Fitzroy move to second and don’t worry about bleeding

That wanker, and recipient of a medal from that great promoter of democracy and freedom the USSR, Manning Clark banged on about “blood on the wattle” in his History of Australia. On Saturday there was blood on the table in front of me. There was blood on the tablecloth in front of me. There was blood on my “Amateur Footballer” record which drew the attention of Claire Adams the partner of Smailey, the captain of our 1980 premiership side.

Why was I bleeding? It revolved around the pizzas that I cooked for Mrs Derrinalphil and the offspring on Friday night. I use a few things including an antipasto mix, Bulgarian fetta and canned pineapple. One of my boys likes pineapple, and I know that it sounds so La Trobe University, but I am an equal opportunity Dad. I put a spoon in each of the various tubs of ingredients but I dropped the one in the canned pineapple slices onto the floor. Too lazy to get another spoon I plunged my hang into the can and cut my left, little pinkie. Now I always tell my patients, after having an implant placed or having a tooth out, that I only worry about bleeding I can hear!!!!! Claire had no sympathy for me. She reckoned if you are stupid enough to spoil a pizza by putting pineapple on it you get what you deserve.

The Royboys (just added “Royboys” to the spell checker thingo) cut Rupertswood apart on Saturday winning by fifty points despite, once again, allowing several easy goals late in the game. There was blood on the W T Peterson Community Oval but, it was the blue blood of the Rupertswood players, and not the Red blood of our Redders. Our Boys had no sympathy for the opposition and were all over them, physically, all day.

But let’s start at the start which was the luncheon hosted at the ground by the Reds Foundation. A full room again to hear one of our old coaches, David Parkin, talk about his prostate and coaching career at Fitzroy. Now this bloke is a member of Fitzroy and obviously remembers his time at Fitzroy fondly, remarking that the group of blokes at the club in 1986 were the best lot of players that he was ever associated with. I noticed that our President Joan was serving on the table which, on the day that we honoured one of our volunteers, is a symbol of an amateur footy club.

Parko was talking about men’s health which today means prostate disease. Eighty per cent of eighty year olds have prostatic cancer; ninety per cent of ninety year olds have it and who cares about centurions. He did have a point about knowing what your parent died from but the big killer of men is vascular disease, stroke and heart attack, and this should be the focus of any campaign in men’s health. I have a terrible family history of stomach cancer which claimed my Mom, Grandmother, one uncle and one auntie. There was little on Saturday that upset my stomach as Fitzroy, by the end of the day, moved into second spot on the Premier C Ladder. Finals here we come.

The game opened with Rupertswood having plenty of the ball but then the engine room fired up. The twin turbines of Rory and Luke Ablett went into over drive. Rory got in front of the ball, brushed aside a tackle, went long into centre half forward. A smother by Ablett, a tackle by Ablett, a goal by Ablett. Doesn’t he kick beautifully? Straight out of the centre, Two Dads to Rory, Sam Baker on the spillage this time, straight through, thanks for coming.

John Clark (The Eastern Distributor) played his one hundredth game for the club (I think he has four more senior games for one hundred senior games). His first quarter was outstanding as he won the “one on ones” and distributed the ball to the East. I hope that being hit on the chest isn’t found to be a men’s health hazard as quite a few Fitzroy players had The Eastern Distributor serving them the ball on a platter.

Two new blokes caught my eye: Nick Marshall and Scott Cations. Both are only knee high to a grass hopper but are strong over the ball, use it well and I like the look of the long sleeves. Why more players don’t wear them beats me.

The match had fizzled out as a contest by half time. The Rupertswood coach, Dave Barry, remarked that he thought that his side lifted their intensity after half time and that we were the best team they have played this year. Mark from Bayswater left half way through the last quarter. He had had enough. It was getting boring. Imagine that. We are getting used to winning!!!!!!!!


  1. John Harms says

    Phil, you never struck me as one who’d succumb to News Ltd’s propaganda. CMH Clark…really?

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