Gigs’ Stats: Round 9

by Andrew Gigacz

 

 

Round 9 was officially Indigenous Round but it could have just as aptly been named Paradox Round. With St Kilda in danger of losing their first game of the season until deep in the last quarter against Brisbane, and Geelong relying on a post-final-siren miss by the Bulldogs Brad Johnson to maintain their unbeaten run, it appeared that the gap between the two power sides of 2009 and the next tier had narrowed. But the reality is, with four games separating second and third on the ladder, the gulf between the top two teams and the rest has become a chasm (unless you believe a gulf is wider than a chasm, in which case the chasm has become a gulf).

 

A four game gap between two adjacent spots on the ladder is a rarity even late in the season and it has never occurred as early in the season as Round 9 until now. St Kilda and Geelong are now an incredible 16 points clear of the next best teams, and have become the first pair of clubs ever to be undefeated after Round 9 in the same season.

 

St Kilda’s “reward” for their come from behind victory was to have about 12 points knocked off their percentage. It is now a measly 183.8.

 

In Geelong’s victory over the Bulldogs it was “Round 9 business as usual” for Brad Johnson as for the second year running he missed a shot at goal after the siren that would have given the Dogs a round 9 victory.

 

FORTY POINT MARGIN A GOOD (ALPHA) BET

 

In the Indigenous Round showpiece game, The Bombers ran away from Richmond in the last quarter to win by 40 points. This would have been a margin far better suited to the West Coast-Collingwood game, as the number forty is the only one which, when spelt in English, has its letters in alphabetical order, The only surname in current AFL lists that has the same quality is Cox and there was one playing for each of West Coast (Dean) and Collingwood (Shannon) on Saturday night.

 

MAGPIES TAKE THE ANCP CUP

 

As it was the final score in the Eagles-Magpies match was 66 to 88, a scoreline that might have had many people believing the two sides were playing for the Australian National Car Parks Cup. (Australian National Car Parks are a private firm that “charge” car park users $66 for spending five minutes in one of their “free” car parks if they accidentally miss the sign and don’t display a valid ticket. This undoubtedly entirely reasonable amount represents “liquidated damages” to this fine upstanding company. The figure rises to a perfectly understandable $88 dollars if you forget to pay within two weeks.)

 

THE INS AND OUTS OF THIS WEEK’S INS AND OUTS

 

An incredible six players selected for round nine were late withdrawals. Heath Scotland (Carl), Mark Le Cras (West Coast), Ben Reid (Collingwood), Will Thursfield (Rich), Lewis Roberts-Thomson (Syd), and Albert Proud (Bris) are now reported to be ruing their collective decision to partake in last Friday’s International Three-Legged Race World Championships.

 

LUDICROUS EXTRAPOLATION OF THE ROUND

 

Despite a pretty abysmal effort against Sydney, Port Adelaide managed to improve their goal tally in each quarter, scoring 1, 2, 3 and 4 goals. If they continue this rate of improvement over the remaining 52 quarters of their season, they will score 418 goals in their Round 22 match against North Melbourne.

 

THE MARGINAL MEDAL.

 

As well as Friday night’s 2 point result, this week featured margins that were multiples of 22. We had two 22 point results (Collingwood over west Coast and Hawthorn over Melbourne) and a 44 point game (Adelaide over Carlton). The two 22’s took that margin to an overall total of three, which means it has joined the growing throng of equal leaders in this race. The others are 4, 8, 17, 19 and 43. The climax to the Marginal Medal count could be one of the most exciting in history.  (For those who find the first Monday night in September interminable, read “even more boring than the Brownlow Medal count”.) Still missing in action this year are margins of 0, 1 and 6.

 

SCORE WARS – Round 9 Update

 

116 and 104 have made a move this week. Each was registered once for a season total of 5, just one behind currently leader 90.

 

And in other exciting score news: Home teams took a particular liking to kicking 12 to 15 behinds this week. Geelong, North Melbourne and Adelaide all scored 14 behinds, Richmond and St Kilda both scored 13, and West Coast and Hawthorn both notched up 12. The Swans kicked 15.

 

THIS WEEK’S VINTAGE YEAR

 

Quarter-by-quarter, Brisbane scored 1, 4, 5 and 3 goals in their loss to St Kilda.  This was in fact a cryptic tribute to the year of the Brisbane Lions’ foundation, 1997. In the Gregorian calendar (that’s the one we use in Western countries), 1453 is equivalent to the year 1997 in the Buddhist calendar.

 

POSTCODE OF THE WEEK

 

Fremantle scored a behind sequence of 5,2,3,3 against North on Saturday. This was a tribute to the new blond bombshell of the opposition team, Ben Warren. Although Ben hails from Queensland, the South Australian town of Warren has a postcode of 5233.

 

THIS WEEK’S RIDICULOUS FOOTY ANAGRAM:

 

The Cats got over the line against the Dogs on Friday night thanks largely to a late goal by Travis Varcoe. While he is not exactly a short player, Varcoe is often cast in the role of a rover and his match-winning major on Friday night was a classic crumber’s goal. Appropriate then, that Travis Varcoe is an anagram of “CATS VIA ROVER…”