Hail to the Chief

The President sat in his Office and gazed across the Oval.

“Why doesn’t everybody see the world in Black and White like me?” he wondered.

He was President for life (Vlad or Kim down in legal could help him sort out the constitutional difficulties later) but he was frustrated at the lack of results.

The People want me to Make AFL Great Again, but I am being stymied by those midgets on the Hill.  They filibuster our forward line and pass legislation to ruin our game plan.

Multicultural Round?  Tell ‘em we’re building a defensive wall to keep them out.

I have announced a full, complete and independent inquiry into who is letting me down.  What more can I do?  I had to call my Chief Executive in this week and tell him that I needed him to spend more time with his family.

Do I have to do everything around here?  I hired The Apprentice to get me another title but he only disappoints me. I’ll have to tell him “You’re Fired” if this keeps up.

I only Wanted to be a Billionaire, but every time I try to get out they keep dragging me back in.

Why do I have to do all my own PR?  I need a new Communications Director.  One who tells it like it is, just like me.  Head of the Congress?  “He’s a f….n paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac.”

A Communications Director who can get me on all the TV shows.  On all of the Channels.  Reality, news, sport, kids – the lot.  Come to think of it, why do we need so many different media outlets?  More fake news?  One pay and one free to air should be enough for anyone.  And one radio station.  I can only spread myself so thin.

If things don’t improve soon I’ll quit this job.  Blow the whole place up to show the ungrateful b…..ds that they didn’t deserve me.

I might move to Australia.  Melbourne is a nice town.  Great golf courses that I could own.  And there is a football team there where my friend needs a little help.

Starts singing…….

We’ll save Australia
Don’t want to hurt no kangaroo
We’ll build an all American amusement park there
They’ve got football, too

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