EPL: Hammers hammmered by rampaging Swansea


Swansea 3-0 West Ham


What an amazing start to the season for Swansea. Eight goals in their first two games after managing just 44 last season. West Ham was humiliated in their second outing back in the big time. Early on it was the Hammers making all the running as Swansea continually turned over possession, but on 20 minutes Kieran Dyer found Angel Rangel who fired low which Jaaskelainen should’ve saved. Swansea made it two in just eight minutes when a shocking back pass from James Collins allowed Michu to cut it off and slot the ball into the bottom left hand corner. West Ham had several chances to get themselves back into the game with a sublime close range volley from Jarvis being terrifically saved by Vorm. The East Londoners perhaps came closest to scoring when Carlton Cole’s wonderful header was cleared off the line by Leon Britton. Danny Graham should’ve made it 3-0 early in the second half but narrowly missed a one-on-one opportunity. Graham did make up for the missed chance though, scoring in the 63rd minute after some wonderful link up work between Routledge and Dyer. Another fabulous performance from Swansea who is already showing improvement from the last campaign. West Ham will be disappointed not to have taken their chances.


Man of the Match: Kieran Dyer. Dyer was simply sensational in the middle of the park for Swansea, and was by far best afield. Constantly a goal threat and was always the head of Swansea attacks.

Chelsea 4-2 Reading

A win that was definitely expected from most of the footballing world, but not exactly how Chelsea had planned. Eden Hazard won his second penalty in as many games after 17 minutes – Frank Lampard drilled the ball into the bottom left hand corner of the net. Reading then proceeded to score twice in the space of four minutes. Pogrebnyak (25’)won an aerial battle against Cahill to head home, then Danny Guthrie’s powerful free kick (29’)was too hot for Cech to handle. Incredibly Reading were now leading at Stamford Bridge and an upset was on the cards until in the 69th minute when Chelsea managed an equaliser with Gary Cahill’s long range effort swerving into the bottom right corner. Then with just under ten minutes to go, Ashley Cole’s wonderful cross was tapped in by Torres from close range. Chelsea then finished the comeback five minutes into second half stoppage time when Hazard broke away and put the ball on a plate for an easy Ivanovic goal. In the end it was a good win for Chelsea, coming from 2-1 down at home. Reading will take a lot of credit away from this loss, scoring twice away against the European champions being no easy task, and a good achievement for a newly promoted team.

Man of the Match: Eden Hazard. On his home debut he was fantastic, with the game in the palm of his hand and showing true class.

Manchester United 3-2 Fulham

After a 1-0 loss in their first game of the season, the Red Devils gave Robin Van Persie his first start in a Manchester United jersey. Fulham were coming off a five goal opening day win over Norwich. Old Trafford was silenced after just a minute and half when a low free kick on the edge of the area was simply finished by Damien Duff. The home side soon equalised when Robin Van Persie flicked a delightful half volley into the far right corner of the goal. United then took the lead on 35 minutes when  Van Persie’s corner parried out only far as Tom Cleverly, whose powerful shot was diverted by Schwarzer straight into the path of Shinji Kagawa to score on his home debut. United then added a third six minutes later when Ashley Young’s cross to the back post found the head of Brazilian full back Rafael, who’d had a goal disallowed for being offside just three minutes prior. In the second half, United controlled the game for the first fifteen minutes until, on 64 minutes, Briggs’ cross, which De Gea should have taken care of, took a deflection off Nemanja Vidics’ heel, to make it 3-2. Wayne Rooney came on three minutes after the goal, but to no impact. De Gea saved late shots from Ruiz and Dembele, as United prevailed to a 3-2 victory. It wasn’t all sweet for the victors though, as Wayne Rooney suffered a large gash in stoppage time that Sir Alex Ferguson said would keep United’s talisman out for up to a month. Overall, United did it easily, with Shinji Kagawa running the show, while Moussa Dembele once again proved that he’s one of the most underrated players in the league.

Man of the Match: Shinji Kagawa. On his home debut he was sublime, really controlled the midfield and was a constant threat to the Fulham back four.

Aston Villa 1-3 Everton

Coming off the back of a successful opening day victory over Manchester United, Everton were confident of another win away at Aston Villa. Villa may not have been as confident, coming off a 1-0 loss to newly promoted West Ham. It took Everton just under three minutes to get the ball rolling as Steven Pienaar scored a fantastic goal from just outside the 18 yard box. Everton then made it 2-0 just after the half hour mark when Phil Jagielka beautifully crossed from the right and Shay Given produced a howler to allow Marouane Fellaini to head home. Everton then finished off the first half wonderfully, when Baines found Jelavic, and Jelavic smashed a near-post shot past Shay Given. Australian Brett Holman came on at half time, but on 58 minutes, Villa were reduced to ten men. Clark fouled Jelavic as he charged toward goal, and being last man, was sent off. Villa did score a consolation goal, when on 74 minutes, El Ahmadi’s long range shot swerved past Howard. Villa continued to bear down on the Everton goal, although it was too little too late. Another good win for the Toffees but there are early worry signs for Aston Villa.

