Cats Purr While The Dog Barks

By Katherine Giese

Fremantle vs. Geelong – Round 2, 2011 (Saturday 2nd April)

There was an ominous feeling in the air at my place. The impending arrival of my family, to tut-tut at my badly behaved dog, Mixie (I like to think of her as effervescent…maybe exuberant), and judge me on my housekeeping, was weighing heavily on my mind. There was the threat of another draw, or even worse, a loss. For some reason, we’ve had a few not-so-good games against the Dockers. Last year’s round three game at Subiaco Oval saw Fremantle taking the four points with their seven-point victory over a disappointing Geelong… and that was with one bald-headed superstar, whose name can no longer cross these lips.

At around 7pm, they arrive: Mum, Susie, Chris and the Chihuahua cross Pomeranian, Bella. Oh, and the fish and chips. Susan quickly settles in to watch her new favourite team… the Gold Coast Scum…I mean, Suns. She is wearing her Geelong guernsey and a Gold Coast Suns scarf…much to my disgust!

A very quiet first quarter by the Suns saw Susie entertaining herself by flying (read “crashing”) a remote control helicopter all around my lounge room…and singing the Gold Coast club song (yes, she’s learnt the words… well, half of them).

Chris took Mixie out for a walk, in the hope that she’d be tired and leave us all alone while we watched the Geelong game. My aunty was going to stay home and listen to the game, but a loud party at her neighbour’s house saw her rock up here too.

Finally…the game begins. We play ‘Spot the Geelong Supporter’. Some nice tackling by Geelong at the start, but Jimmy Bartel coughs it up. According to the commentators, the umpires are ‘barking instructions early’… at my place, it’s the dogs doing the barking.

Jimmy kicks it into a Freo player – it’s not his night (and we’re only three minutes into the game!) Fortunately, a decision or two went our way, and I’m still watching the game. With about nine minutes to go in the first quarter, Stevie J kicks a lovely goal – woohoo! He was never going to pull off that second shot at goal, though it looked interesting. Then, Stevie J found Stokes and Susie lost her mind. Stokes goals and Mixie kisses Susie: we’re all winners here tonight. Susie declares Stokes the best player of all time (after Byrnes, of course). Some good work from Harry Taylor, and Susie not only declares him the defender of the millennia, she retrospectively awards him joint Norm Smith medallist 2009 – onya, Susie.

For a while, all the play is in Geelong’s forward half and the Cats apply some impressive forward pressure, but all too soon, the ball is back within scoring distance for the Dockers. We laugh at Chris Mayne’s mane, but we shut up when he goals and brings the margin back to seven points. Susie is none too impressed with the commentators referring to Mitch Duncan as ‘the Geelong player’ (last week, they called him ‘Milburn’).

The game is not going to plan. We all breathe a sigh of relief when a Fremantle shot for goal hits the post and soon after, a huge kick from Ling brings squeals of excitement when it manages to go through for a goal! The margin is back out to twelve points, though this is short-lived. With thirteen seconds on the clock, Susie notes that we’ve already almost caught up to last week’s final score!

It’s Dockers vs. Cats…but I’m watching the dogs… It’s difficult to enjoy the footy when you’re supervising some crazy critters. I’m fortunate enough to see some of our new players do some good things – Menzel and Duncan seem exciting young prospects for a new-look Geelong side.

Stevie J and Varcoe team up a few times during the game, including some magic that leads to a great goal with eleven minutes left in the first half. Geelong’s lead was 22 points… momentarily. A quick reply by Fremantle (their first goal in the second quarter) killed our buzz.

Some silly behaviour from Geelong saw a Freo free about two millimetres out from goal; surprisingly, they scored. Stevie J had a massive clash with Sandilands`, but bounced right back up. One of Mum’s favourite phrases “No sense, no feeling” springs to mind.

