I Don’t Like Mondays

With apologies to Bob Geldof, here’s my tweaking of the Boomtown Rats’ one hit wonder, inspired by the dwindling tree-falling-in-a-forest interest levels of the Carlton v St Kilda match on Monday night.

The silicon chip inside our heads
Gets switched to overload
And nobody’s gonna go to footy tonight
They’re making us want to stay at home
And Andy never understood it
He always said it was good as gold
And he can see no reasons
‘Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be show-ow-ow-ow-own?

Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-woo-woo-woo-oot the whole night down

The spin machine is kept so clean
And it tweets to a waiting world
Fans who’ve been ain’t that peachy keen
Now that ain’t so neat to admit defeat
They can see no reasons
‘Cuz there are no reasons
What reasons do you need?
Oh Oh oh whoa whoa

Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-woo-woo-oot
The whole night down, down, down, shoot it all down

And all the playing’s stopped at the footy ground now
They want to watch other sports a while
And the draw’s out early and soon we’ll be yearning
But the challenge today is how to go?
Coz’ then the pricing shackles
And the parent tackles
(With the problems of the hows and whens)
And they can see no reasons
‘Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to go, go?
Oh Oh Oh

Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like
I don’t like (Tell me why)
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like
I don’t like (Tell me why)
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-woo-woo-woot the whole night down

About Jeff Dowsing

Washed up former Inside Sport and Sunday Age Sport freelancer. Now just giving my stuff away to good homes. Not to worry, still have my health and day job. Published & unpublished works fester on my blog Write Line Fever.

Comments

  1. Great stuff JD. Must admit with Tuesday a public holiday here in Singers the whole Monday night football had me thinking the weekend had come and I was looking for more games to watch on Tuesday.

    With it not even on FTA TV – what is the point?

  2. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Thanks Jeff, very clever.

    If I were a pedant, I’d defend the Boomtown Rats one-hit-wonder status, but I’ll leave others to discover the joy of their first UK #1 – the faux-Springsteen “Rat Trap”, complete with its Docklands like references to “high rise blocks”

  3. Cheryl Critchley says

    Well done Jeff, you hit the nail on the head! Is there also a song about Thursdays??? :-)

  4. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Redgum – One More Boring Thursday Night in Adelaide

    (You can’t make this stuff up)

  5. The Wrap. says

    We had a couple of IT people over from Kerala on Monday night and I’d cooked them up a curry storm. The fire was blazing in the Wraplounge and we were all set to have our flourless orange cake dessert topped with passionfruit yoghurt in front of the telly while we explained the finer points of the Our Great Game to them. Guess what – no FTA broadcast. Spot on djlista – what’s the point?

    Great call JD. The introduction nailed it perfectly.

  6. Wonderful JD.
    Anyone caught even humming the tune in the corridors of Jellymont House will be charged with sedition and summarily shot.

  7. Stainless says

    Apparently Monday Night Football is a very big deal in the NFL. So of course the AFL has to copy it. Clearly it’s our fault that we don’t embrace this concept like our American brethren.

  8. MGLFerguson says

    “…Apparently Monday Night Football is a very big deal in the NFL….”

    Well, Monday Night Football used to be a very big deal in the NFL.

    From its inception in about 1970, the ABC (free-to-air) network’s program was usually the highest-rated program in the US television milieu, going back-and-forth in the ratings wars with Sunday night’s news magazine, 60 Minutes. It was all about being on a day with only one game on – particularly when the only other day professional football was played was Sunday. It was on TV in “prime time”, and didn’t compete with all the other things that weekend days compete with. MNF usually got “blockbuster” games for its schedule, as this was the (single) featured game in the weekly football schedule. A added to that was the fact that the players themselves were into it (and talked about it) because it was the only time when they could watch their peers play. As best as I can tell, MNF was like your Friday Night Footy, but more so because there was no dilution of (professional) games being played on Thursday or Friday or Saturday.

    In 2006, ESPN (a cable-only network) took over the Monday night franchise, when ABC (who shares the same parent company as ESPN) got out of the football business. At the same time, NBC (free-to-air) jumped back in to the football game (having been bumped out when Fox came into the mix) with a Sunday night game. For reasons which are not entirely clear, NBC’s game is now the Big Deal in the fan landscape, with that slot getting the marquee matchups, and NBC even has the right later in the season to “flex” games into that slot from whenever they had originally been scheduled as it becomes apparent that game would draw more viewers given how the season has developed.

    The abomination that is Thursday night games you can blame squarely on the NFL, which has been using that slot to spruik (did I use that word correctly? the language barrier is so hard sometimes) their own (cable-only) NFL Network. Nobody likes Thursday games except for the league’s accountants.

  9. Excellent, Jeff.

    One of Bob Geldof’s best songs is “The Great Song Of Indifference”
    which probably sums up the punters’ attitudes toward Monday
    and Thursday night footy.

  10. Thanks Smokie. Good get on that other song, I do remember it. Not the style of song to get much radio play now, or probably back when it was released!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CfxkFj8iAg

    After last night for me Thursday is the new Monday!

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