Man of the Match: Marouane Fellaini. The Belgium international was once again sublime and really orchestrated the Everton win.

Norwich 1-1 QPR

The major question that both Norwich and QPR will be asking themselves after this is; ‘how did Norwich not win?’ Norwich were fantastic, they applied constant pressure to the QPR goal, but just could not convert their chances. Norwich did take the lead after just eleven minutes, through Simeon Jackson. Anthony Pilkington’s ball across the six yard box was nodded in by Jackson after fantastic build-up play by the Canaries. It took just eight minutes for QPR to find an equaliser though, when Bassong tackled Djibril Cisse from behind to concede a penalty. Cisse took the penalty, but John Ruddy parried it into the post only for Bobby Zamora to pounce on the loose ball and score. Before half-time, Green pulled off two decent saves, first from Pilkington, then a terrific save from a Robert Snodgrass effort that was destined for the top corner. Soon after the interval, first Jackson, then Bassong, both missed fine opportunities to put the home side ahead. With twenty minutes to go, Snodgrass missed the opportunity of the match when he headed over the cross bar and then Russell Martin’s looping header crashed into the cross bar. Despite two late attacking substitutions, Norwich were forced into sharing the points.

Man of the Match: Simeon Jackson. Scored the goal for Norwich and was unlucky a couple of times. Solid performance.

Tottenham 1-1 West Brom

West Brom travelled to White Hart Lane knowing that a win would see them in the top three, while Tottenham were desperate to bounce back after their opening day loss at St. James Park. It wasn’t exactly the most entertaining first half with neither side producing very many clear cut opportunities. Ben Foster had nothing to do in the first half and was a complete spectator. West Brom’s major chance came late on in the half, but Steven Reid’s curling free kick went well over Brad Friedel’s bar. The game really came into life in the second half.  Assou-Ekotto came close with a lovely free kick, only to be well denied by Ben Foster. Spurs thought they had taken the lead on 64 minutes when Jermain Defoe hammered the ball into the back of the net off an Assou-Ekotto cross, only to be ruled offside. Romelu Lukaku came on and began to cause problems for the Spurs defence. On 74 minutes, Assou-Ekotto brought the house down when he latched onto Sigurdsson’s cleared corner and smashed the ball into the net, although there was a major deflection off Gareth McAuley. Tottenham thought they had won it until, thirty seconds into stoppage time, James Morrison coolly slotted home for to give the Baggies a valuable equaliser. A frustrating result for Tottenham and Andre Villas-Boas, but a priceless goal for James Morrison and West Brom.

Man of the Match: Very debatable, but Gareth Bale was a real threat, and was exciting when on the ball.

Southampton 0-2 Wigan

Southampton’s first home Premier League game in seven seasons was coming off the back of an unlucky 3-2 away loss against the Champions, while Wigan had lost at home on the opening day to the European champions. Southampton dominated the majority of the first half, with Al-Habsi tipping Lallana’s shot into the crossbar on 14 minutes. Gary Caldwell then defended well to stop Lallana being played through by a fantastic through ball from Clyne. The game started slowly after the interval, but out of nowhere, on 51 minutes, James Maloney played through Franco Di Santo who smashed the ball into the top right corner. With the Saints pushing for an equaliser, Al-Habsi produced a sensational save from a wonderful Daniel Fox volley. Al-Habsi then pulled off another wonderful save, this time off a 25-yard Rickie Lambert strike. With Southampton pushing for an equaliser, Kone dispossessed Fonte on the halfway line before running into a one-on-one situation and slotting home to seal the win for Wigan. A frustrating loss for Southampton as they produced several decent chances, while Wigan will be happy with a win in a game they didn’t dominate.

Man of the Match: Franco Di Santo. The young Argentinian continues to impress for Wigan, and was a constant threat.

Chelsea 2-0 Newcastle

Can Eden Hazard get any better? The Belgian is breathing new life into the Premier League. Chelsea were fantastic in the first half, but after the break Newcastle just couldn’t convert any of several chances. After an uneventful first twenty minutes, Chelsea were awarded a penalty for a foul on Fernando Torres, and Eden Hazard stepped up to score his first goal for the Blues with a well converted penalty. Newcastle’s best chance of the first half came on 44 minutes when Papiss Cisse belted a shot from the edge of the area straight at Petr Cech. Just three minutes later Torres made it 2-0, when Eden Hazard neatly backheeled, providing the Spaniard with an easy goal. Newcastle pushed and pushed for an equaliser in the second half, with Papiss Cisse first firing a shot straight at Cech and then putting a free header well over the bar. Bertrand almost made it three with over quarter of an hour to go, but Krul deftly forced it over. Then, on 84 minutes, Demba Ba should’ve scored but instead put the ball too close to Cech from eight yards. A good, solid win for Chelsea, while Newcastle will be disappointed not to have forced a goal.

