VAFA – B Section: Fitzroy v St Kevins

I have a new mobile phone that is the bees’ knees. It has a bull dust eliminator and, best of all; the battery lasts for over a week. The battery lasts even longer when I do not turn the phone on for several days. Unfortunately, for the Boys from Old Fitzroy, our forward line has not lasted out the season. Pickers, and the rest of them are all injured and will not be back this season. What a change it was from the first game of the year, when we had a full list, and we ran over the top of St Kevins like a run-away steam engine.

Indeed this season reminds me of the Greek myth of Tantulus ( I may have misspelt that word). Tantulus was chained up, for a sin I cannot remember, next to a tree laden with the most delectable fruit. However whenever he reached up to snaffle a bit of fruit, the branches of the tree would recoil away, taking the fruit out of his reach. Once he gave up trying to eat, the branches would return the fruit to their original position, right next to him. He was standing in a pool of water but, whenever he stooped down to drink, the water would recede away from him so he could not drink either.

We at the Brunswick Street Oval know we have a team, that with all players fit, would be finals bound, but injuries have cruelled our chances. Finals were so close but are now receding from our grasp.

There was a lunch on at the BSO on Saturday but I was caught up at work so I did not attend. The room was full again and this is reason for optimism, going forward. I hate the expression ‘going forward’ . It’s an American phrase and so is grammatically incorrect. I prefer to say ‘in the future’ but I live in the past.

The match opened up with Fitzroy kicking to the Brunswick Street end, into a slight breeze. St Kevins scored a few goals, capitalising on some Fitzroy turnovers but we were in the game, competing hard, making them earn their kicks. The first quarter was the ‘quarter of the big fist’. From the Tramconductors site, behind the goals, the big fist of Garry McCarthy seemed to dominate the air much like the raised fist of the Statue of Liberty dominates the shore line of New York. Forward would go St Kevins and wack would go another McCarthy spoil. It meant we went in at quarter time a few goals down but with the wind in the second quarter.

We opened the second quarter with a big mark and goal from Cuzzie and, for ten minutes, anything seemed possible. We were pressing forward but without success. Brad from Tarnet remarked that ‘the next goal is pivotal’. They scored the next goal in a way that sums up the season. We have a new ruckman, who played quite well, but is playing out of his league. Their captain, a man mountain, monstered our ruckman out of the way at a boundary throw in, grabbed the ball and snapped a goal. As we lose nearly all tap outs, our on-ballers were rightly looking to their opponents rather than looking to tackle the ruckman.

We were still in it at half time but a series of bad misses for goal in the third quarter snuffed out any chance we had to threaten St Kevins. Our forays, forward and more often sidewards, either made one laugh or cry. Two things from the last quarter: ‘Won’t He Fenton’ was our best ‘lead-up forward’ and Dillon Patcas must be the smallest full forward ever at the BSO. Oh, by the way ‘Won’t He’ handballed off to a bloke who missed the goal. I am now owed twenty smackaroos.

The way the results fell on the weekend ensure another year in B Grade so not all is lost. I do not want the fate that fell to Echo (Greek goddess, in love with Narcissus) but we need forwards, forwards, forwards, love me, forwards.

See you all at next week’s match; go the Roys

PS. We played much better than Brisbane did at Etihad on Sunday. A worse football match would be hard to find.

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