If i was an AFL coach….

In all honesty i can’t see the day where there will be a female AFL coach.

Just look at the other codes as proof. Soccer has the balding/salt and pepper haired, red faced animated males who look like they are about to explode on the sidelines from stress.

Same goes for tennis, majority of coaches are male, hello there rafa’s uncle tony! You dont see Federer’s coach having a fit on camera. Then we return to footy All male coaches and the rare female hidden the the back of the box probably thinking up a better game plan while tapping her short acrilic french nails on the matchup magnetic board.
The thought is pretty sad.
As a person who believes females have the ability to match males career wise, i can not see the AFL empolying a female senior coach.

I could see myself being a great coach and those who know me, and i mean REALLY know me all agree.
I can match the mentallity of an AFL coach- i hate losing, no… When im in charge or in control of an outcome i REFUSE to lose. Those who know me know how seriously competitive i am know i can be just as mean, cunning and nasty as i am sweet and kind, i aint the lady to mess with.
On the other hand im also just as ready to get the boys over a loss in fixing weaknesses and flaws to ensure a cleaner performance next week. In this sense I’m a stickler for perfection.

Strategy wise i know when a change needs to be made before things get worse…like yelling at Mick to make a switch on the Reid/Hawkins matchup 4mins into the 3rd qrt! -.- or more importantly picking players that are not bloody injured in the first place.

There is also something about female instict that comes in handy when picking good players. My uncle pointed out to me that majority of the players i find attractive when they first arrived to clubs became the flashy players later on. Eg- Pendles, Gibbs, Higgins, Selwood, Swallow, Martin, Cotchin, Monfries, N. Brown, Franklin.
Something about the female eye sees that prettyness = confidence = great players, which also can not harm the membership numbers and attendence female wise.

Picture this…
A coach who eats maxibons and drinks ice tea in the box instead of lollies and Powerade. A female coach who dresses with flair instead of the manish clothes they layer onto female commentators.
Imagine a nice pair of black stiletto pumps hastily strutting down to meet the players in the huddle, the stern female death stare through Gucci black frame glasses, the ‘im anxious’ hair ruffle in the glass reflection of the box,    The ‘lookin pretty’ glance up to the screen, the ‘not happy umpire’ pout and most importantly the ‘come here sonny’ finger wave complete with bubblegum pink nailpolish.
Qualities that only i can bring to the table as a coach of an AFL team, what’s not to like Mr Demetriou  ;)  ????

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo


  1. Danni, an old work colleague of mine, Peta Searle, may provide some competition.

    She’s been appointed as an assistant coach of Port Melbourne this season.

    Happy New Year :)

  2. Danni – you have my vote for Andy D’s job. Brownlow night would be something with you in stilleto’s and a black and white evening gown.
    “Round 22 – S Pendlebury 3 Votes” and then being the first AFL Chief to pash a Brownlow winner.
    You would be the right mix of head and heart to bring some sanity back to the game.

  3. JB- awesome!! :) same to you!

    Peter- lol!!! i would deffers have fun on the blue carpet.
    As for the winner Pendles’ missus, Alex is far too stunning and sweet, i would never intrude . i’ll leave the pashing to her haha :)

  4. Wow that’s a pretty impressive piece Danni,
    you made some very good points. You obviously
    have a great knowledge of footy, and if you do
    then I’m sure there’s plenty of other females
    in our great game that share the same knowledge.
    I’m all for woman in football, why not? If they are
    capable of matching it with the greats of the game
    then I can’t see any reason why they shouldn’t
    be involved in a hands on roll like coaching.
    It may happen one day, I hope it does, cause us
    blokes aren’t the only ones who live and breath
    footy. Good job chicky, if you ever coach Colligwood
    one day, let me in the rooms yeh? Haha :D

  5. VIP room pass for you Craig :)

  6. Jamie Simmons says

    As coach, would you be responsible for choosing the players’ training outfits? Hot pants and crop tops all round.
    Now that I think about it, from a merchandising point of view, female coaches has merit. No team would be allowed to wear the same outfit twice!

  7. LOL Jamie!
    Nah, im pretty happy with the training gear as it is, although that ballet training technique
    with players doing bouncing pirouettes HAS TO GO lol

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