Man of the Match: Eden Hazard. The Belgian is on fire for Chelsea right now and is by far the most dangerous player in the League.

Stoke 0-0 Arsenal

Will Arsenal score? A game Arsenal should’ve won against a resilient Stoke City. It was once again a day of “what if’s” for the Gunners as they had numerous chance. But once again Arsenal rued their missed chances. Stoke dominated the early exchanges, as Walters scored from an offside position. After that Stoke opportunity, it was all Arsenal. They created two major chances in the space of a few minutes, with first Podolski unable to overpower Andy Wilkinson and then Kieran Gibbs’ cross was somehow not turned in by the German. Then, on 34 minutes, Santi Cazorla hit a wonder strike from 25 yards, only to be even bettered by Asmir Begovic who pulled of a simply stunning save. In the second half, Mikel Arteta had his horrible 20 yard effort miss by a mile, before somehow Abou Diaby failed to tap the ball in from just a few yards out. Arsenal’s only other chance came from Oliver Giroud whose long range shot skimmed the cross bar. Another frustrating result for Arsenal as they are still yet to score in their opening two games of the new season. Stoke will consider themselves lucky to have escaped with a draw.

Man of the Match: Santi Cazorla, the Spaniard was once again the chief architect in all of Arsenal’s attacks and was a real joy to watch.

Liverpool 2-2 Manchester City

Well, Liverpool certainly threw away what would’ve been a sensational win for them after their opening day horror show away at West Brom. Manchester City came into the game red-hot favourites after coming from behind on the opening day against Southampton. Liverpool came out of the blocks quicker, as Steven Gerrard had two long range shots go just wide inside the first three minutes. Disaster struck for Liverpool though when, on four minutes, Lucas, who missed the majority of last season with a knee injury, hobbled off. Liverpool should’ve taken the lead when Borini failed to convert a close-range volley. Just moments later, Tevez rounded Pepe Reina and from a tight angle did well to hit the far post. A brilliant cross from Steven Gerrard was almost sliced into the net by Vincent Kompany. Liverpool weren’t to be denied any longer, as from the resulting corner, Martin Skrtel made a fantastic run and slammed his header past Joe Hart. The next major action came on 63 minutes when Liverpool failed to clear a Carlos Tevez cross and Yaya Toure pounced to equalise from just outside the six yard box. Liverpool equalised just three minutes later. Jack Rodwell was very harshly penalised for handball and, from 25 yards, Luis Suarez’s freekick was wonderfully curved around the wall into the bottom corner leaving Joe Hart without a chance. It seemed as if Liverpool had it won as they continued to dominate possession, then shockingly, with ten minutes to go, Martin Skrtel’s provided a horror backpass which went straight to Carlos Tevez who easily rounded Pepe Reina and calmly slotted the ball into an open net. With both sides pushing for a victory, they both made attacking changes. Edin Dzeko came on and shot wide twice late on. For Liverpool, Andy Carroll came on late to a fantastic reception and then stunningly, in the 87th minute, almost won the game for the Reds as his header was cleared off the line by Vincent Kompany. A fantastic game full of controversy and an exciting conclusion. A game that either side could’ve won.

Man of the Match: Carlos Tevez. The Argentinian star was fantastic upfront for City and caused major problems for Liverpool all day.

Two down, thirty-six to go. A fantastic weekend of football!

Look out this round as Arsenal travel to Anfield to provide a mouth watering contest, while I think Southampton will be desperate to get a first win on the board as they host Manchester United.

About Thomas Clarke

Currently in year 10 at Coburg Senior High School. Love my sport, in particular football (soccer). Play in a seniors indoor team on Wednesday nights at Box Hill indoor sports centre. Diehard Manchester United fan. Support the Bulldogs in the AFL.


  1. Arsenal – not sure if they have an equivalent in the AFL. It can’t be Carlton because they’ve still got the same coach they’ve had for yonks. But they do promise a lot without delivering. Maybe they’re the Collingwoods of the EPL. They certainly break your heart as often.

    And why do the call it the ENGLISH Premier League? It’s really a case of spot the Phommy. It certainly helps the standard, but. They could always call it the European Premier League. No too sure if Brussels would allow that though.

  2. Chelsea were brilliant in the first half against the Toon. Hazard is a big get for them and they look like they will challenge for the premiership. Newcastle’s second half gave me heart though, Ba had his chances and the Magpies looked good. We need Cisse back to somewhere near last season’s form.

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