at leg
You keep picking Watson, you big-talkin’ man.
Cos’ I’ll be riding on Watson, like every other cricket fan

Well now, he got selected in a fever, hotter than a pepper Sprout,
We’ve been talkin’ ’bout Watson, every time that he gets out.
I think sometimes it’s hard to be Watson, and that’s a fact.
Another fifty for Watson, shame twas no more than that

Well, he got selected in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout’
Seems we’re always talkin’ ’bout Watson, and at what position he’ll walk out….
(repeat to fade)

About andrew frame

UK based, Queensland born footy lover. Diehard sharks fan in the NRL. Cats fanatic in the AFL. Cricket tragic with a long suffering wife who just doesn't get the sport obsession at all. :)

Comments

  1. John Butler says

    Watto could only be flattered with any connection to J Cash. And we have certainly been talking about him for a long time.

    Good stuff Andrew.

  2. Warwick Nolan says

    Very clever work, Andrew.

    Aussie Cricket could probably use some Balmy Army style songs to chant at the Tests.

    Certainly some opportunities for budding singer/songwriters with our Terry Sullivan lookalike skipper, Stodgy Rogers etc – not to mention the no-ball King Ishant.

    Has anyone bowled more no-balls in Test cricket history than Ishant?

  3. Thanks for the kind words fellas.
    John – Well, yes. Much as I can feel sorry for Watto and the stick he receives at times, any connection to the late, great man in black can only be good for Shane.
    Warwick – As Aussies, we don’t really go for this singing lark when it comes to sport, do we? Living in the UK as I do now, I must admit there is a real atmosphere generated at football matches as the opposing fans try to outdo each other on the terraces. I remember going to a Port Vale game with a friend and thoroughly enjoying belting out ‘Glad All Over’ with their fans. I have however, felt less than amused while watching the Wallabies at Twickenham on occassion and gritting my teeth as the England faithful ‘Swing Low’. There’s just something in the way they sing it that grinds my gears. (although that could be something to do with the insipid Wallaby performance on the field)
    Ishant Sharma lends himself very well to Lennon’s ‘Instant Karma’, which I believe has already been done. :)

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