We become a bit disgruntled as Freo seem to be amassing a large, and therefore unfair, amount of free kicks. Free-o? With Geelong only three points up at half-time, I think I’ve lost interest in the game. Playing soccer with Mixie during the long break revitalises me.

The third term starts. Ling applies a nice tackle and Susie coins a new phrase: the “Ling-sling”. Forward pressure from Freo results in some enthusiastic yelling at my television. (I’m not the one doing the yelling – I’m taking notes.) A bizarre banana kick from Menzel takes us out to a seven-point lead, with nine minutes and thirty-two seconds left on the clock in the third term.

A lot of messing around by Geelong makes it an unpleasant game to watch. I worry that Geelong’s glory days are well and truly over, but then, a brilliant goal from Chapman sees the West Australian crowd go quiet. Yay! Eight points up! Wojak misses a gimme-goal after the third-quarter siren, making it nine points the margin going into the final term.

Mayne misses… Pavlich misses… we’re still ahead. Ten points the margin. Susie calls that Duncan will be a better player than Ablett. Nice call, Susie. (NOTE FROM SUSIE: For the record, I occasionally make huge big calls in the heat of battle. I wish to ammend this to say Dunks will be a superstar. However, if it does eventuate that he is better than Gazza, remember that you read it here first!) A nice passage of play from Geelong finishes off with a Ling…miss. Before I knew it, Fremantle had goaled again, making it less than a goal in the game with less than two minutes to go.

Stokesy goals with a minute to go and celebration ensues. Geelong are eleven points up. Are we home? We dare not relax yet. After what seems like an eternity, the siren goes – we win!!! My family and Bella go very shortly after. I get to watch the last half of the game and fill in the blanks in my report, thereby creating some kind of infinite loop thing (think about it).

In my opinion, it’s been an interesting, though not very impressive, start to the year for one Chris Scott… He’ll have to wait a bit longer before I bestow upon him the awesome nickname of Great Scott!

I am exhausted. Next time Geelong play in WA, I think I’ll suggest to my family that they actually make the trek over there…and take their dog.


  1. The word ‘Scums’ is catching on with us Cat supporters Katherine.

    I should have registered it last week.

  2. There is such a lack of love in this world!!!

    Chris, after expressing his initial digust at my choice of scarf, went on to point out that it had a spelling mistake. I checked the scarf, but couldn’t see anything wrong. I looked at Chris, and he just said, “It doesn’t say ‘Geelong’.” Very amusing, dear family.

    I say, embrace the freshness that the Suns bring to the competition! At the very least, your team is guaranteed a win and a percentage boost! Think of the positives!!!

  3. Good win that, very good win. Goooooooood win.

  4. John Butler says

    Susie, if it’s freshness we seek in footy, perhaps a Bulldogs premiership would serve us better? :)

  5. Perhaps, JB. But I think it’s important to keep goals realistic :P

  6. Sorry, that actually sounded really mean to poor Doggies supporters. I was just referring to the fact that the football world has more or less conceded Collingwood have the next 3 – 4 premierships in the bag.

  7. John Butler says

    The GCS will certainly need to be doing that. :)

  8. Kat, clearly the attraction of the dogs was greater for you than either the Suns or the Cats. I think that shows that deep down your heart lies with the footy club based at the other end of Geelong Rd.

  9. #8,

    woof, woof, woof.

  10. #9. Who’d have thought you could detect sarcasm in a bark…

  11. Good work Kath, great insight into the Giese family.

    That Susie is a bit of a nutter isn’t she?

  12. #11. Josh, I prefer to think of Susie as effervescent…maybe exuberant… ;)

  13. Go Catters! Thought we’d lose this one.

  14. #8. You are clearly an idiot.

  15. Steve Healy says

    Great report Kat, It’s good to see the Cats get up in a couple of close ones two weeks in a row.
    yes I too thought Susie shouldn’t own a gold coast scarf- but at least she got it done with early, I doubt the Suns will get much merchandise sold now.

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