Magpies make score board statement as Danni puts voice to paper

Apparently I have a throat infection; it’s that time of year when every one gets sick all the time. My throat feels scratched and I can’t last five minutes without having a coughing fit. In two days I’ve gone through three packets of Butter Menthols and I’m waking up crankier than normal, which trust me isn’t good for my family.

I put all that to the side, after all there’s footy to watch and a win might cheer me up.

Mum is not happy about me taking over the TV despite my arguing that I’d rather watch it on the normal TV anyway if I had the choice, and that if she’s that unhappy she should phone channel 7 and yell at them for not taking the game, it’s  really not my problem. (There’s that cranky mood again)

So I settle down, after a small amount of coughing, as the boys run through the banner.

The siren sounds and the ball hits the turf its game on.

A Cox tap in the ruck results in a Kennedy poster (not the paper you stick up on a wall) as the first score of the match.

Baby Magpie Blair has replaced my Steele (Calf injury, apparently). This will be interesting since in my opinion Steele is worth a goal or two a game.

Sadly, Blair is unable to convert his shot and fill the Steele gap.

Tarks slots our first goal followed by Jollywood.

“DAWESYYY!!!” (By the way I can’t scream for real b/c of the throat thing but luckily I can scream on paper all I want without coughing and will continue to do so throughout this report)

Anyway, Dawesy starts his rampage with a slick, never gonna miss beauty.

After a failed attempt from Swanny he gets another chance and shows why he is yet again a Brownlow favorite.

My boys are using the turnovers to punish the Eagles, Pendles slots one and the third time is a charm for Beamsy who strolls into the goals as if on a picnic.

My Superman is spending time on both sides of the ground, but is mostly in defence not that he has much to do with the inside 50s standing at.

COLL- 18 to WCE- 7

Although there is a part in me wishing he’d take a massive hanger or something because it seems that I’m the only one who still sees his potential.

Jolly gets goal number two to start the second term; it’s a party out there, a Magpie massacre!

Kennedy adopts the old Reid Tinkerbell-toes kicking style and absolutely shanks it out on the full.

Next up, the one, the onlyyyyyy“DAWESYYY!!!” who manages his second.

Finally West Coast gets their first goal through pretty boy LeCras, followed by another from number 31.

Jolly goes BANG! That’s three now for Jollywood, Fraser who?????

Tinkerbell ruins the party to send through his goal and LeCras follows the leader.

“DAISYYYYYYYY!!!!” kicks a THRILLER goal, which apparently is “NOT A GOAL?????!!!!”

Forgetting about my throat, annoyed as I am I exclaim- It was a goal YOU STUPID UMPIRE!! A GOAL!! A G-O-A-L!!!!!


And now, bring on the coughing fit.

Another goal to the Eagles, only my Magpies can let it slip, they always find a way.

Tarks gets his second on the end of a Travis set up.

Teamwork is the formula so far- Davis + Daisy + Clokey + Pendles = GOAL!!

Dawesy puts us up by 43 points and then Beamsy threads a cool one through.

“DIDAKKKK, woohooooo Daicos Magic baby, you champion Dids!!!!”

I think Australia could have used Didak for their World Cup campaign.

First the Daicos, then the soccer kick but oh ladies and gents, he’s not done yet-




The noise coming from the crowd explodes into my lounge room; it’s like I’m there as the crowd comes to life and Jolly sends them onto their feet, after his great strong grab right on the buzzer and converts a  banana tight angle goal.


……Poor BABY! He doesn’t want to get off the ground; he knows Mick isn’t going to play him next week….*enter feeling of heart breaking here*

It’s so sad……..

Jack seems to be trying run it out, even though he doesn’t look comfortable, and should be looked at by the trainers, he’s determined to stay out there and play, to do something, to show Mick he is worthy of his place! I hear you Jack, I HEAR YOU!!!

And the boys hear me, as I try to use my telepathy telling them to move forward, the more goals the better, we need a healthy percentage!

They move forward and hit a target, they hit Dawes and……………………………..


Two West Coast goals later the vibe has slowed until-

“LUKE BALL!! Yeahh!! GOAL from Lukey, Lukester THE LUKEMISTER!”

Yeah, as you can see I have pretty much lost all sanity and control!

This is what these boys do to me! I ride crazy with the highs and down with the lows.

I hope I didn’t damage too many ears with all my yelling. Lol

My newest quote-

“Top of the ladder, top of the world!”


Jolly – 3

Didak- 2

Dawes- 1


Dawes- 3


LeCras- 1

Shaw- ½

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo


  1. Steve Healy says

    Nice report Danni,

    im sorry to see that your crankier than usual.

    Anyway, I think you should phone Channel 10 for that claim as I think it’s unreasonable to ask channel 7 to broadcast 3 games a week (2 is already enough)

    Love the bold quotes and the nickname Jollywood, its funny since it was Collingwood’s ruck line up a few weeks back

  2. Danni,

    A question on your BOG votes: How the hell did Dane Swan not get in the votes? I know you love Dawes, but I think your POG votes are affecting your judgment for the BOG votes.

    I want to watch a Collingwood game with you some time. Or maybe I don’t, it will be either hilarious laughs or ear-splitting agony, or both!

  3. Probably both Adam.

    Great report Danni, I hear you with the throat infection. I seem to be coughing every minute, why do I always get sick in the holidays?

    Steve’s already said what I wanted to say, your Mum should be ringing Channel 10 and not Channel 7, and Jollywood is a great nickname for Jolly, although good work Steve on pointing out that Jolly and Wood become Jollywood.

    *cough cough* Hope your coughing gets better.

  4. By the way Adam, what are you doing on the Almanac at 1:39? Get to the MCG!

  5. Danielle says

    Thanks for the feedback fellas.

    Steve- Yes i get caught up in the moment and give the boys random names like LUKEMISTER lol :P

    Adam- To my defence everyone played so well and it was really hard to chose my BOG!! Swanny was deff in the mix but Jolly had a great game, Didak was brilliant, and Dawesy was so strong on the lead!! :)

    Joshy- arghhh don’t u just hate being sick, especially with the coughing it takes ages to fall asleep and last night when i was studying i had a bit of a dizzy moment. I hope u get well soon too!

  6. Great report Danni, Collingwood really took the life out of west coast.

    BTW- Daisy’s goal that was disallowed was surely over the line, wasn’t it?

  7. Danielle says

    Thanks Dom :)
    that Daisy goal, WAS A GOAL!!

  8. Danielle says
  9. It would be extremely funny if it was Lewis Jetta that had that goal disallowed.

  10. Andrew Fithall says


    You are obviously not the only one to have your own special awards:


  11. Danielle says

    Thanks for that Andrew! :) lol
    The funny thing is just last week i started to rate each player of every afl club out of ten, hopefully i will be done soon but it’s taking AGES! lol


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