Magpie win causes outbreak of Bieber Fever

Before the game even begins my dad manages to drown my hopes.

Pendles had just kicked his first when dad walked in shook his head and let out a defeated sigh. Because of channel seven the game isn’t shown live. I REFUSE to check the scores or listen on the radio because I need to see what’s happening for myself, no matter how delayed it starts.

“Don’t dad, DON’T SAY ANYTHING, I don’t want to know!!!”

He looks at me blankly “what you’re really going to watch it?”

I nod, he shrugs, and obviously they must be thrashing us.

However dad sits down and watches the game, this makes me a tad suspicious. Normally if it’s a lost cause he wouldn’t watch it and he’s know for his tricks. I’ll never forget the time he pranked me into thinking Medders was leaving Collingwood, I almost died.

I think nothing more of it and continue to watch the game as if he hasn’t said a thing.

It’s a contest early on back and forth, back and forth goes the footy.

Yarran provides the first for the blues. Dawes uses his big, Anthony Rocca like bod to bump his opponent out of his way, mark and kick a goal. Dawes reminds me so much of the young Anthony Rocca in his body shape. It’s like I look at Dawes but I think Rocca.

He’s been a good replacement up forward for Jack Anthony who kicked five goals, MICK FIVE GOALS, in the VFL this week.

Murphy slams one on the run unguarded, too easy.

Steele, with his gorgeous ‘I just woke up hair’ slots his first. Steele has been very impressive and he’s only 19!

Free kick to Medders! *SQUEALS* right in front, BAM!

O’hailpin gets his first, again another Blue left alone for too long!

COLL- 26           CARL- 20

A miss by Dawes, and then…LUKE BALL DOES SOMETHING!!  YAY!! AND, it’s on his non-preferred side! Daisy follows suite and kicks his own little number.

Medders intercepts an attempted Carlton clearance *SQUEALS* and smacks his second through! Next, Didak leaves me breathless, he’s such an artist! He threads through a slick, obedient beauty, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh JUST BEAUTIFUL!!”

Dad only nods.

The new Magpie Luke Ball gets his second and proves that he is handy- “Yeah stick it to em Saints Lukey!”

O’hailpin runs in after Reid falls over and kicks his second.


It ends with a Murphy goal and a Dawes goal, can’t see what dad is on about!

Surely we can’t mess it up from here.

COLL- 72            CARL- 44

Dad leaves to work during half time.

The commentators start referring to Dawes as Anthony Rocca, something that I had pointed out FIRST! Lol

O’hailpin, who really is starting to annoy me, manages to dribble one through.

I hate that guy but must admit he’s kinda pretty.

“AAGHHH BETTS!” (Insert swearing here)


I can’t say that I can’t believe this is happening because I can!

So we really can mess it up!

Mum chooses the worst time to ask me to fold the laundry and I snap at her like the seething Magpie that I am.


Number five goes through for O’hailpin. I’d pull out my hair but I need something for my hairdresser to work with.

I give Wellingham a pep talk as he goes in for goal and it works. *sigh*


I keep calm and composed as Steele bangs one…NOT, More like I squeal and jump around like I’ve won Tattslotto.

Then just to make the moment better, WOOOOO, DEFENDER GOAL!! HARRY O!

COLL- 110              CARL- 83

There’s no way we can mess it up from here, right?

Betts scores as his man O’Brien leaves him to cover for Toovey who slipped over!

*slaps head*

Reid gets a verbal blast from me for dropping a defensive mark right near Carlton’s goal.

Clokey slots one close to goal due to the amazing tackling pressure by my boys near our fifty.

BEAMSY!!! Fast flowing footy, work rate by Pendles and Beamsy has his second.

Consumed by the moment I unveil my Bieber Fever to celebrate Dawes kicking his third.

‘Dawesy, Dawesy, Dawesy OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Like Dawesy, Dawesy, Dawesy GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!’

