Footy’s Coming

Footy’s Coming

To the tune of Johnny Cash’s ‘Busted’

By Phil Dimitriadis

Cricket and tennis aren’t my kind of drugs.

Hauritz and Federer don’t inspire group hugs.

Footy’s Coming.

Serena took off, along with her bling.

Caro and Wallsy are still hibernating.

But,Footy’s coming.

My daughter brought home a boy from school.

I got sunstroke, fell asleep at the pool.

Footy’s coming.

I let my hair grow to see what was left.

A once mighty kingdom, now remote and bereft.

Footy’s coming.

My wife often says: “Your world view is askew.”

“Why don’t you find something useful to do?”

I tell her: “Footy’s Coming!”

I went to the gym to try and lose my gut.

Gave up the booze, but still felt in a rut.

Footy’s coming.

February comes, the machine cranks a gear.

AFL news, brand new hope for this year.

Footy’s coming.

Mike Sheahan is taking the moral high ground.

Matty Stokes is avoiding pesky news hounds.

Footy’s coming.

“This is our year”, full of cheer say the fans.

In February there are no also rans.

Footy’s Coming.

The players have had their “best pre-season yet”.

Hitting the weights, expectations to be met.

Footy’s coming.

The Adelaide Crows and Neil Craig have to lift.

Brisbane and Fev, another gear they must shift.

Footy’s coming.

Carlton have ripped off an old wrestling tag.

Pie fans believe that the flag’s in the bag.

Footy’s coming.

The Bombers have hoards of young talent on show.

Freo must climb or Harvey will get the heave ho.

Footy’s coming.

The Cats are looking at three out of four.

At Hawthorn will someone show Jeffrey the door?

Footy’s coming.

Melbourne have got to get up from the rear.

Shinboners are dead replaced by corporate gear.

Footy’s coming.

The Power have invested in a 7 year old’s vision.

Richmond just want a season free from derision.

Footy’s coming.

The Saints are a whisker away from a flag.

Sydney must shake off it’s ugly duckling tag.

Footy’s coming.

West Coast are building a drug free empire.

The Doggies have got Big Barry esquire.

Footy’s coming.

And now as I leave you in anticipation.

It’s time to unleash your imagination.

Footy’s coming.

About Phillip Dimitriadis

Carer/Teacher/Writer. Author of Fandemic: Travels in Footy Mythology. World view influenced by Johnny Cash, Krishnamurti, Larry David, Toni Morrison and Billy Picken.


  1. Phil Dimitriadis says

    I was wrong. Caro has awoken and of course taken her big stick to Stokes, Geelong and the AFL in today’s AGE. Sheahan and Caro have become the Fred Niles’ of Footy Journalism. So Predictable.

  2. Phil Dimitriadis says

    She even had a go at Stokes’ “sleazy moustache”. Does this mean all blokes with mo’s are sleazy? If I had a mo I’d be highly offended.

  3. John Butler says


    If we’re getting onto that particular topic, maybe the tune needs to change to Folsom Prison Blues.

  4. on the above reference to Folsom Prison Blues

    I hear the games a cummin

    the NAB cups on 10

    If I hear Malcolm Blight say one more time

    why would you do that then??

  5. james gilchrist says

    Beautifully done PD. Poetic with an almost child-like enthusiasm. I’m over Caro too.

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