Fox Footy Banter … blah blah!

Fox Footy commentators sound like they’re on the couch at a bbq commenting on how good footy was in their day. It’s particularly frustrating to hear them dismiss player restraint and duty of care with something like: ‘it’s not like it used to be … guffaw guffaw!’

They were, almost to a man, tough, but you wouldn’t say they should be proud of some of the things they did. Dermie stood up in a GF when no one could have expected him to, but he knocked players out when no one could have expected him to.

‘Eyes only for the ball’ is something he lauds at times now, but when he played he sold more cheap shots than Coles. Down, down, they’re goin’ down.

But it’s the constant banter. Actually banter over-rates their chit chat.

They weren’t hired for their raconteur wit. Do I want to hear how Brownie rates his Lions v today’s Hawks? Sure, but not during the game. The question is worth a good one minute answer and sure enough Brownie doesn’t spare us.  BUT THERE’S A GAME GOING ON!

Russell and Dunstall talk about how many jumpers with Dangerfield’s no 35 they’ve seen around the stadium. Not a riveting subject; barely worth a throwaway line in the commentary. Cometti would hand it out between handballs.  These guys labour the pointless.

I know it’s pre-season and there’s nothing on the line for people outside the clubs playing, but you turn on the footy to see and hear the footy.

Sometimes you need to look at the shirt you’re ironing, or the pie you’re saucing.  You want to hear what’s going on, not how long it is till Round 1, or where this guy is from and what they do there.  And you do want to hear the young ‘uns in the call.

It’s not that interesting to hear how Rioli is going in the pre-season.

They should call it like it is, not begin with the judgement that it isn’t worthy of their time.  There’s a fine line between a relaxed call of the ball and disinterested disrespect for the efforts of those involved. Dermie’s drawn lines in the sand before but this stuff is shifting

If they’re bored that’s understandable. Take a break. Blood some young or old witty commentators.

I find myself turning the sound down to listen to Triple J, and they haven’t even got the footy on!

There’s something Dennis can do when he’s retired – found the Cometti Commentator School. I know some guys who could do with a course.

About Simon Dix-Draper

Hawks since '71. Don't believe in curses. Gave to keep 'em alive in '96 (was it that long ago). Looking forward to a big season - one game at a time.


  1. Whilst we’re talking Footy and the media ,it was good to read in the Saturday Age re Ian Turner, he who coined the phrase “The Barassi Line”. Interestingly the same paper had an article on Luke Breust, who is from Temora, a town deemed to be over the “Barassi Line”.

    Interesting reading.


  2. The point is the fox footy commentators have become lazy fat cats who provide zero insight into the game and call the game for themselves , not for the viewers. Hudson and Brereton are bloody awful. They sit there with the media guide in front of them and offer no original ideas. However, if you listen to Chris Connolly, his enthusiasm is bloody magnificent and you could listen to his opinions on the game all day long. He has real enthusiasm and it shows. Fox Footy, lift, you bloody lazy fat cats

  3. Nice piece., good observations.
    In my humble opinion, football commentating has become a cookie cutter, stereotype.
    Footballers “plonking” themselves on a couch have only those who come before them to copy. Its a cycle.
    Dermot has lost his colour and relies on “boys club banter” to get him through and others are following. I think this is the problem. I am starting to think Dermot covers up for a lack of modern football knowledge. Just my opinion.
    Maybe even Bruce has lost his magic as well and has fallen under the spell of “i haven’t played so I am not worthy”. If I hear him ask another rhetorical question in a game, I think I just might explode.

  4. The Dennis Cometti Commentator School for Ex-footballers Who Can’t Commentate Good and Wanna Learn How to Say Other Good Stuff Too.

    Yep, it’s a no-brainer!

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