After that small musical number Wellingham sets up converted Magpie Jolly, who adds his name to our long list of goal kickers.



‘Meddy, Meddy, Meddy OHHHHHHHHH!!! Like Meddy, Meddy, Meddy GOALLLLLLLLL!!’

Medhurst, happy with his effort and aware that he’s on the big screen grins cheekily,

leaving this Magpie swooning “AHHHHHH, HE’S SO FREAKING CUTE!!”

Just when I thought it couldn’t end any better Travis Cloke sends home a sealer but not just any old kick, a booming, long, high RIPPER!!!



COLL- 155             BLUES- 102

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo


  1. John Butler says

    Congrats Danielle

    The Pies were clearly the better side on the day. (ouch! that hurts!).

  2. Good report Danni, but I think you will know what part I don’t like about it..

    Although, the Dawes bit from Bieber’s song was pretty clever I will admit.

    Collingwood v North Melbourne next weekend. Bring it on.

  3. Danielle says

    Thanks guys!
    Gee JB that’s record time getting my piece up! :)
    i was worried your blues would come back and take over in the third but thank goodness my boys held on.

    Josh, bring it!

  4. Danni, the rules of the Almanac (written by J.Harms and P.Daffey circa 2007) clearly state in Appendix 7.2.5 that “No male teen pop singer is to be mentioned in any Almanac report under any circumstances” and that “Any Almanacker breaching this rule will be banned from writing reports for life, and will be excluded from all Almanac lunches and meetings, including the end of year launch”

    You get off though, simply because Justin Bieber barely counts as a teen.

  5. Danielle says

    4- Adam, you sound like a legal studies student…Appendix 7.2.5?
    paragraph blah..lines blah to blah, section yadda yadda!

  6. Who is Justin Beiber?

  7. Dave Nadel says

    Star of new Retro Channel 9 program Leave it to Beiber?

  8. Danielle says

    Dips! did u just ask WHO is JUSTIN BEIBER? lol
    find the nearest tween, ask her that and surely she’ll attack you for not knowing the love of her life.
    Dave, i believe you are thinking of Leave it to Beaver, funny family show i might add.
    For those still unsure of who exactly Justin Bieber is and want to hear the song i sang to after the Dawes and Medders goals follow this link.

    ps- he’s not 12, he’s really 16 years old!



  9. If you still want the use of your ears and eyes and sanity, do NOT watch that video in comment 8.

  10. Danielle says


    ‘Baby, Baby, baby ohhhhhh LIKE Baby,Baby,baby NOOOOOOOOOOOOO’

  11. Danielle – thanks for enlightening me, but from what you’ve described I think I would rather go to jail than listen to his song.

    FYI – I’m currently going through aggressive electro shock treatment to cure my nerves after one of my kids started playing Hannah Montana up loud. Ughhh.

  12. Danielle says

    11- Hahaha Dips, Hannah Monatana is so 2009!
    Soon enough your daugher will be blasting Bieber songs instead and u will miss the sound of Miley Cyrus and the bareness of her bedroom walls, which reminds me, i need to get myself a Beiber poster..

  13. Steve Healy says

    Danni, it was a very good piece up until you mentioned the devil!

    For your sin to be erased, you must pick up your 2009 footy bible and read Steve (Round)5:97-98.

  14. Danielle says

    i find the amount of boys that loath Mr.Bieber hilarious!
    i can see how he’s a threat.
    he’s cute, he can sing, he can dance and he’s a chick magnet,but come on there’s no need to hate his music.
    Steve, how could the devil be THAT cute?

  15. Steve Healy says

    Looks can be decieving.

  16. Damian Watson says

    Great work Danni,

    The Magpies were just too skilful for our boys, the work rate in regards to the midfielders Swan, Pendlebury, Sidebottom etc. was excellent.

    I feel sorry for your Dad, working on a Sunday.

    As for Justin Bieber-even Paris Hilton has more masculine features than the teenage singer.

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