Finals Week 3 – Collingwood v Brisbane: That is that! Goodbye Pies

 

 

 

 

That is that! – Goodbye Pies.

 

A former work colleague of mine, an astute football observer and self-confessed Magpie tragic (with a full set of teeth) headed into September with much optimism and excitement after his beloved Pies finished the home and away season inside the top four. A Qualifying Final against ladder leader, the Adelaide Crows, beckoned.

 

A trip to the Adelaide Oval is a daunting task. If only the Pies could get over an in-form Crows’ outfit stacked with the much lauded three talls up forward, one of the Brownlow favorites in former Swan (how did they let him go?) Jordan Dawson and of course the maniacal Crows fans who are surely worth a couple of goals with their unabated and unrelenting affirmational cheering.

 

But with weight of expectation, the Izak Rankine furor hanging heavily over the club and Walker, Thilthorpe and Fogarty failing to fire a shot the Pies stunned the home crowd with a commanding 24-point victory.

My good friend shared the following assessment to a small army of like-minded fanatics via something called WhatsApp.

 

“Could Billy Frampton become the worst dual Premiership player ever? Were the Pies lying down the last seven games of the season? What are we tragics going to do next weekend? These and many other questions are being pondered after last night’s cracking win.”

 

Many questions indeed.

 

“Talking of transformations, what the hell did Darcy Moore do during the bye? He looked like a bloke who last played for us in 2023. Same with Quaynor – the whole backline was back to its best in fact. And what about the tackling? Ferocious doesn’t do it justice. Manic might. Kmart Dusty has always been a cruel name for JDG because, like the real Dusty, the guy lives for September. I think I could hear him out of the tele saying “Get out of my way you gumbies!”

 

“Billy (Elliot) must have borrowed Michael Jackson’s hyperbaric chamber during the break because he looked five years younger. Sidey clearly lives in one these days because he looked 15 years younger all season. If it wasn’t for his bald head, you’d be checking his ID. Fair dinkum astonishing.”

 

“And I know it doesn’t count for votes, but if Nick Daicos doesn’t win the Brownlow by the length of Punt Road this year, then that award is truly a joke. He and Ned Long took their own Sherrin’s to Adelaide.”

 

Final word on that joint.

 

“I’m not sure there’s anything better in footy than going over there and leaving those moronic fans (coming from a Collingwood supporter mind you!) in tears at the end of it. No doubt they’ll spend the weekend whining – if they are not butchering people in bizarre ways including burying bodies in old banks and drowning undesirables in that pitiful river.”

 

Whack! Apologies to our Almanac friends in the city of Churches.

 

Straight into a home preliminary final and one game from an appearance on the last Saturday in September my articulate and emotive mate was primed for a Preliminary Final against a Lions outfit without Lachie Neal and two inexperienced forwards who surely would crumble under the heat of a big final at the ‘G’ in front of 95,000.

 

Alas, it wasn’t to be. Not a good start with Pendles calf ‘awareness’ (whatever that means) in the pre-game warm-up. He lasted five minutes – then off.

 

Back to my old mate.

 

He goes to the footy with the same bunch of Pies fans each week, they meet at the Duke of Wellington beforehand for a frothy one (or two) and walk in unison to the ‘G’. The morning after every game he sends them a review. Here is his review of the Pies performance last Saturday.

 

Strap yourself in!

 

“And so, as the guy who shot Tommy De Vito in Goodfellas said – that is that! 2025 is in the books and a year that looked so promising ultimately ended in more disappointment. We lost six of our last nine games and blew a golden chance for a record seventeenth flag.

 

As it stands, Geelong is now poised to win it instead, and stamp itself as the dominant club of the past 25 years. Just let that sit in your guts and try not to puke everywhere. I’ll give you the tip, it’s medically impossible.

 

On Tuesday I’m heading to Sydney ostensibly for work but in reality, I couldn’t stomach being in Melbourne this week. We should be there, but we are not. Second quarter aside, last night’s game summed up the last third of our season. Too few blokes doing way too much, injuries to the wrong players at the wrong time and a lack of firepower. Not just up forward but in the engine room.

 

Confidence ebbed away and it showed last night in that passage of play where Elliot should have got a free but didn’t. My question is not for the umps (who were terrible all night) but for Membrey. Why didn’t you have a shot at goal yourself you cretin? We played similarly dumb football right across the second half and Brisbane seemed almost surprised to back in it after we wrestled momentum.

 

Good sides don’t need another invitation, and they took their chances as we fluffed ours.

 

Credit to the Daicos brothers, Billy, DC, Sidey and Shoota (Lachie Shultz) who never stopped cracking in all year. Effort with a capital E. It was worth a gamble with an ageing list, but it is done. It’s time to refresh and that means making some hard decisions on some blokes while they have value.

 

Older blokes get a game on merit next year or play reserves. I couldn’t be less interested in Pendlebury or Crisp’s records. Big deal! The latter has been stinking it up along with Mihocek for too long, yet they continue to play ahead of others who could consider themselves a bit stiff – Parker, Will HE, McStay and Allan come to mind.

 

Pendles broke down at a critical time which just proves yet again that time waits for nobody.

 

There’s a dozen on the list with potential so let’s just play them and see if we can prise a few from elsewhere. I don’t care if we have to take a step back to go forward. We all know what the definition of insanity is.

 

Finally, a word about Hill. It’s tempting to ponder whether he should’ve played but we shouldn’t. Not for a second. He didn’t deserve it and to have played him would’ve compromised our culture. And culture as we know, eats strategy for breakfast. So, plaudits for that.

 

Be ruthless over the off season, throw sentiment out the window, invest in youth, throw McCreey into the guts and train your arses off over summer.”

 

Some wise counsel from my learned friend.

 

And a final word about the upcoming Grand Final between the Cats and the Lions?

 

“I’m barracking for a big Brisbane win next week. And if the footy gods are worth anything, surely, they will be too. Fagan or Scott? I know who I’d prefer to have living next door to me. Fagan would at least look after your dog while you’re away without complaining about it. That other would’ve had it impounded by the council for taking a dump on the pavement and instigated legal action against you by the time you got home. And he’d be whinging non-stop to the rest of the street about it.”

 

“I hope the Lions tear the Pussies to shreds!”

 

They are a passionate lot our Carringbush friends.

Goodbye Pies see you next year.

 

COLLINGWOOD     1.1   7.1    9.4   11.5 (71)
BRISBANE             4.3   4.6   11.9   15.10 (100)

 

GOALS
Collingwood: Elliott 4, Membrey 2, Cox 2, Schultz, Lipinski, Houston
Brisbane: Gallop 3, Bailey 2, Rayner 2, W. Ashcroft 2, Dunkley, Morris, McCluggage, Cameron, Lohman, Zorko

 

BEST
Collingwood: N. Daicos, J. Daicos, Elliott, Sidebottom, Cox
Brisbane: McCluggage, Bailey, Wilmont, Ashcroft, Zorko

 

INJURIES
Collingwood: Scott Pendlebury (calf)
Brisbane: Jarrod Berry (shoulder)

 

SUBSTITUTES
Collingwood: Roan Steele (replaced Scott Pendlebury in the first quarter)
Brisbane: Bruce Reville (replaced Jarrod Berry in the second quarter)

 

Crowd: 96,023 at the MCG

 

 

More revelations from Richard Griffiths can be read HERE.

 

 

 

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