If Nick Kyrgios was a horse?

If Nick Kyrgios
Was a horse
He’d be up
before the stewards
For throwing rackets
at Lleyton Hewitts

Pat would never do his lolly
Disgrace the Dunlop Volley
Nick finds a way
to lose
Try blinkers
or shock shod shoes?

Curses at the umpire’s chair
Makes Rochey lose more hair
Never know
when he’ll run dead
Electrical jigger
or have him gelded?


  1. Don’t know about the horse analogy Mr B, but I know what I’d do with him if he was a greyhound.

  2. Are you back in Pooncarie already Mr Wrap? Looking for more outlets for your rabbits? Been thrown out of all the pubs in Richmond? Regards to Darlene.

  3. It will just take the right trainer…
    I’m a Kyrgios fan. Sure, he is petulant and stupid at times, but he is only 22. And has led a life of tennis since he was a small child.
    But what a talent. Anyone who saw that semi-final would have been blown away by his skill. Losing to the world no.1 in a final is no disgrace regardless of the media focus on the antics early in the first.
    It will just take the right trainer.

  4. You talking Damien Hardwick here Smokie?

    But I agree with you. I don’t think I’ve seen a more exciting tennis player when he’s on song. Maybe the fragility comes with the gift. Who knows?

    Not quite back amongst the rabbits yet Mr B. Still got a couple of pubs to go. And I’ve still got a tab at the All Nations.

  5. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    If he stays clear of his family and gets a decent coach he could fire consistently.
    ‘Pat’ Cash would often do his lolly and so too did Little Lleyton in early days. Forgiven as great Aust tennis champs now.
    Could you imagine if NK enlisted Damir Dokic as his coach and manager? I might start watching tennis again…

  6. Wrap: the way Hardwick is going, he could probably get Nick K to play CHF for the Tigers at the moment!

  7. Put him over the jumps.

  8. Arguing with umpires and coach and refusing to be in ‘paddock’ (tennis court).

    He’s already a horse I think…

  9. Interesting range of views. $40K fine in Shanghai for refusing at the first hurdle???
    There are rock bottoms and there are ledges.
    Needs time mucking out stables.

  10. Smokie, on Grand Final Day, a 19 year old kicked three goals from three shots and dampened one of the main furnaces in the Crows’ boiler room.

    This goose, of 22 years, has earned enough money to retire and — apart from a few sports journos and their schadenfreude readership — would I be alone in wishing he would?

  11. bruce dowsing says

    Smokie, I understand NK has been a bit of a petulant one since under-age playing days. Perhaps some maturity and the right mentor can help remove his worst antics, but it appears after playing all his life he is struggling to decide whether he can handle the grind and discipline required now for world tennis. Anyone remember Nastase, MacEnroe, Connors, Hewitt etc? A sports psychologist might be what NK needs because he is burning the credits the tour has given his talent and potential to date.
    The Wrap, will that 19 year old Tiger, who happens to play with 17 supporting team mates every week, be able to repeat that performance every time he goes on the field? Sure, he kicked 3 goals but who kicked all the others to win the game? Not really a fair analogy to singles tennis where it is all on one to perform all the time. Makes the records of Federer and S Williams all the more admirable.

  12. We’re talking maturity here Bruce, not performance. And we’re talking chosen sport. And we’re talking God-given talent, he’s squandering his. Sorry Mate, I mark hard on arrogant pr**ks.

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