Watching little of the World Cup ( it’s on at work so it hard to avoid ) has got me thinking about how a few changes would enhance the spectacle, not only of soccer, but many other sports as well. So I’ve put a couple of ideas down for your degustation outlining what I feel would be the benefits of such changes. I welcome other recommendations that Almanacers may have in regard to this topic.

First let us stand with the sport on everyone lips and then work through a few other examples

Automatic two shot penalty for a foul in order to eliminate those cheats who “accidently” hit your ball to sink one of theirs. Possible alternate is taking off your nearest ball to the balk line off by way of punishment. But there must be a penalty and no local pub rules.
Benefit: Less blues

This one usually evokes the old “start e’m both at 99 with two minute to go” argument but I suggest that introducing an alternate 6 ft ring and an extra point for bounce goal would add an extra dimension to the game and allow short white people to get a go.
Benefit: The elimination of that abominable spin off with the trampolines.

Increase the two step rule to three eliminating a significant amount of knee injury and lower limb stress fractures
Benefit: Healthier players and less orthopaedic surgeons driving imported cars

Ten Pin Bowling.
Compulsory bumpers for all games eliminating the waste of considerable amounts of parental money as your child racks up 3 points for ten frames and want to keep playing until they get a strike
Benefit: Parent may also enjoy the experience of getting a strike without having to wear a bowling shirt

Water Polo.
Introduction of additional underwater cameras proving the viewing with perfect example of the expression about ducks looking calm on the surface but working madly underneath.
Benefit. Will result in a significant down turn in junior participation and hopefully force regulators to get tough on the thugs who presently play at club and elite levels.

Darts. The provision of on-site auto calculator which work out what you should be going for rather than struggling with the infinite combinations of double and triples and subtraction on a chalk board.
Benefit: Feeling a clever as a Yorkshire coal miner whose only skill in life is throwing darts and working out quirky numerical possibilities.

20/20 and 50 over Cricket
Just bring out the bowling machines and stop the farcical charade that bowlers still have some role in the short game.
Benefit: The significant reduction in pies at the batting end following a Brett Lee over

Video referees for all penalties given in box. Video review of all dives after each match with an automatic one game suspension for offenders. Making the goals another two metres wider and .5 metre higher. Break up FIFA.
Benefit: Get rid of the cheats and create a game that might spark a little interest in the uninitiated while ridding the world of its’ most corrupt sporting organisation and its’ parasitic hangers on.

Limit interchange to 60 per game and protect the player who put their head over the ball rather than penalising them for making the play and rewarding the seagulls who jump all over them like a hot chip. Pay the in the back rule everywhere and encourage contested marks. Eliminate that stupid knocking the hand rule. Make it compulsory for players to able to competently use their opposite foot and eliminate the use of hair product on match day
Benefit: Returning to game to where it was 15 yrs ago when games like last Friday night were the norm rather than a rarity.

About Tony Robb

A life long Blues supporter of 49 years who has seen some light at the end of the tunnel that isn't Mick Malthouse driving a train.

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